Sunday, 10 July 2016

the spider and the peep

Sometimes I wonder 'bout my peeps.  MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I've been tellin' you all how I've been wondering 'bout those peeps of mine, since before recorded history, but what can I say?  They keep on givin' me reasons to wonder!  Especially Peep #1.  She's grounds for wonderment, for sure. MOUSES!

So the other night...

Now this was not the night I blogged about on Wednesday, when Peep #1 came out lookin' for me in her nightie, embarrassing me as no peep has ever embarrassed a cat before.  Nor was it the night I mentioned, in that very same blog post, when the peep went out lookin' for Rushton in her nightie.  No, this was another night.  This was after that.  This was Thursday, the day after I blogged 'bout those other two incidents.  MOUSES!

So anyway...  I was outside, and it was dark, and I heard the peep callin' me, but decided I wasn't gonna pay any attention to her.  I figured I'd wait until she gave up and went inside, and then show up at the door.  Also, I wasn't sure if she was in her nightie again and I really, really didn't want a repeat performance of that.  At least not so soon.  A cat has a reputation to maintain, you see. MOUSES!

Well I ignored her and I ignored her, and then the next thing I knew, there she was, standin' practically in front of me, with that darned, moused-up flashlight of hers, flashin' the whole neighbourbood.

Yeah, yeah, I know...  Different kind of flashing.  But anyway...

So there she was, shinin' the flashlight around like she was signalling for the mother ship to come home and get her, when all of a sudden...

Now you remember 'bout how Peep #1 got scared by that spider when she was prickin' out the primroses, a little while ago?  Well this was WAY worse that that.

So Peep #1 was flashin' her flashlight about, when all of a sudden, she saw it.  There it was.  There, right before her...

Oh my mouses, even I am havin' difficulty relating the incident.  Yes, my friends, it was THAT scary.

Now that spider the peep saw before, the one in the primroses, was the biggest, baddest spider anyone had ever seen.  As big as my longest claw, even if said claw had been recently trimmed.

Well that's what the peep was sayin' at the time.  She was sayin' it was the biggest, baddest spider, EVER.  But truth be told, she lied, 'cause let me tell you...

Let me tell you, the biggest, baddest spider there ever was, was not the spider in amongst the primroses.  No sirree.  The biggest, baddest spider there ever was, was the spider hangin' there, in the middle of a web, that stretched out between the ladybug hedge and the white lilac tree - which didn't bloom again this year but that is another story for another day - like it had taken over the entire yard.  The spider's web, I mean, and not the lilac tree, although that ol' ladybug hedge is doin' it's best to take over, for sure.

But I digress.  Back to the spider in its web.

There it was.  There was the spider of all spiders.  One of those black and yellow spiders, at least a quarter in size.  Big body.  L-O-N-G legs.  As icky as icky can be.  And it was there, right in front of the peep, just inches from her face.

Did the peep scream?

You'd think she would scream, wouldn't you?  Yup, you'd think that, for sure. I know I was waiting for the scream and I covered my ears and everything but to my surprise, there was no screaming to be heard.  Not because the peep was brave or anything like that.  Peep #1 didn't scream because she was PETRIFIED.  She just stood there, motionless, without movin' a muscle.

Okay, even I have to admit that was a bit redundant.

But my point is, the peep was peepless.  She was frozen like a block of ice.

Now had she had a block of ice, she could have thrown it at that there spider, but as she had nothin' to throw but her stupid little flashlight, she regained her senses a tad, 'bout a minute later, and slowly backed away.

Having witnessed the event, I took pity upon my peep.  Also, I noticed she was properly clad and not runnin' around the neighbourhood in nothin' but a nightie - THIS TIME - so I figured it was safe to come out, and scampered over to her, being very careful as to avoid that ol' spider's web.

Well the peep was a little shaky.  So shaky she didn't even try to pick me up and believe you me, I was grateful for that.  No need for any extra embarrassing situations.

'Bout an hour later, inside the house, the peep came to her senses completely.  Or at least as best as can be expected.  Unfortunately...

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of mentioning how had the peep walked just a few steps further down the path, she would have had that ol' spider, RIGHT IN HER FACE.

Well you'd have to be there to believe it, my friends.  The words that came out of the peep's mouth. Never knew the peep had 'em in her.  MOUSES!

Apparently, according to the peep, it was all MY fault, for being outside after dark.  After listening to her little hissy fit, I pointed out how VERY FORTUNATE it was that she had been standing still, flashing the neighbourhood with her flashlight, STRAIGHT AHEAD, and not shining it on the ground. I told her how had she been shining the flashlight on the ground, and not into the garden, looking for me, she would have kept on walking and walked right into the web, and gotten that ol' spider, RIGHT IN HER FACE.

Well that did it.

Off on a tirade again, the likes of which I have never before heard.  I wouldn't have been out there in the first place, had I not been looking for you.  I wouldn't have had to look for you, had you come inside when it first started to get dark.  I wouldn't even have been walking down that path, had you come when I first called.

You know, that sort of thing.

So once again I said, "But really, Peepers, aren't you the least bit grateful you were standing still, calling and looking for me, shining the flashlight straight ahead and into the spider's web?  So that you saw the spider?  Knew it was there?  Knew to avoid it?   I mean, you could have had that ol' spider, RIGHT THERE IN YOUR FACE."

Now I wasn't expectin' prezzies or anything - although prezzies would have been gladly accepted - but I think a sincere thank you would have been in order.  But did I get one?  Nope.  Nothin'. Nadda.  It was nadda-wadda-nincompoop, on the thank you front, for sure.  MOUSES!

Well Friday morning, although I wasn't actually speaking to Peep #1 as she had been so rude to me the night before, I nevertheless went outside with her, lookin' for the spider, in the light of day.

Now here's where things get sticky...

No, not in a sticky spider web kind of way, although I would imagine a spider's web of that size would be very sticky, for sure.

But the thing is, when we went out looking for it, the spider was gone.  Spider, web, everything... GONE.  MOUSES!

Now there are three possibilities.  The first is that, that ol' mother ship the peep appeared to be signalling with her stupid little flashlight, did actually land and not findin' the peep, took the spider and its web away.  The second is that a big bird swooped down and ate it.  Crows are big.  There are crows about.  But I always thought crows had better taste than that.  And finally...

Well finally, option three is the option I don't wanna really think about.  Could the spider have packed up its web and be hiding somewhere else, lurking about?  Waiting for the peep or one of us cats to wander across its path and....

MOUSES!

I don't even wanna think about that.  I'd much rather have aliens landin' in the backyard, for sure.

So Friday afternoon, the peep went on a bit of a shopping spree.  She now has the biggest, baddest flashlight I have ever, ever seen.  That thing could illuminate the dark side of the moon, which would come in handy if you're lookin' for alien mother ships, hangin' around over there, for sure. MOUSES!

And I, Seville the Cat, have made note of the fact that from now on, if out after dark, I must be careful to not only watch out for nothin'-but-nightie-wearin' peeps with new and improved dark-side-of-the-moon-illuminating flashlights BUT ALSO, spiders.  Not to mention aliens although truth be told, I'm always on the lookout for them. MOUSES!

39 comments:

  1. My Dad is afraid of spiders too and if he got one in the face he would have to immediately change pants MOL!

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    1. Oh my mouses! Now THAT would have been SUPER embarrassing, for sure! purrs

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  2. I think that maybe your human scared the spider and she decided to move! After all, how would YOU feel to have a huge human face right in front of you? The spider probably thought your human was going to eat her!

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    1. Had the peep encountered the spider on a night when she was weearin' nothin'-but-a-nightie, that spider would have DEFINITELY fled for the hills. I hear they have eight eyes or somethin'. IMAGINE seein' a nothin-but-nightie-wearin' peep with all those eyes... MOUSES!

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  3. Seville, I wish you could read the blog mom wrote back in 2004 or thereabout bout HER encounter of the worst kind.

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    1. Aliens or spiders? Spiders or aliens? Inquirin' minds wanna know. purrs

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  4. Those big black and yellow ones is something else! My Mommy has had to rehome several in years past as my Daddy was like Brian's Daddy and screams like a little girl when encountering spiders. My Mommy is strange...she thinks spiders is cute!!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. She rehomed 'em? They have rescues for spiders? MOUSES!

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  5. With a flashlight like that, at least peep #1 will be able to beat to death any spider that might cross your paths. MOUSES! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    1. Yup, she is on guard now, for sure. MOUSES!

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  6. I don't know what is scarier, the actual spider or the fact that it was gone the next day, web and all. Either way, the peep could have given you a nip toy to thank you.

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    1. She sure could have! I mean.. a nip toy prezzie would have been extremely thoughtful, for sure. purrs

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  7. All I can say is eeeeeeeek!
    Have super Sunday...

    Noodle and crew

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    1. You speak the same language as my peep. MOUSES!

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  8. I always thank the kitty gods when my peep goes peep-less. All that "blah, blah, blah"ing gets on your nerves after awhile!
    My Momma doesn't mind spiders, but we have these spiders called Brown Recluses whose bites are supposed to be even worse than Black Widows ... and with my proclivity to rip the legs off spiders one by one, she's afraid I'll mess with the wrong spider so she just kills them all indiscriminately. Humans.

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    1. I'm not sure if we have any spiders like that 'round here. I kinda think ours are just scary. ESPECIALLY for peeps. purrs

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  9. Oh my word, that spider sounds way worse than the ones I have resident at the Palace. Mine are usually well behaved and don't go bothering my peep who is a wuss. I like the idea of the big flash light maybe that will blind all onlookers so they DON'T see the nightie! purrs ERin

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    1. Hehehehee... Either that or the flashlight will point the nighties out. purrs

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  10. I think my Mom would prefer an alien over a spider....those big black and yellow ones are ICKY! (spiders I mean - everyone knows aliens are GREEN).

    Love, Sammy

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    1. It's true! Aliens ARE green, 'cept for the grey ones, of course. purrs

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  11. Claire is afraid of big spiders, and you would have heard yelling from here to Canada, for sure ! Maybe the spider was afraid to meet your peep face-to-face, so close ? Purrs

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    1. I don't know... Could be... The peep can be pretty scary, for sure. MOUSES!

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  12. Oh, that was quite exhausting! Our #1 is not that afraid of spiders but in the dark and in your face is not the greatest combo, is it?

    Purrs,
    The Chans

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    1. And if it weren't for me, she would have had that spider RIGHT IN HER FACE, for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. My peep would have screamed the place down. she doesn't even like tiny little money spiders, probably because they never bring her money. We get big black spiders here that fall in the bath and wait for her. I used to get them for her when I was younger, but now dad has to deal with them.

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    1. You have spiders who have money? I never knew that 'bout spiders at all. MOUSES!

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  14. OMC We hate spiders. They are disgustin'. And we's always wondered just where they go too. Ya' know sometimes web and all are just gone. Where? Why? (shudders) We just don't even like to think 'bout it. Y'all be careful.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. I know! At least when you know where they are, YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! You know? MOUSES!

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  15. That is quite the creepy tale you told. I wonder where that spider packed up and hauled off to. I hope you and #1 never have to find out!

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    1. Me too but... If we do... And if the peep should happen to embarrass herself again... I'M BE SURE TO BLOG ABOUT IT, FOR SURE. purrs

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  16. We're not big fans of spiders, either, Sivvers. Especially those big and bad ones! MOUSES!

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    1. And this one was as big and as bad as all get out. MOUSES!

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  17. I don't like spider! But I don't scare of mouse. Maybe I get used to it when my cats always give me mouse as a present.

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    1. I like mice, too! Even the peep likes mice. She's always tellin' us not to hurt 'em although truth be told, we've pretty much moused the whole place out. purrs

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  18. Mom L just about leaps outta her skin when a spider of any size shows up. She is not a fan of catch and release when it comes to spiders

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    1. When they're as big as those black and yellow monsters, you wouldn't want to kill 'em. I can't imagine the icky and grossness factors on that. MOUSES!

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  19. I think your peep is very special. And your post is really exciting. Thanks for sharing!

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I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...