Wednesday, 14 May 2014

spies are everywhere

Did you hear?  Did you hear 'bout how the Canadian government has been spyin' on us kitties on Facebook?

It's true.  Just last week, the Federal Privacy Watchdog announced that the Government of Canada has been spyin' on us kitties   They've been readin' our statuses and whatnot and takin' notes.

And why a privacy watchdog, anyway? Why not a cat?  But I digress...

Actually, I would imagine that they're not restricting themselves to just the kitties.  There are a lot of dogs and bunnies on Facebook, too.  Maybe even some ferrets and pigs.  MOUSES!  Are there mice?  Could be.  Once heard tell of a squirrel on Twitter.

But you've gotta wonder just why they're spyin' on us kitties in the first place.  What do they want to learn?

They'll be very interested in learnin' more about my research into egg beater-whisk time travelling-teleporation technology, of course.  Everyone wants to know more 'bout that.  And then there's my work with the FBI...  You know, the Feline Bureau of Investigation.  Haven't had any cases lately but...  Hmmm...  Actually, I've never been assigned a case with the FBI.  MOUSES!

Truth be told, I'd be more than happy to enlighten the government peeps on my daily activities.  All they need do is ask.  Perhaps they're intimidated by the cuteness and intelligence of the general cat population.  Perhaps that's why they feel the need to spy on us rather than just askin' some questions.

And one has to wonder about the validity of the information they're gathering.  Especially when they're gatherin' information 'bout peeps.  My limited experience with peeps has been that some of 'em have a tendency to lie.  Actually, some of 'em have made lyin' a career!  Who's to say that what they're puttin' in their statuses is true?  I know that all of my friends out there always write the truth on their statuses but that's 'cause I've got honest friends.  Not everyone is equally as truthful.

One must also take into account the differences between statuses written by cats and peeps.

Do they even know how many of us are cats?  MOUSES!

You know, we cats write about totally different stuff from peeps. TOTALLY.  And if the government spies don't know it's a cat writing the status, they're bound to get confused and whatnot. Their findings are gonna be all messed up.

For example, when I mention that I'm a member of the FBI, anyone with a modicum of sense would realise that - obviously - I mean the FELINE Bureau of Investigation.  Clearly, that's the FBI to which cats belong.  But what if the government peeps get confused and think I've started workin' for the American government?  I can just hear the conversation now.  Prime Minister Harper calls up President Obama to ask, "Hey there! Tell me...  You really hirin' cats for the FBI now?"   MOUSES!

Or what about when I write about grass?  A lot of us cats enjoy munchin' on a blade of fresh green grass every now and then.  When we write 'bout stuff like that on our statuses, we're talkin' about grass growin' in the lawn or in the garden 'cause our peeps have been neglectful with their weedin' duties or sometimes, little pots of cat grass that a peep bought for us at the pet store.  WE'RE NOT TALKIN' ABOUT POT!  Okay, we might be talkin' about the flower pot in which we're growin' the grass but the actual grass really is actually grass.  Again I say...  MOUSES!

Peep #1 was noticin' a lot of ads on her Facebook timeline for legalised marijuana for a while there which she found odd 'cause she has never ever, EVER smoked it or eaten it or anythin' else like that.  Nope.  Not even once.  She's a bit naive when it comes to stuff like that.  I had to take her aside and explain how it likely had somethin' to do with all of my posts about nip and cat grass and whatnot.  You see how spyin' can get confusin' if one does not know upon which species one is spying?

And then there's the nip...

A lot of us cats post a lot of stuff about the nip.  So much, in fact, that I keep expectin' to hear some sort of announcement from the Canadian government that they're gonna look into the legalisation of the nip.  Oh yeah...  nip already IS legal.  Silly me.  Or maybe they're gonna try to apply sin taxes to catnip and start sellin' it at the liquor stores.  If they do that, I'll have to get myself some photo ID or somethin' so that I can prove my age when buyin' the nip.  And by the way, there's NOTHIN' sinful 'bout a cat enjoyin' a little nip.  Sin taxes...  MOUSES!

When Peep #1 heard about all this spyin' and whatnot, she was livid.  Not 'cause she and I have anything to hide but rather, she was annoyed that the government peeps would rather spy on me on Facebook than read my blog.  Kind of rude, if you ask me.

Everythin' anyone needs to know 'bout me can be found right here on my blog.  My adventures, my love of the nip, the stupid stuff my peeps do, my bionic knee...  It's all there.  It's all there for the readin'.

The bottom line is this.  If the Government of Canada wants to spy on me on Facebook, they're welcome to it.  It's not like I can stop 'em or anything but....

But if they're gonna spy on me they had darned well better LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE and FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER and READ MY BLOG while they're at it. Anything less would be rude and inconsiderate and a myriad of other things which I could list here but there are so many things it would take far too long and actually, since this is turnin' out to be one of my shorter blog posts, I'm not gonna list the whole list although, true to form, I have included one or two of my trademark run-on sentences 'cause you know...  I wouldn't wanna let anybody down.

'Nough said.  MOUSES!

38 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. My pleasure! I checked out your website and my gosh... you know a LOT about spies, yourself. purrs

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  2. dood....we due knot haz a face book a count on a count of we dunno why but we dont... ..... seer ee iz lee iz they spyin on "cats" pages ???

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  3. It's the five eyes monster, maybe we can build an alliance to fight it.

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  4. They know that we cats are the smartest . . .

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  5. I'm with you Nissy. You'll have to keep us updated on this one. Maybe it's time to haul out the FelineFBI and get them on the case.

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  6. Dang pal, that spying stuff is just normal over here!

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  7. Really and truly Nissy? Are you pulling our paws?

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    1. Not at all! I heard 'bout this on the news. The Government of Canada has been spyin' on us, usin' Facebook and since a whole lot of us Facebook users are kitties... KITTIES ARE GETTIN' SPIED UPON! purrs

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  8. The government are simply ( 'simply' being the operative word *wink*) trying to figure out our superior intellect and viability for world domination. It's the government...they'll NEVER work it out.
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxxx

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  9. Nissy, can we see your FBI badge?
    Well, at least the government is being well entertained here.
    xxoo

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    1. Sure! It's right there on the sidebar on my blog. Hmmm... I really should put a larger one on my extra-curriculars page, too. purrs

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  10. Nissy
    Anything ever said in any fashion on any sight is stored in some super computer somewhere. Just hope that those *NsA* types enjoy reading the daily ruminations from a cat's perspective. Hey maybe they can learn something?

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  11. MOL! Well, down here in da USA dey spy on most everyfing, so it makes since dey'd spy on us too - after all, we's more interesting dan da peeps!

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  12. Darn spies!!!! How dare they! You better be careful Niss! They might wanna get their hands on that time machine of yours!!!!! Watch your back!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  13. You know, maybe there was a reason TSA searched my human's luggage on the way back from BlogPaws....

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  14. The government spies on everyone here in the U.S. too. I'm sure that they have pulled together some very interesting information about me and my kitties MOL . By now they will have realized the Cinco and Manna moonlight as superheros - the Revengers! I'm sure that your government has learned that you are a very pawsome cat Nerissa.

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  15. I think the Russians are busy spying on us kitties too. Thay have viewed my blog 511 times!

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  16. We think it is so silly they are spying on us this way, but if they have nothing better to do, let them!

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  17. You's kiddin' wight?? Wees got nuffin tu hide and nope wees kuldn't stop 'em ifin wees wanted tu, BUT wees don't like anypawdy tu spy on us!!!! Wees wuld much waddew yous just ask us questions tu ow faces. Or at least in ow email. MOL Maybe dat's whay we's havin' so much twubble on da facebook lately.

    Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥

    Dezi

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  18. They just want to know everything that cats know. They can't handle the truth, though! :)

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  19. You know; they only spy on the handsomest, most popular kitties on the internet!!!! So, congrats for making the big time and being spy-worthy.

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  20. We think they try to learn how to be as awesome as we cats are : good luck... Purrs

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  21. Sounds like the GOG (Good Ol Govt) above the lakes is following the GOG below the lakes.(Which includes below the Rio Grande of course)
    How Grande!
    Maybe they will finally learn something
    Purrs
    Timmy

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  22. Hmm, maybe they should start spying on me. I'd give them lots of entertainment.

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  23. I think they should also send you a tuna subsidy. It's only right.

    Thank you so much for stopping by our blog and sending me good thoughts while I was sick - it meant a lot to us. I'm back home now and feeling much better :)

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  24. Srsly???? Spying on cats' FB pages? THey have nothing else to spend time on...like running countries, provinces, etc...will wonders never cease

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  25. Who would have thought it eh? Well, I hope they have been entertained by what they've read.

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  26. Governments are always spying on us one way or another,good work Nissy,xx Speedy

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  27. Geez Louise... they sure do have a lot of free time on their hands it seems... Us kitties have nothing to hide... except the lizard we just caught. Oh no! Hope the government doesn't come after us!

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  28. We all know that most Gov't officials are WAY out of touch with reality so not surprised at all here! Sadly they are that foolish, but hopefully the ones checking your site have had a good smile or two :)

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  29. Well, they must be on to us... and our plans.... to take over the world and make humans our servants! Oh wait... we have done it already! And it's no secret..

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  30. Wellcome to da Canadian Governmint who iz a bit confused....okayz ALOT confused!! Siriuslee dey need to get da factz strait but do nott hold yer breath Nerissa...seemz dey haz nuffin bettur to do butt snoop on da FB. Did ya hear last yeer when FB said dey wuud take off all 4 legged profilex because da Peepz are inpurrsonatin us!?!?!?! What da Kat iz wrong wif dem?
    Mum will nott let me make an FB page 'cause she doez not feel it wuud be safe fer me so she let'z me 'hi-jack' her Page fer updatez n me cutte pix...Mouseiez me shuud not say 'hi-jack' or else da Governmint peepz will surround me place n take Mum away ;)
    Lub yer bloggie n hopez ya hz a guud Vicki-toria Day too!
    Yer furendz Nylablue n Sherriellen Mum too xoxoxo

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  31. Mouses! If your gvt is spying on you, what if our gvt is spying on us? Oh, dear, what will they think with such posts as, Marcus almost took out Jan? They'll think we're hired assassins. Oh, dear, oh, dear, what shall we do?

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  32. Oh that is disturbing about our gov't for sure! But you gave us some good chuckles Nissy with your post, loved it! We definitely thinks the gov't should follow you on twitter!

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  33. I think this is a serious case for the FBI, Nissy. We'd better get on to it soonest. Anyway we do have the cat's eyes!! :)

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  34. Whew...glad we don't live in Canada or have a Facebook account. We don't want anybody spying on us and discovering all our secrets and stuff like where we hide it when we hurl! XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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