Other cats have normal peeps. Other cats have normal peeps with normal problems but oh, no... not me. I'm stuck with this peep #1 of mine and let me tell you, she's a pawful.
Long, long ago... way back in ancient times, when my first peep was in university, she started gettin' earaches. It was weird for the peep, I am told, for prior to this she had only ever had one earache in her entire life. She went to the doctor and then a specialist and was told that she was allergic to dust. Told you... weird. The Arts' Center where she was studying was super dusty and the air was super dry and the combination of the two was makin' her ears ache.
I know what you're all thinking... earaches? Peeps with allergies get itchy eyes and runny noses and sneeze a lot. Well not my peep. My peep was weird. Just couldn't be normal like other peeps out there.
Now fast track to a couple of years ago. That was when the peep got this itchy tickly kind of thing in the back of her throat. It didn't hurt. It was just itchy and tickly and made her do these little coughy things all the time. Very annoying. I guess it was annoying for her, too, but let me tell you... it was really annoying for me. I had to listen to it. There are only so many annoying little coughs my sensitive ears can handle before the whole situation gives me a headache.
The peep remembered that back in the last ice age, when her doctor sent her to that specialist, the specialist had been an ear, nose and throat doctor. That made her start thinkin' that all these things were connected and just maybe the itchy throat was like the earaches and just another manifestation of an allergy. So she got some allergy pills and they worked like a charm. No more annoying coughs to be heard. Yoo-hoo! YOO-HOO!!!
Now with the arrival of winter here in Canada and this recent cold spell, the peep's allergies appear to be back. No earaches though. No annoying little coughs, either. This time, it appears that the peep, for once in her life, has decided to go the normal route. She's sneezing up a storm and blowing her nose like there's no tomorrow. I'm telling you... it's like living with a human foghorn or something. And I'm sure she has managed to use enough tissues to clean out an entire forest. It's gettin' kind of ridiculous.
I reminded my peep 'bout those allergy pills that worked wonders on the ol' cough business. I reminded her she still had an entire box of the things. But my reminders went in one ear and out the other. She hasn't taken a single pill. She says that the year she took 'em for the cough, she had four colds when normally she only ever has one a year, if even that. She says the sneezing is less trouble than the colds. I say... MOUSES! I'm mouses tired of listening to all the sneezing and the honking. And she has started to develop a sort of Rudolfy kind of thing there in the middle of her face with all this nose blowing business and, quite frankly, I'm tired of lookin' at it. I mean... it is not a fashion statement anyone would ever want to make. Of that, I am sure.
I figure that if a peep can pill a cat, a cat can pill a peep. Well, twelve cats can pill a peep, anyway. She's bigger than us, you know. So here's the plan... I'm absolutely sure that the twelve of us cats can take 'er. We're all gonna get together and pill that peep. Ten of us will hold her down while I pry open her mouth and my brother Seville is gonna shove one of those allergy pills down her throat. Seville is especially excited 'bout us pilling the peep 'cause the peep has been pillin' him, twice a day now, ever since he spent those two nights in hospital due to his crystals issue.
The peep swears she does not have a cold... that it's just allergies. She says it's the dust thing all over again. The air is dry in the house 'cause of winter and she has been spending a lot of time in my office, workin' on her book and my blog. I can't complain 'bout her helpin' me with my blog more than usual but I do think she could ease up on the book thing. I mean... I'm the writer in this family. She needn't even try to compete with the mighty blogmeister.
She might want to do a better job with the dustin', though, if it's dust to which she's allergic. She had just better not claim she has suddenly become allergic to cats, or somethin' crazy like that. That's crazy talk, that is. Crazier than squirrels making nut pies, I tell you.
Take a pill, peep! 'Cause if you don't... we're gonna help you...