Yup. That's what I said. I said, "Just say no!" And I said it just like that.
I realized afterwards that I needn't have said it all. I needn't have said it, 'cause my peep already had. But better safe than sorry 'cause... you know... peeps can be so silly sometimes. So very, very silly. They can do some pretty silly-willy things. Sometimes without even tryin'.
Lots of peeps out there try to get other peeps to do stuff those other peeps don't really wanna do. They do this for various reasons. Some are good reasons and some are bad. But I'm not talking 'bout the reasons nor am I talking 'bout those peeps doin' the askin'. No, those aren't the peeps central to today's post. In today's post, I'm talking 'bout the peeps who are asked to do the stuff. Asked to do the stuff they don't wanna do.
When asked to do somethin' you don't wanna do, there's a very simple recourse. You just need to say no. If you don't wanna do something, don't do it. It's as simple as that.
Okay, maybe not quite that simple 'cause we've got to bear in mind, there are some things in life we have to do, whether we like it or not. In these situations, we don't get to say no. No is not an option. We just have to do it. Like... my brother Seville has to take a pill every day now to help prevent his pee-pee problems. He doesn't get to say no. He just has to take the pill.
Sometimes we're asked to do things we don't wanna do but feel obliged to do. At times like these, one must weigh the pros and cons of the situation. Does the good of doin' the thing outweigh the bad of doin' it? Perhaps, you feel, the end result is worth it? Like... when my sister Tobias asks me to licka-da-top-o-her-head. For me, I can assure you, the novelty of all this head lickin' business has worn off. I mean, I've got enough personal washin' to do of my own. I really don't need to add to it. Not to mention the extra fur balls! But Toby loves it so much that I almost always give in and give her a good five minutes here and there. An eternity to me but for her, never long enough. But it does make her happy and hearin' the gigantic purrs emanating from my little sister, makes it all worthwhile.
But you know... there's a catch to this sort of obligational doin' of stuff thing. If you have thought about well, and decided to go ahead and do the task after all, 'cause you really felt the end result was worth it, then... YOU DON'T TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT! It was a decision you made and you have to live with that decision and the rest of the world doesn't wanna hear your complaints. Like... when my peep #1 worked on a certain committee in a certain club for three years. She decided she was gonna do that even though I warned her that it would be tonnes and tonnes of work. She needn't have come complainin' to me when she was bein' run off her feet. She should have thought about that before she agreed to do it. Luckily for the both of us, she's not gonna do that anymore.
Now, there's one last situation one may encounter. What if you're asked to do somethin' you really don't wanna do and quite frankly, really don't care if it ever gets done at all? Well then, that's when you haul out our trusty little word... NO! There's nothin' wrong with sayin' no, especially with this type of thing. You don't even have to give a reason but if you do, for goodness' sake, give the real reason and not some made up excuse. It's perfectly acceptable to say, "No, I don't want to." Believe it or not, not wanting to is a reason.
And by not doin' something you really don't wanna do, you might just be doin' everyone else a big favour. You don't wanna be one of those peeps who agrees to do EVERYTHING and then ends up doin' absolutely nothin', well. You know the kind of peep I'm talking 'bout. I'm sure you've run into a few, here and there. Some of them seem to not know the word no. Most of them, I think, just feel too awkward or guilty to use the word no. But a few of them - and these are the worst ones of all - experience a feeling of self-inflated self-importance by refusing to say the word no. Like the world is gonna stop spinning if they don't take on that last task. Excuse me... I know a little bit about kitty physics and I know that's never gonna happen. The world stops spinning for no peep.
This last sort of peep is the most annoying and dangerous sort of peep the world has ever faced. This is the sort of peep who accepts task after task after task and then... complains 'cause he has too much work to do. Then he makes up excuses 'cause he can't get it all done. And usually, those excuses put the blame on everyone else. Never for a moment does this sort of peep realize that the real reason he can't do all he agreed to do is that he' took on too many tasks in the first place! This is the kind of peep for whom the tail of reality was invented. One day, all these oh-I-have-to-do-it-all-'cause-no-one-else-is-capable sort of peeps will meet up with that tail and then we'll all have a quite a show to see. It's gonna be a good one. I'm planning on gettin' a front row seat. Better rest up, in the meantime.
Yes, and for sure for the young ones out there, when their "peers" tell them to do something bad, they really DO need to know how to just say no.ReplyDelete
Nerissa, I am very glad to see this. My mom ;earned early on the value of saying no. If it means nothing to her..or if she has other obligations or of it would require rearranging her life to do it..no. Exceptions are as you stated: you HAVE to..there is no other way BUT to...serious consequences to others if you do NOT do it and also,the reasons you stated so well. Just say no after due consideration if no is warranted. Say yes when you wish to help, when it is the right thing to do, when it's family, when someone truly needs you. Then say yes. Never be selfish.ReplyDelete
Nerissa, you are my kinda girl, "NO" is my middle name.....I am always in the "NO"! =^Y^=TOYReplyDelete
It is such a good idea to learn to say 'no'. If you don't, you end up not doing a good job at what you said 'yes' to. You just have to decide what is important and what isn't. Have a great day.ReplyDelete
You are very wise! Sometimes you just gotta say no and that's a lot better than disappointing everyone with a yes that doesn't work out!ReplyDelete
How furry purrceptive yous is! Mommy has a card in her wallet that says "Just Say NO!" Mommy used to gets talked into doing too much and would ill herself trying to gets it all done.ReplyDelete
PS Does your peeps have family in Calgary? Mommy used to babysit peoples with the same last name.
I am always telling my human NO - she should learn from me.ReplyDelete
dood...we noe eggs act lee what ewe meen...we lurned ta just say noe round R houz like sum time ago...like when de food service purrson asked did we wanna eat sum chick or turkee we quik lee said NOE...ReplyDelete
did we wanna put R perches by de window wear we could see de burd feeder out side...NOE
haz we ever in R hole lives ever even LIKED burds....a big H#LL NOE
look up burd in de dicshun narry.... N ewe will see de werd
Sometimes it's hard to say no, especially when guilt or obligation kicks in... but you're right. No complaning afterwards!ReplyDelete
If you never say NO you can end up as everyone's "Dog's Body" - an expression here for a silly person who never says no to anything for anyone and then moans about it and doesn't want to do it but does very badly!ReplyDelete
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Mommy took a very long time before she finally learnt how to say NO. And now that she has, she feels so much better and happier!ReplyDelete
Mommy feels really good about not going to the meeting last night cause it was her birthday and she did not want to ruin it listening to crabby people blather on and on, which they always do.ReplyDelete
There's always next month.
No such a good simple word!love it,xx Speedy's mumReplyDelete
Good post. People find it so hard to say no sometimes don't they. Afraid they will annoy or hurt folks - but they end up hut or annoyed too * rolls eyes * Just say NO!ReplyDelete
My mom is a Yes Girl. She rarely says No to anyone. Mom sez she's a chronic pleaser. Sounds like she needs therapy. But she's working on it. This past weekend my Grammy and Aunt Car visited, and Mom told Dad NO when he wanted her to find some toy he had as a child to show his mom. She felt really weird about telling him NO, but he didn't make a big deal out of it, so maybe she will be adding NO to her vocabulary from now on.ReplyDelete
I say No a lot. Such as, when it is baff time. :)ReplyDelete
This was a great post. I'm gonna forward it to a couple of folks. I especially like the advise of Tell the Truth! Someone we love once told us a lie explaining why she couldn't go to the beach. Our HuMom thought the one (supposedly) stopping her was full of donkey do, so she went and told him so. Turns out he was all for it but the one we loved was a scared of saying no. Geez! All that drama for nothing. HuMom was mad and hurt that the one we love did just tell us the truth.ReplyDelete
Thank you! We think it'd be a good idea to keep a bag of "No's" around just in case someone forgets this important word. We're not mentioning names but, um, they should say No more often, we thinks. Purrs...ReplyDelete
You sure are clever. Cocco squeals no a little more often than he needs to :-)ReplyDelete
Have sat here looking at the empty comment box so wanting to say thank you for this reminder to say "no" but still wondering where to store the guilt. I will nap and ponder some more but definitely going to forward it (the blog MOL not my guilt) to a furiend who I know will appreciate it as much as I have.ReplyDelete
I say No when I don't want to do it and I say Yes, when I want to do it and I won't do it just to please somebody. I think that's one reason why we came into human's life, they have a lot to learn.. of us :)ReplyDelete
It's sometimes a know no situation!ReplyDelete
You got THAT right! Hey, thanks for posting that: MomKatt needed to read that this morning. And that last kinda peep that you spoke of sounds like my MomKatt's cousin's boss. "Gee, I wish I had more free time!" she's always sayin'. Well, then don't take on every dang-blasted thing that comes across your desk, lady!ReplyDelete
MomKatt does NOT do that, because her priorities are DadKatt and us and her sanity, in varying degrees of order but all of which needs are pretty much equal. She needs all equally in order to be a functioning hooman bean.
SO! She knows "No" and so do I!
PURRZ my furriend!
Mom has no problem at all saying "No" ......she just has a problem with those that don't like to hear it. Love, CodyReplyDelete
Oh Nissy humans make everything so difficult sometimes don't they? Just saying no for instance.....WE do it quite easily. I'm as eager to please as the next cat but I can happily "draw the line" and just say no. I like keeping it uncomplicated....eat/sleep/eat/sleep - sounds good to me. Never over-commit; overeat yes - over-commit NO WAY.ReplyDelete
Kitty hugs, Sammy
Just to let you know, you have been nominated for an award at my blog.ReplyDelete
Sometimes I don't use that word, but instead I simply don't say yes.ReplyDelete
You are such a deep thinker, Nerissa. My Human used to have a little, tiny, bit of that last kind of Peep in her, but you know what? Not any more. When she turned fifty (a l-o-n-g time ago now), she finally grew a pair [Do you think I could do that? -Ed.] and learned that most important two-letter word "N-O" and she has been a MUCH happier peep every since.ReplyDelete
oh how well we know THIS one. Our peep has finally begun to understand the value of the word. She fell into the too guilty to use the word category *eyeroll*. Seriously. Humans!ReplyDelete
My name is Jana Randall and I am a writer for SheKnows.com. I would love to feature your cat (with it's mouth open) in an article about "Baffling Pet Behaviors". Once given your permission, I will link the photo back to your blog.
Hey there, Jana! I tried to link back to you but got stuck in Google+ so I really hope you get this. YES! You have my permission to feature Constance. She's my sister. Litter mate sister... not just adoptive. Her name is Constance but we call her Connie, for short. purrsDelete