Sunday, 13 October 2013

a wild goose chase

A few weeks ago, the second peep heard a news story on the radio.  Firstly, however, I should tell you that the second peep is just about the most unreliable source for news that there ever was.  In fact, peep #2 is so unreliable for news that the unreliability is actually reliable.  I mean...  one might say that if the second peep says one thing, the truth is bound to be the opposite.   That's how reliably unreliable that ol' second peep is.  MOUSES!

Anywho...  peep #2 came downstairs one mornin' all agitated 'bout a whole bunch of peeps gettin' lost in a corn maze overnight.  The next mornin', the farmer noticed fifty, sixty, seventy cars in the parkin' lot and realised there were peeps lost in the maze!  He hopped in his...  his...  his farm doohickey farmin' equipment tractor kind of thing and cut himself a path through that maze straight to its centre where he found all the peeps huddled together.  They had been there all night.

Now, I overheard this conversation between my two peeps and thought...  MOUSES!  I've got myself a blog post in this here ol' mess.

There were so many questions to be asked.  Where was this maze?  How big was this maze?  How cold was the night?  And, of course, why the mouses did the farmer not notice all those cars in the maze's parkin' lot when he went home for the night the day before?  That last one would be a very excellent question, for sure.

I grabbed myself a hot mug of nip cider - my new invention - and headed for the computer.  I had work to do.  Information to find.  A story to write.

Now, I know for a fact that peep #2 quite likes to listen to CBC Radio at night so I started there.  I typed in corn maze and CBC and immediately found my answers.  I found all my answers.  All the answers a cat could possibly need.  In fact, I found a few more answers than I wanted.  Answer number one was the fact that the second peep is a mousin' lunatic!  MOUSES!

Once again, the second peep had led me on a wild goose chase and this time that goose was chasing me through a field of corn.

There was no maze.  There was no farmer.  There were no lost peeps.  It was all a made-up story from a CBC comedy radio show called This is That.  MOUSES!

I sat there at my desk and stared at the computer screen.  I could hardly believe my eyes.  Tricked by the peep's reliable unreliability once again.  Yes...  AGAIN.  You see, it wasn't that long ago when I thought I had another newsworthy topic for a blog post that also turned out to be that ol' second peep bein' fooled by a This is That comedy radio broadcast.  Mouses indeed.

I hopped down from my chair and spun in circles while I chased my tail.  Not catching it, I stomped into the kitchen.  "Peep!" I cried.  "You've got some explainin' to do."

"But it could happen," whined the second peep.  "It almost happened to us a few years ago.  Really it did."

I glared at the second peep.  What was this?  Was the peep tryin' to pull the wool over my whiskers with even more tomfoolery? 

"Honestly, it did.  A few years ago," began the peep, "your first peep and I went to a corn maze and got terribly lost in it.  Eventually, when we did find our way out, the people running the maze were leaving for the day.  We made it out in the nick of time.  Had we not escaped, we might very well have been left in that maze overnight.  We were really lost.  It was pretty worrisome."

Hmmm...  I thought.  Do I believe any of this or is it just more nonsense?  I asked the first peep if she could verify peep #2's statement and lo and behold, she could.  MOUSES!

So I had my story after all.  CORN MAZES ARE DANGEROUS TO THE HEALTH OF PEEPS!  Especially peeps like mine who clearly have no sense of direction.  Peeps, bein' peeps, can in fact get lost in a corn maze.  Who knows how many peeps have been lost to corn mazes across this country?  It's a big country.  There are a lot of corn mazes.  And to make matters worse, there appear to be no statistics on corn maze related peep losses.  A cover-up?  A conspiracy?  Inquirin' minds are gonna wanna know!

This is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and I bet there are peeps visiting corn mazes from coast to coast and sea to sea.  I bet there are peeps gettin' lost in corn mazes from coast to coast and sea to sea.  It's a long weekend.  They've got an extra day in which to do it.

Peepers!  Prepare my teleportation device.  I have a corn maze to visit.

Oh yeah, almost forgot...  How could I forget?  Talk about mouses. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL and to all a good night!

44 comments:

  1. Well, it could have been worse pal, they could have been Lost In Space!

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  2. This is That fools a lot of people. Lady heard a story there once and thought it was real, it was about people wanting the dogs in the dog parks of Quebec to be bilingual, and thought it was real until she realized what show it was.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you too! Lee and Phod

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  3. There's no way that cats would be lost in a maze, so we don't have to worry. If peeps did get lost in a maze, it would serve them right for not using their senses properly. They're so dim sometimes, it's a good thing they can open cat food cans.

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  4. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Hope there is lots to eat and no mazes to get lost in. Have a great day.

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  5. Yes, indeed, this could happen to peeps, since they have such poor senses of direction! But you will be just fine, Nissy! You are a cat, after all. :)

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  6. We should all go to a corn maze. What fun!

    HappyThanksgiving to all our Canada furriends!

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  7. Nissy I would never ever let my mom-person visit a corn maze !
    Because she would really end up in space :)
    Happy Thanksgiving !
    XOXO

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  8. Happy Thanksgiving! We would love to visit a corn maze...with food supplies just in case. ;)

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  9. Happy turkey day tomorrow! Many years ago I rescued a half-dead cat that gotten lost in a corn field. He survived and lived a good life with a friend who named him Quixote.

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  10. oh, we totally see how directionally challenged humans could be endangered by corn mazes. But not corn maizes since that's basically like saying corn corns.

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  11. Getting lost in corn maze sounds like something Stephen King would write about. Stay safe!

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  12. MOL! This is why my human googles everything before repeating it. Just for the record, I taught her to do that.

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  13. Maybe the peeps need to use an eggbeater as an ersatz dowsing rod for the way out.

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  14. Happy Thanksgiving. I thought it sounded like that old movie with the corn maze.

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  15. Meow Nerissa. We hope you had hard nip cider. After that experience, you deserve it!


    Purrs & Headbonks,
    The Feline Congingent
    (Lilith, Rosco, & Tina)

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  16. Nissy, our female peep is about as unreliable as your peep #2; though, she'll try to tell you it is her dyslexia. When she read your first paragraph, she thought the parking lot was filled with cats and couldn't understand why all the peeps took their cats to the corn maze. Talk about a ditzoid! Good thing your peep #2 and our female peep are not a couple. Disaster would rule. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Misty May, Mauricio, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  17. Now if it was a nip maze, we wouldn't mind getting lost in it!

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  18. MOL we thought our Mom was the only one like that!

    Happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for the reminder...we need to call our Nova Scotia friends tomorrow!

    The Florida Furkids

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  19. Bwa!!! Haa!! Haa!!! BTW wes heard the story on "This is That" and Daddy came in half way through and thought it was really really!!! And we laughed then too!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  20. Peeps should stay in the house and not go wandering out by themselves in the dangerous world. They're apt to do crazy sh.... uh, stuff.

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  21. LOL we were just believing the story.......we can well imagine it. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  22. Yikes! Those corn maze things sound fun but scary.....I'm thinking I better not let my elderly humans tackle one of those things or they'd never been seen again!! We have lotsa farms around here that do corn mazes for Halloween with actors hiding in the corn and leaping out to scare peeps when they come by. Now THAT sounds even MORE dangerous! Humans are a rather strange lot come to think of it....don't you think so Nissy?

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

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  23. Eeek we got lost in a corn maze last week, not fun with a toddler and restless four yar old! Happy Thanksgiving!

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  24. I finally accepted that award you gave me months ago. Thanks.

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  25. hehehehe never mind Nissy,at least the peeps are good for a laugh!xx Speedy

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes I think that's ALL they're good for. MOUSES!

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  26. dood...if we bee sticked ina corn maze we wood just eat R way out..a veree happee thanx bee givin two ewe N yur hole familee...heerz ta pie, spuds, N NOE BURD !!!!! oh, N corn on de cob :)

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  27. Happy Thanksgiving! Although we hope not in a corn maze!

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  28. A maze ing!!!! Peep#2 is a good source of blog posts though ;) Happy Thanksgiving, Nissy xx

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  29. Well, we want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and ask that you not visit any corn mazes...we would be very sad if you got lost. Hugs and nose kisses

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  30. Hey Nerissa! Guess what? FINALLY we posted about all those awardies you gived me....it only tooked us like 8 months or sumfing!

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  31. Great blog Nerissa, no surprise there. Love to read about my fellow Canadian's exploits. Stella says all peeps are useless at navigation. So why build corn mazes to get lost on purpose? Hope you had lots of turkey.

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  32. Hmmm, after reading this, we realize we need to keep Jan home till winter comes and there are no corn mazes left. If she entered one, we could die of starvation before she found her way out again. We can't have that! Thanks for the warning.

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  33. Please come by my blog. I have something special for you!

    Xoxo Ragdoll mommy~

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  34. Happy Thanksgiving! Brofur Apollo brought Mama a mousie at 5 in the morning the other day! MOL! Me-Ommmmmm

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    1. You doin' that instead of turkey this year?

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  35. I am glad you like my awardie I gave ya'!

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  36. You are the bestest ever repurrter Nissy, you always check your furracts...pawsome, paw pats, Savannah

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  37. Hey, Buddy, I'll take that Nipski, and there's nothing wrong with little Bromance! Ur pal, Spitty

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