Wednesday, 28 November 2012
The origins of Bloody Wednesday began a few years ago, when my Auntie Primrose was taken to see the doctor for her annual check-up. Auntie Primrose has never been one to enjoy visiting the doctor. She has had some issues with doctors in the past. She has had those issues since kittenhood but still, once a year, she must go in for her vaccinations and whatnot.
The peeps rarely crate the Prim when goin' to see the doctor. Instead, they usually put her on a leash. You see, Primrose is a very nervous cat and by the time the peeps get her into the carrier, she's in such a mood that the doctors can't properly examine her. They can't listen to her heart or check her teeth or anything. At least not safely. And don't even mention the whole temperature taking business! Remember, this is the cat that once ended up on my peep #1's head while at the doctor's office. I think I told you 'bout that incident. And remember how two of her doctors left to find new careers? Yup, that's my Auntie Primrose!
So this particular time was, I am told, a little better than most... at first. My auntie had settled into my peep #1's arms quite nicely. I doubt she was purring or anything but she wasn't complaining and that's a good sign with the Prim. The peep sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting room - directly opposite the desk - and all was well. Or at least that's what they thought. Duh duh duh duhhhh....
At some point, a man came into the hospital to collect his dog. One of the staff members brought the dog - the very big dog - out from behind the desk. There is a secret passage or something that leads from the exam rooms and kennels and whatnot to said desk. Secret passages are neat stuff, you know. Anywho... the staff member handed the dog's leash to another staff member who handed it to the man picking up his dog. Well, my peep #1 was watching all this and not thinkin' a whole lot 'bout it, as is typical peep. She saw the man drop the leash. Yup, that's what he did. He DROPPED the leash. So then, the very big dog was effectively, loose in the hospital.
Of course, the dog - the very big dog - decided to come on over and visit the peep. He probably wanted to visit my Auntie Primrose, too. Well, Auntie Prim was having NOTHING to do with that! She wanted out of my peep's arms right there and then. I'm pretty sure she was planning to climb some walls or something and find a perch out of that dog's reach.
My peep hung onto my auntie for dear life. She was terrified that if Primrose got loose, she might get lost. What if someone opened the door and she made an escape outside? My hospital is on a busy road. She could get hurt out there. So my peep hung onto Primrose but Primrose dearly wanted the peep to let her go. But the peep wouldn't let go so Primrose bit the peep. Not once... not twice... but fourteen times. Yup, they counted the bite marks afterwards. That's how they knew.
The peep jumped up and ran down to the very end of the hallway, still clutching Auntie Primrose and leaving a trail of blood all the way behind her. A little pool of the stuff collected on the floor, right at the end. The dog was in hot pursuit. Off in the distance, peep #1 heard peep #2 yelling at the incredibly stupid and oblivious man, "GO GET YOUR DOG!!!" I left out a couple of words there 'cause Nerissa's Life is a family-friendly blog. Anywho... you get the picture, I am sure.
Then, like magic, an exam room door opened and peep #1 was ushered inside. Primrose was hastily shoved into one of their carriers and was she ever in a mood. Let me tell you, when the carrier is a-rocking, don't you come a knocking 'cause there be one cranky cat inside there for sure! The peeps hands - both of them - were washed and cleaned and treated by my doctor. Ointments were added and then they were both wrapped in doggy bandages and by that, I mean, bandages meant to be used on doggies. Then my doctor wrote a note for the peep doctor at the peep emergency room to make sure he or she knew just what might be inside a kitty's mouth. Personally, I'm thinkin' teeth would be found in there but maybe the peep doctors are unaware of such things. Who knows... Then the peep was sent off to the emergency room and my Auntie Primrose spent the night at my hospital.
But let me tell you one more thing. When the peep doctor saw my peep's hands, do you know what he did? Do you? He laughed! He laughed at the peep! Yup. Said something like, "Boy, she really got you good, huh?" Imagine that. Never in my whole life has my doctor ever laughed at me. She wouldn't dream of it. Not in a million years. A million cat or human years. Not ever. My doctors know better. My doctors are smarty-pants smart after all. But I can tell you who isn't smart. That stupidity-dupity man of obliviousness who started what is now known - all across the province of Nova Scotia, I would imagine - as Bloody Wednesday! MOUSES!!!