Wednesday, 16 October 2013

not THIS again!

Ol' Peepers has gone and done it again.  That's right...  She has gone and committed herself to another term of caterwaulin'.  If you ask me, she should have herself committed.  Or perhaps I should have her committed.  I'm sure they'd take her.  If they came within' earshot of the caterwaulin', they'd take her for sure.  Or maybe not...  maybe they'd turn and run for the hills.

It's true.  It's absolutely true.  I've known about it for quite some time.  I've known about it since that dark and starless night, five or six weeks ago. 

Shortly after dinner that night, Ol' Peepers grabbed her purse and car keys and headed out the door.  It was a Wednesday and I have learned over the years that havin' Peep #1 go out on a Wednesday evening does not bode well for me.

Suspicious, I ran to the calendar.  Not being tall enough to actually see the calendar, I called over to  my brother Rushton to give me a boost.  Rushton is a very big boy, you see.  As a kitten, when the other cats told him he looked like a lion, he kind of took it to heart and decided he should grow lion-sized.  He hasn't quite made it there, yet, but he's still workin' on it and has come pretty darned close.  I climbed onto Rushie's shoulders and he stood up on his two hind legs.  From there, I could easily see the entire calendar and all that was jotted down upon it. 

On the calendar, I saw two words.  The most dreaded and feared two words in a cat's vocabulary...  Choral Society.  MOUSES!

Of course, the peep had misspelled Choral Society.  I believe it is actually an acronym and therefore should be spelled using all capital letters.  CHORAL is an acronym for Caterwauling Heard Over Rivers and Lakes...  not to mention fields, forests, mountains and valleys.

And oceans!  We mustn't forget the oceans.  I know that when my peep caterwauls full force, the raucous and offensive noise can be heard across the Atlantic.  I know this for a fact.  Once, when Ol' Peepers was practicin' her caterwaulin', we got a call from Scotland Yard.  They thought someone was bein' murdered or somethin'.  Yup, it's true.  You might think that I'm tellin' tall tales but really, I'm not.  My peep's caterwaulin' really is that bad.  But I digress.

Staring at the two words - Choral Society - I reeled back in horror.  I reeled back so far I fell off Rushton's shoulders and landed on my tail.  Ouch.

"NO, NO, NO!" I cried.  "This cannot be.  Not THIS again!"

Now you might wonder why I'm gettin' all hot under the collar about this caterwaulin' business, especially since I don't actually wear a collar under which my fur might get hot..  or ruffled.  You might be thinking that as long as she's leavin' the house to caterwaul, my ears will be safe from the auditory assaults of such magnificent proportions. 

Well think again, my friends.  You see, the actual practises might take place elsewhere but before she goes to practise, she practises.  It's the pre-practise practises that are the worst.  The low grumbly F's and G's are well... well...  well they're not too bad, I suppose.  They're just stupid sounding 'cause they're so grumbly.  Then there's this middle range that can easily be drowned out if one places one's head under a few dozen pillows after donning some high-tech earplugs.  But it's those higher notes.  Those ear-piercing, wall-crumbling and glass-shattering higher notes.  Those higher notes are enough to wake the dead and cause them to wish they were dead again.  Those A's and B's and the horror of the C's.  THE HORROR OF THE C'S!  They're just too much for a kitty to handle.  MOUSES!

And yesterday, my fears all came to life.  My fears of the pre-practise, practise.  Ol' Peepers went into the livin' room where she opened the piano stool and pulled out...  pulled out...  she pulled out... sheet music!  "Have to practise my solo," she happily informed me. 

I ran.  I ran out of the living room and straight downstairs to find something under which I could bury my head.  Turns out, heading down one set of stairs isn't far enough.  I'm thinkin' of building myself a sub-basement.  A sub-basement with an elevator that will take me down a couple more levels to a sub, sub-basement.  I'm thinkin' that might work.  I'm hoping.  I'm praying.

In the meantime, I hear that my dad happily hopped up onto the piano stool to hang out with the peep while she practised practising her caterwauling.  He's such a suck-up.  Either that or he's stone deaf.  I'm kind of thinkin' the latter.  How else could he tolerate it?  MOUSES!
 

44 comments:

  1. Oh dear, that caterwauling does sound dreadful. Humans obviously can't hear as well as kitties, as evidenced by their GATHERING to caterwaul TOGETHER. But Peepers must be some caterwauler if she was chosen for a solo! :)

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    1. I think they must be willin' to let anyone sing a solo. Nothin' else can explain it. I've heard her caterwaul. purrs

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  2. Wednesday must be Caterwauling day....our Mom goes out to Caterwaul that night too. No one would EVER let ours solo though so your's cant be too bad!

    Thanks for the Birthday wishes for our Mom!

    The Florida Furkids

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  3. Don't feel too bad, Nissy. My momFOD plays the accordion... -Crepes.

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  4. Look at it this way, Niss. With your Peep caterwauling -- you always know where she is. Unlike me. My mom so quiet she sneaks out of house & disappears for days.

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  5. OMC ! Human caterwaul sucks already, but with a piano added : we just cannot imagine it ! Poor Nissy ! Purrs

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  6. oh holy Bast!!! why do they torture you??? That is just NOT RIGHT

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  7. LOL! Poor poor Nissy!


    Earplugs, Ragdoll Mommy lol!

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  8. How can you bear to hear that caterwauling day after day - have you tried filling your ears with cotton wool (or better still the humans throat as this must surely deaden the dreadful shrieks they call music). Teleport over here we have made our Mum promise faithfully not to sing within a 20 miles radius of home.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  9. Nissy, you are one sadly abused kitty. Maybe you could slip something in your mom's food to keep her from doing her pre-practice practice. Maybe some kind of knock-out drops. We are lucky. Our mom won't sing 'cause it embarrasses her when everyone tells her how bad she is. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  10. MOUSES there would be real caterwauling if you heard me sing ;-)

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  11. Mummy was going to go to a CHOIR place until Sydney got diabetes.HELLO!!! CHOIR place starts at the same time Sydney has her injection...and the CHOIR place is an hour's drive away! HA! We got out of that one.Now,you have to decide which one of you will 'take one for the team' and get diabetes.
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxxx

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  12. Sorry you have to put up with all that caterwauling, Nerissa! Perhaps I should send you a pair of earplugs?

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  13. Yikes! Wanna teleport over here? Surely her caterwauling can't be heard here?

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  14. My human took singing lessons some 20 years ago and used to practice at home. The cat BEFORE the cat before me was subjected to it, and being half Siamese, complained very loudly. At first my human thought he was joining in, then eventually she realized she was probably making his ears hurt.

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  15. You don't like your mom's singing? We love when our mom sings, especially when she sings TO us! She needs to sing a song about you instead!

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  16. Oh Nissy!! I so understand. We have the exact same thing here except none of the peeps go anywhere else to caterwaul! They do it HERE!!!! They have two keyboards and guitar and not only that other peeps come and join in!! It is horrific. Buddy I weep for us poor moggies! Mouses!!!! xx

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  17. Oh stinky litter! The things a cat has to put up with!

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  18. guys...R food serviss purrrson couldna carry a toon if her had a baskit ta put em in...want we shuld send a boat over N pick everee one up...ya can hide out heer in TT til lessonz iz done !!

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  19. Ha, ha you kitties are funny! I like it when my Human sings to me...but her dance steps I can do without! (Thanks for your sweet comment about my sister Dellilah, yes she is beautiful, we agree.)

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  20. Do they make ear plugs for kitties ?
    Maybe next time she says she has to practise,
    you can grab a BIG cork and put it in her mouth ;) heehee
    Well, maybe stick with the ear plugs :/
    Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
    Treasure,Tiger, JJ and Julie

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  21. Well pal, you could ask her to sing a solo...so low you can't here it MOL,

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  22. My hoomin can play the pianer. :)

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  23. ummmm Nissy, maybe be purrrleased she doesn't pre, pre, pre practice all week long...you might need ear plugs then

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  24. Fortunately our Lady doesn't sing too much, but she loves to sing at us, which is horrible. Maybe your lady will lose her voice! Lee and Phod

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  25. Me is so furry happy that our humans can not carry tunes in wet paper bags!...though they does sometimes CATERWAUL in the box that moves!!!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  26. how about some ear plugs Nissy that might help,xx Speedy

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  27. How you put up with them both?!! You really are a saint!

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  28. BOL no way would I allow my human to caterwaul it would be too painful. No way NEVER. Happy caterwauling to your peeps. Have a tremendous Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  29. Mamma uses ear plugs for snoring Daddy. I could sneak some over!

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  30. Ah yes, everyone needs a Rushton around. Now, on the subject of the high Cs! C is a very sacral chakra note Nissy and should be treated with the welcoming respect that money, work and all things family and relationship wise deserve! I'm sure peepers is just trying to connect with you on a very fundamental level!

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    1. Hmmm... I suppose that Ol' Peepers' high C 'could' bring wealth or somethin'. I'm POSITIVE that there are peeps out there who would pay her to STOP makin' that noise! purrs

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  31. I think I would hide and cover my ears too. Sounds awful.
    Sue B

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  32. Você está com um grande problema! Quando os humanos começam a cantar eles não querem mais parar, lamento amigo, é bom você conseguir um tampão hehehe.

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  33. Oh, Nissy! We know EXACTLY how you feel! Our Mummy goes out caterwauling Sundays AND Wednesdays! And She does a LOT of practicing at home too! Although She's actually quite a good caterwauler and sometimes gets a So Low (or a So High, to put it more purr-cisely). She can actually sing a high F - but She says She's never likely to need it, as nobody is going to offer her the role of Queen of the Night. She has a recording on MewTube of her and a friend singing the Cat Duet by someone called Signor Rossini. Sometimes She sings it to Us, as a kind of lullaby.

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    1. You must NEVER speak of the existence of the high F to my peep. My ears simply could not handle it. purrs

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  34. Yums, sheet music! *nom nom nom* Just sayin'... Hope you have a quiet weekend. Purrs....

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  35. How about a nice, new set of earplugs (or maybe SEVERAL sets since you're not the only one exposed to the caterwauling thing!!).

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

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  36. Sounds wonderful for her! I torture my cats daily with my own caterwalin... hmm, maybe that's why they're rarely seen in the house during the day? But I can't help myself. Stuff your ears with fluff, or disappear for a while as mine do.

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