the perfect gift

Anybody see that nip mouse I set aside? ANYBODY?

That was what I asked my fur-fam yesterday.  I looked and looked and looked for that nip mouse I had planned to give Peep #1 for Mother's Day.  I looked all over the house.  I looked in every room.  I looked under beds and on top of dressers and eventually, I found it.

Anybody know who slobbered all over that nip mouse I set aside? ANYBODY?

MOUSES!  The peep isn't gonna want a nip mouse that has been all slobbered over.  Sometimes I wonder 'bout my fur-fam.

Hmmm....  Anybody know where I can order some nip plants?  Cheap?  ANYBODY?

The peep likes growin' stuff and what better stuff to grow than catnip?  I mean, is there anything better?  Not likely.  She already has a pot of nip seeds started but they're still teeny-tiny plus, she's growing 'em for us cats.  Ol' Peepers would probably love some fully grown plants that she could use for herself to make nip tea or maybe a tasty little nipped-up salad or somethin' like that but if I was gonna give her nip plants, I was gonna need to get 'em right away.  I was gonna need 'em like... yesterday.

Then I remembered how Seville had mentioned that the peep wasn't into nip like us cats.  Sivvers thought the peep might rather have somethin' unnipped or whatever.

Anybody know if we have any wand toys on paw that we haven't yet destroyed?  ANYBODY?

Clearly, finding a prezzie for the peep for Mother's Day wasn't gonna be as easy as I had originally thought.

Then I thought about her plumeria.  The peep has developed a bit of an unhealthy obsession over her plumeria plants.  You should see how she dotes upon them.  Maybe she'd like a couple more? Would I be enabling her unhealthy obsession if I were to give her some plumie seeds?

I turned on the computer and hacked into the peep's private affairs.  Uh-huh... Uh-huh...  Looked like the peep already had some plumeria seeds on order but there were some she liked that she didn't order.  Hmmm...  I could always order her up a couple more packages of seed.

Nah, she probably doesn't need any more plumies.  To be honest, she already has enough of 'em.  Those plumies have a way of stealin' the very best sunpuddles in the sunroom from right under my paws.  MOUSES!

That's when I realised that none of the peep's plumies are actually blooming.  They're just sittin' there, occupying sunpuddles.  Maybe the peep would like a blooming plumeria plant.  Maybe I could teleport on over to....

No, I decided.  A reconnaissance mission for bloomin' plumies would be an adventure that would have to wait for another day.  Might need Seville's help on that one and he was too busy washin' his tail and whatnot to prepare the teleportation device.

Yarn!  That's always a great prezzie for a peep.  The peep likes playin' with yarn.  In fact, she likes playin' with yarn so much that she never shares her yarn toys with us cats.  It's true.  She complains when we catch the yarn with our paws or when we chase the ends of the knittin' needles as they go clickity-clack, clickity-clack.  Rather mean, if you ask me.

Oh and you should hear how she freaks out when she's knittin' and all of a sudden discovers that one of us has had the yarn in our mouth, makin' it all wet and slobbery but when you think about it, it's really her own fault.  If she gave us our own yarn toys for playin', we wouldn't have to play with hers.

Scratch the yarn idea.  Peep doesn't need yarn toys if she's not gonna play nice and share 'em.

What to do...  What to do...

That's when it came to me.  Suddenly, I knew just what to do regardin' Ol' Peeper's Mother's Day prezzie.  I had come up with the perfect prezzie for the peep, for sure.

For Mother's Day, I decided to give the peep...  ME.  For one day only, I will be the perfect cat.  I will come when she calls me and let her pick me up and cuddle me and give me lots of love.  I will allow her to smother me with kisses and not squirm out of her arms or anythin' like that.  I will let her give me chin tickles and behind-the-ear scritches and even tummy rubs, never complainin' when I have had enough. And in the evenin', when it's time for Sunday night Masterpiece Theatre watchin', I will cuddle up next to her and allow more tummy rubs and chin tickles and whatnot.

Yup, perfect Mother's Day gift if you ask me.  I've even managed to get the other cats on board.  We will all be perfect kitties for the peep on Mother's Day which should be pretty easy 'cause as cats, perfection is what we do best.  You really, REALLY have to agree.