My sister Constance is such a little suck up. She really, really is.
For those of you who don't know, Connie is my sister sister. No, I'm not repeatin' myself there. You see... Tobias, Tess and Mason are my sisters 'cause we all have the same peeps but Constance and Beatrice and I not only have the same peeps but also the same mama and dad. In fact, we were all litter mates. Yup, it's true. We were all born in the same wood pile at the very same time. Well... my peeps say there might have been an hour or so in between each birth but they weren't there to witness it so I think they're just guessin' or something. There were no peeps there, to witness our birth, at all. We were born feral.
So anyway... back to Constance. She really is the suck up of the family. She has that peep #1 wrapped around her little claw, I tell you. Connie can do no wrong in the eyes of peep #1. Peep #2 is on to her but peep #1 is as blind as a bat when it comes to my sister and her suck-uppedness. Hmmm.... suck-uppedness... is that a word? Well, it is now!
As you probably all know, I enjoy watching a little television with my peep #1. Really, I do. I'll curl up next to her for snuggles during The Big Bang Theory and whatnot. I especially like watching The Big Bang Theory with her 'cause I know that you all know how I have a little theory of my own 'bout that show. I'm absolutely positive that that cat Sheldon really is a cat. Way too smart to be a peep. I'm sure he's a cat is disguise.
Anywho... I'll be all snuggled up next to my peep #1 waiting for our show to start, when my sister Constance will arrive on the scene. Up onto the couch she'll jump. She thinks nothing of walkin' right over the peep's lap and then wriggling in between the peep and me. Talk about nerve! You'd think she owns the joint or somethin'. I'm pretty sure she thinks she does. Next thing I know, I'm snuggled up to the peep and my sister Constance. I end up having to share the peep. Even worse... I end up having to share the snuggles! Happens all the time.
Now, you might be wondering just how Connie manages to get away with this kind of behaviour. Well, you see... It's her job to sleep with the peep. We all took a vote and Constance lost. Yup, that's just how it happened. But Constance, being super-duper smart and all - partly 'cause she's my sister and partly 'cause she's a cat - decided to take advantage of the situation. She has managed to convince peep #1 that she actually likes sleeping with her at night. What a little actor is my sister. If I didn't know better, I'd think she liked it, too.
Constance usually sleeps right on top of my peep. Uses her as a mattress, I'm afraid. Even if the peep sleeps on her side, Connie still sleeps right on top of her. She manages to balance herself on the peep's hip. The peep thinks it's cute. Silly peep.
Anywho... the other night, Constance decided to go for a behaviour modification upgrade. Instead of sleeping on top of the peep, my sister crept up next to the peep's face. The peep wasn't even aware of what was happening until she woke up and found Connie lying with her head on the pillow and a paw stretched out, touching her face. And what do you suppose woke the peep up in the first place? Purring, of course. Connie was purrin' up a storm like there was no tomorrow. She was purring and purring and purring. It was practically deafening, I am told.
Personally, I would find this kind of behaviour to be an intrusion of my personal space but the peep... well, the peep... the peep thought it was adorable! The whole next day, all I heard, over and over and over again, was 'bout how cute Connie had been the night before... sleepin' just like a person would with her head on the pillow. The phrase fur baby was used. I believe I heard fur angel, too. I'm tellin' you... that sister of mine sure does know how to work it. What a little suck-up.
It's not that I don't understand the power of the sleeping cat pose. Oh, I get that, all right. I get it loud and clear! The pose of a sleeping cat is one of the most powerful forces in the universe... guaranteed to elicit oohs and ahhs from any and all nearby peeps. The thing is, these sleeping poses must be used with the utmost of care. They must be doled out in moderation. If cats go around doin' these cute poses all over the place, peeps are gonna expect the cute poses all the time. They're gonna want sleeping cat poses twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We cats are already sleeping eighteen to twenty hours a day. We can't possibly give up the rest of the hours! There are patrols to be made, there is washing to be done, food to be eaten and nip to be nipped.
Connie isn't lookin' at the big picture here. She doesn't see the precedent she is setting. She's cute and she knows it. She's way too cute for her own good. Certainly too cute for mine. Oh, MOUSES! Connie, my sister, I give up. I see the writing on the wall and I can read it, too. Just go for it. Work it baby!