Anybody know a four-letter word for ingrate? I know one. PEEP!
Let me explain...
A few days ago, Ol' Peepers was out in the garden, unsupervised. I know. Never a good thing but I had some power nappin' to do. I needed to catch up on some naps on account of my havin' missed some of 'em with all the hard work I had been puttin' into my blogging.
Anywho... the peep was potting up some strawberry plants and I figured she could do that on her own. I mean, just how difficult is it to take the plants from the smaller pots and replant them into the bigger ones? How can you go wrong with somethin' as simple as that? Little did I know...
Apparently, there were some dead outer leaves on many of the strawberry plants and Peepers wanted to snip them all away. So snip, snip, snip she went until... until she got a little to close to one of her fingers with those secateurs and... SNIP! Yup, right through the skin. There was blood everywhere.
Don't worry! The peep still has all of her fingers. She'll survive. In fact, the wound has almost completely healed up already but there really was blood everywhere. She made a right ol' bloody mess, she did. MOUSES!
She said it hurt, too. She said it hurt a lot but I'm not sure how much I believe her 'bout that 'cause although she made quite a bit of fuss, she wasn't really nearly as fussy as some of us cats have been known to be at the doctor's office. I kind of think she was exaggerating a little bit.
But exaggerating or not and even though she did wake me up from my power nappin' session, I felt a little guilty for havin' allowed Peep #1 to be out there in the garden all alone, unsupervised, in the first place. She really does need constant supervision and this little incident is clearly evidence of that fact.
So as I was feelin' guilty, I decided to give the peep a little prezzie. You know... to make her feel better and whatnot.
I searched and I searched and I searched for the perfect prezzie for the peep and finally, I found it. I trotted right up to Ol' Peepers, gently carrying her prezzie in my mouth. I set down in front of her, waitin' for her to thank me and maybe even tell me how thoughtful I was for thinkin' of her and bringing her such a wonderful gift.
Well the peep took one look at that snake hangin' from my mouth and told me to let it go. "LET IT GO? You know how long it took me to find the darned thing in the first place?" I cried.
That, of course, was my mistake 'cause when I opened my mouth to express my frustration with the peep's lack of gratitude, the snake dropped to the ground and slithered away. I tried to catch it again but it got in amongst some plant pots and if you could believe it, the peep picked me up and took me away from them to allow the snake to escape. MOUSES!
I decided that the peep must be a little delusional or somethin' on account of havin' lost all that blood when she snipped her finger. She simply wasn't thinkin' straight. So I forgave her and immediately went in search of another snake.
Half an hour later or so, I found one. This was one even bigger than the last. Jackpot! I promptly presented the peep with her new prezzie but this time, was very careful not to open my mouth and let it go until I knew the peep was gonna appreciate my gift to her.
She approached me as I held the snake. I backed away. She approached me again, sayin' somethin' about lettin' the snake go. Clearly, she was still sufferin' from her major blood loss and was not to be trusted in her obviously light-headed condition. I turned and trotted away to the front yard, intent on holdin' onto the snake until the peep had come to her senses.
Of course, bein' a peep, she followed me. Not only did she follow me but eventually she even caught up with me, picked me up and got me to release the snake. Then she took said snake and put it in the brush pile where it would be safe from us cats. MOUSES!
Of all the ungrateful, unappreciative and thankless things to do. Again I say... MOUSES!
Those two snakes I found for the peep were green snakes. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find green snakes hiding in the green grass? Or the green violets? Or the green anything? THEY'RE ALL GREEN for mousin' out loud! They blend right in. Findin' two of 'em in one day was quite the achievement and what does the peep do? SHE RELEASES 'EM BACK INTO THE WILD!
Next time I want to give the peep a prezzie, I'm gonna give her a mouse. Dead. Not alive. One she can't try to save. Perhaps with a little nip sauce served on the side...