Sunday, 15 March 2015

catnip and fairy dust

Nissy sauntered into the kitchen to find his brother up on the table.  With a mug of nip beer in one paw, Seville was studying various equations he had written down on his board. Scattered about the room were various books, pencils, a calculator and a couple of St. Patrick's Day inspired hats.

"Whatcha up to, bro?" asked Nissy.  "You workin' on some teleportation physics equations or somethin'?

"Actually, no," answered Seville, sounding somewhat distracted.  "These are chemical equations, Niss."

"Really?"  Nerissa looked at Seville's board and then glanced over at the kitchen counter.  Seville had obviously been using several of the peep's mixing bowls along with a wooden spoon and a couple of spatulas.  Nissy hopped up onto the counter to inspect them and found bits of sticky goop in the bowls and on the counter.  "Looks more like cookin' to me, Sivvers," he said.

"Cooking, chemistry...  All one in the same, Niss."

"Well whether your cookin' or performin' chemistry experiments, you had best wash this stuff up.  Ol' Peepers is not gonna be pleased when she finds this mess you've made and that's a fact, for sure. She's gonna freak."

 Nissy lifted a paw and sniffed at the green, sticky goop he had accidentally stepped in.  "Hmmm...  Seville, this here goop smells like milk.  Whatcha makin'?"

"Breath mints," answered Seville.  "Feline catnip-flavoured breath mints."

"Interestin'..."  and Nissy sniffed the goop again.  "Nip breath mints for cats.  Seville, you're a genius!  A genius in disguise but a genius nonetheless.  Why didn't I think of this?  And what exactly made you think of inventing 'em?"

"No offence Niss but lately you've had a bad case of tuna breath.  I heard Peep #1 mention it the other day."

"There's NOTHIN' wrong with havin' a little tuna on your breath," exclaimed Nerissa with indignation.  "Nothin' wrong with that at all.  Happens after you eat the tuna."

"Yeah, well it smells fishy to me," exclaimed Seville.

"That's 'cause tuna is fish!  Mouses, Sivvers.  If you're gonna start cookin' and whatnot, you've gotta know your ingredients.  Besides, you like tuna, too."

"But I also like nip," began Seville, "and I'm thinkin' that a catnip-flavoured breath mint is the perfect thing to follow a plate of tuna.  Havin' some issues with the equations though."

"Equations or recipes?" asked Nerissa.

"Same diff, Niss.  Bottom line is, my mints aren't nippy enough.  Do you think you could help me out?"

Nerissa jumped down from the counter.  Heading over to the table where Seville was working on his equations, he stopped dead in his tracks.  There on the floor sat two large clay pots filled with shamrocks.  "Uh Seville, are these what you're using to make your mints?"  Nissy pawed at something flitting about his ear.  It was tickling his whiskers.  Growing annoyed, he pawed at it again.  "And what's this fairy doin' over here?"

"Oh her?  That's Aoife.  She came with the plants."

Nissy rolled his eyes. "Of course she did. Whatever was I thinkin'?  Why else would a little green fairy appear in our kitchen? Silly me..."

"Enough with the chatter, Niss.  I need some help over here.  How can I get more nip in my breath mints?"

"Well for starters," and Niss picked one of the shamrocks from a pot. "These here plants aren't nip.  They're clovers. MOUSES!"

Seville stared at his brother.  "Do you think I don't know that?"  He hopped down onto the floor and padded over to Nerissa and the gigantic clover plants.  "You ever try to order nip plants in March? No one sells them.  Everyone wants to sell you clovers.  Shamrocks this and shamrocks that. Everyone is trying to cash in on the whole St. Patrick's Day experience and there's nothing to be found but clovers!  So I figured I'd order up some gigantic ones and just make do."

Nerissa threw his front paws up in the air.  "But..  Seville...  But..."  He was at a loss for words.

"I know what you're thinking, Niss.  You're thinking, clovers aren't nip."

Nerissa continued to stare at his brother, his eyes growing wider.

"Well you might have a point there but hear me out.  Clovers are green.  Catnip is green.  Clovers are a popular food with cows and cows produce milk and milk contains cream and cats like cream. Plus, with every order of two plants or more, they were throwin' in a free fairy.  You did meet Aoife, right?  She has magical fairy dust," Seville added in a whisper.  "I think that's why these plants have grown so large."

"Well maybe she can use some of that magic fairy dust to turn these shamrock plants into nip!" Nerissa cried.  "For mousin' out loud, Sivvers, these here plants are your whole problem.  You can't make nip mints without the nip.  You need nip!"

Nerissa turned to leave in disgust.  "And I'm takin' back that comment I made about your bein' a genius, Seville," he added.  "Any genius would know that clovers aren't nippy.  MOUSES!"

"And what if I were to tell you that I have some essential nip oil?" Seville cried out.  "Some nip oil to add to my mints."

Nissy swung around.  "Now you're talkin', Sivvers.  That's a totally different story.  You have nip oil?"

"Uh, no," and Seville pawed at a recipe book sitting on the floor.  "I said what if I were to tell you.." his voice trailing off.

Nerissa rolled his eyes and let out a big sigh.  "Okay, Seville.  You are my brother and I do love you so I'll see if we can figure somethin' out.  Maybe you can use the shamrocks to make the base of your mints and then if we can get our paws on some nip oil..."

"I knew you could figure it out, Niss!  I knew that if anyone could, it would be you.  So I have my clover base.  Tastes kinda milky like you noticed.  That's due to the whole clover-cow-cream connection.  Now to add some nippiness to the milky goodness that is the sticky goop."

"Speakin' of that, Sivvers, we need to work on the texture of your mints, too.  I don't think breath mints are supposed to be sticky or goopy.  They're not supposed to stick to your paws when you eat 'em."

"You might have a point there, Niss.  But first things first.  Put on your thinking cap," and Seville handed his brother a leprechaun hat to wear, "and let's get started on making some nip oil.  Do you think we need nip to make that?"

"Yes, Seville, I think we do but perhaps Aoife can help us out with that. You said the fairy was magic? Oh Aoife...  Come on over here.  Let's see if some of that magic fairy dust of yours can turn some vegetable oil into the essence of nip.  Now how do we do this?  Do I need to make a wish?"

And with that, the boys started working on their next great invention, Catnip-Flavoured Breath Mints for cats.

        HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO ALL!!


57 comments:

  1. Can I put my order in now?

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    1. You bet! As soon as we figure out how to make the nip oil and get rid of this goopy texture, we'll send you some nip mints, for sure. purrs

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  2. Me too would like to put my order in right away :)

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    1. You bet! Looks like these nip mints are gonna be popular, for sure! purrs

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  3. Hahaha! "Feline catnip-flavoured breath mints" with shamrock gloopy wotnot !! Works for me!!

    BTW Mum and I loved reading your story in Rescued - we won a copy from Brian - it was great and we will blog about it soon :)

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    1. What a lovely thing to say. Thank you! My rescue's month is next month, April, so I'll be bloggin' more about the book then. purrs

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  4. Me three!
    Maybe the folks making marywanna oil could help out with the nip oil production………..

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    1. Hmmm... Interestin' though. Very interestin', indeed! purrs

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  5. What a cute posty. Good luck wiff yous nip bweff mints. Mommy sez ifin yous succeed, weez'll buy sum. Sissy dusn't hav da bestest bweff wound eevew. MOL And we don't know ifin yous know or not, but Priscilla's sells gwo yous own an ifin yous sign up fur their emails, yous get 50% off yous furst order wiff furee shppin'. http://www.priscillaspetproducts.com/shop/product/400-502.html Hope y'all hav a pawsumly blest Sunday.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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    1. Interestin'. Thanks so much for the information! purrs

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  6. Where's the Buy It Now button?

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. Tryin' to install it now. Gosh I need better IT support. MOUSES! purrs

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  7. With it being saint me day as Pat likes to call it, we should be getting enough free nip to pass around to the entire cat nation

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    1. You have your own day? And you're gonna celebrate it with nip? EXCELLENT. purrs

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  8. Now that's gotta be the next big thing pal!!!

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    1. Yup. Way better than sliced bread. purrs

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  9. Replies
    1. Hope you had a great St. Patrick's Day, too. purrs

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  10. Hey Nerissa, wes would LOVES Catnip flavored breath mints! Does yous think yous would trade some for Garlic Powder? Mommy's been maining it non-stop before all the garlic starts growing!!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. Garlic powder? MOUSES! You're gonna need the mints after that, for sure. purrs

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  11. Those sound DELICIOUS! You are BOTH geniuses. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help!

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  12. Oh, we SO want to put our order in, too! You kitties are brilliant!

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    1. You betcha! You'll be on the list, for sure. purrs

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  13. I LOVE the idea of catnip-flavored breath mints!

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    1. I'm thinkin'.... BEST FLAVOUR EVER. purrs

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  14. Wow Nip bear sounds fab, Nip fresheners would be awesome too especially after a smelly camembert! Nip flavored Camembert could work? Peep says if you distill Nip its the best ever mosquito deterrent too, fresh breath & no mosquitos. purrs

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    1. Cheese on nip pizza is delish. Bet that cheese could be Camembert, for sure. purrs

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  15. Brilliant idea! Nip-flavored breath mints (and while you're at it - why not make some for humans too!)..........seems like a good idea to me. As for the human angle, I'd much prefer that aroma issuing forth from Mom's mouth when she gives me a kissy face than coffee or garlic or something like that!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. Nip breath mints for peeps... BRILLIANT! That's a whole new market, for sure. purrs

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  16. You are amazing with all these inventions. Good luck!

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    1. I LOVE inventin' stuff. Sometimes words and sometimes things. Inventin' is fun, for sure. purrs

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  17. Hehehe,this sounds quite tasty Nissy ,good luck with the recipe my friend,mum said if you need any tips give her a shout,xx Speedy

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  18. Looks like you have a great product planned- we want to purchase some too :)

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    1. You betcha! You're on my list, for sure. purrs

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  19. only Seville would think of such a thing and only Nissy would be terrorized by learning that catnip flavored breath mints for cats contain NO nip

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    1. My nip breath mints WILL contain the nip. That was the flaw in Sivver's recipe, I think. purrs

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  20. Nip oil ? We would love to order some of your nip products ! Purrs

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    1. Yeah, I should sell the nip oil, too! BRILLIANT idea, for sure. purrs

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  21. *raises paw* Where to we order, again????

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    1. Soon as I get better IT support to install the order button.. Hmmm... Might be a while yet. All I've got is the peep and really, she's not very good. purrs

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  22. We want in on this great invention of you all. What a great St. Patrick's story. We liked that a lot. So get busy now and get that Nip oil going.

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    1. We've added the fairy dust to the vegetable oil and are waitin' for it to turn into nip. purrs

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  23. Did we hear that the nip mints will be ready soon - can we place an order please?
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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    1. You bet! Got you down on the list, for sure. purrs

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  24. Replies
    1. Will do! You have a good St. Patrick's Day? purrs

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  25. Count us in for an order. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

    Truffle and Brulee

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    1. Got you on my list! Wonderful. purrs

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  26. Sign us up for an order of those! Mom bean says she can hardy wait.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. She's gonna have 'em too? EXCELLENT. purrs

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  27. Hope you had a fabulous St. Patty's Day!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. We did! St. Patrick's Day was lots of fun. Hope you had a good one, too. purrs

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  28. Catnip-Flavoured Breath Mints, nip oil, plant fairies...you two are onto something big! Awesome post, hope you had a fun St. Paddy's, kitties!

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