D is for doxacatgrapher. Did you know that? No? Don't worry, neither did I. I had no idea what a doxacatgrapher was until today. 'Cause it was just today when I invented the word.
And do you know what else? It turns out that I am one. Yup. It's true. I am a doxacatgrapher.
Doxa means opinion and grapher has stuff to do with writing and whatnot, I think. There already was a term, doxographer. My pals from Oxford say that a doxographer is a writer. But not just any ol' writer. Doxographers went about collecting and recording opinions. Specifically, those opinions of the philosophers of ancient Greece.
Well, I don't know 'bout you but I don't know a whole lot of ancient Greek philosophers. Sure, I might have heard about them or even read about them but I don't know them. As a matter of fact, I don't think I know a single one. I am workin' on building a time machine and if I can ever figure out how to hook the doohickey up to the thingamajig that sits next to that whatchamacallit, I might just be able to meet a couple of them but until then, I'm fresh out of ancient philosophers.
This is exactly why my new word, doxacatgrapher, will be so useful in the twenty-first century. It's a modern word for modern times. You see, a doxacatgrapher doesn't collect the opinions of philosophers from the times of long, long ago. A doxacatgrapher doesn't need a time machine in order to do his or her work. All a doxacatgrapher needs is a computer. Well, that and an Internet connection.
This is because doxacatgraphers are, in fact, cat bloggers. A doxacatgrapher is a blogger who collects and records the opinions of cats. Usually, cats who philosophise.
And doxacatgraphers do not need to be cats, themselves. They could be peeps or dogs or even bunnies. I know a lot of doxacatgraphers and I will admit that while most of them are cats, a good number of them are of other species.
Of course, a cat blogger such as myself does have an advantage when it comes to doxacatgraphing. You see, I myself have been known to philosophise a little and... I'm a cat. Therefore, my personal philosophies are, in fact, the philosophies of cats. So... while sometimes I do go out and collect the opinions of other cats, sometimes... I just collect my own opinions. I do have quite a few of them, you know. This has never really been a problem. Occasionally, I might come up with a few contradictory opinions and that can result in one gargantuan headache, of course. It's very difficult to not listen to what is bein' said between your two, very own ears, you know. You can try wearin' ear plugs but that usually just makes it worse. The dissenting opinions of the contradictory philosophies tend to reverberate within your head, bouncing from ear to ear but never makin' their escape 'cause of the ear plugs blockin' their paths. Finally, you just have to hack up the ol' hairball and let it loose in the world. But I digress... Luckily for me, most of the time, I tend to agree with me, myself and I. I mean... who wouldn't?
But I do have a word of warning for cat, doxacatgraphers. A doxacatgrapher does not need to be a cat him or herself however, they must collect the opinions of cats and not the opinions of lesser species. Sometimes, we cat bloggers are recordin' the opinions of someone else. Someone who is not a cat. It is very easy for a cat blogger to collect the opinions of peeps and think that they are doxacatgraphing. But at that moment, they're not. Not every blogging cat is a doxacatgrapher. And not every doxacatgrapher is doxacatgraphing with every post. Sometimes, we cats are just blogging. Just blogging 'bout stuff and whatnot.
And that's for the best, I think. You know what they say... variety is the spice of life. Well... peeps say that. We cats would say that the true spice of life is anchovy paste. Hey, do you know something? I, Nerissa the cat, just doxacatgraphised! And that was a perfect example of doxacatgraphing, if I do say so, myself.