My sister, Tobias, has a new hobby.
Well... her hobby isn't brand spankin' new. She discovered it about a month ago. I think the peeps think she has been doin' it for even longer than that but that's probably just 'cause they're findin' it to be a little bit annoying. Just a tad. Just a wee bit. Just a whisker's width.
Toby has discovered that it's fun to knock stuff off tables. She hops right up onto the coffee table, in the family room, and spots something worth knocking. She eyes it first, givin' it the once over. Then, ever-so-gently, a paw extends. A gentle tap followed by another and then another until - you guessed it - whatever it was that was on the table is now off the table. Peering over the table's edge, she watches her prey fall to the ground.
Pens, papers, magazines... all of these objects have fallen victim to Toby's new hobby. She even managed to get her paws on some hand cream a couple of times. The peeps no longer leave anything sharp like scissors on that table. Too dangerous if they should fall on one of us cats or a peep's toe, you see. Nothin' breakable, either. Toby's not ready for breakables. I'm sure you can understand why.
Now, this may be Toby's new hobby but I, myself, have been doin' stuff like this for years. I don't limit myself to coffee tables, however. No, I have taken the art form to new heights. Specifically, the height of the kitchen counters. They're twice the height of the coffee table, for sure. Also, unlike the coffee table, counters hold the deliciously delightful things I call breakables. Breakables add a whole new feature to the game, you know. And, of course, breakables... non-breakables... doesn't matter... they all fall to the floor. Yup. It's true. Gravity acts on 'em all.
I once read about this guy named Sir Isaac Newton. It is said that he was sittin' under an apple tree, minding his own business, when an apple fell on his head causin' him to discover this thing we call gravity. That's right. Supposedly, he gets bonked on the head and that bonkin' causes him to understand all about somethin' called the gravitational constant. Then he starts writing down a whole whack of letters, creating formulae and whatnot, to represent apples fallin' from trees. Apparently, the apples in question needed instructions to fall, or somethin' like that. No one really knows for sure. It was a long time ago.
But I'm not sure that I believe this whole apple business. I mean, if I was sittin' under an apple tree and that tree bonked me on the head with one of its apples, I'd be a little annoyed with said apple tree. Wouldn't you? And, what if that apple was a big and heavy ol' apple. Bein' bonked with something like that could really hurt a cat's head. A cat might even be knocked unconscious by something like that. On the other paw, I do do some of my best work in an unconscious state. A state which I call napping. But seriously, an apple a day is supposed to keep the doctor away. Bein' bonked on the head with one of 'em is far more likely to get you a trip to the vet.
We have a few apple trees, in my garden, although most of them are grumpy. Or are they crabby? Doesn't really matter. My point is, I don't see many apples fallin' from 'em. I'm far more likely to see acorns fall from the oaks. Oak trees drop their acorns a lot. Can't seem to hold onto 'em. Sometimes they drop 'em on their own, sometimes with the help of those pesky squirrels. Either way, a cat has gotta watch his head when it's acorn season.
I suppose that this Newton fellow would say that this gravity stuff applies to acorns in the same manner as it applies to apples. And he would be right about that. Actually, I think he should have started with acorns in the first place. I find the idea of bein' bonked on the head with an acorn far more believable than bein' apple bonked. Those acorns are tricksters for sure. Little breeze picks up and you've got a whole acorn shower on your paws. Yup... rainin' acorns.
You know, I've never actually knocked an acorn or an apple off the kitchen counter. To be honest, I've never even seen an acorn on the counter. Apples though... uh huh... uh huh... Actually, I think there might be some apples on the kitchen counter right now. I might have spotted some apples up there this morning. Hmmm.... I wonder if a little experimentation is in order... Be right back.