Sunday, 4 August 2013

look before you leap

...And for mouses' sake, think before you snip.

So I'm sitting in my office the other day, minding my own business and havin' a little nap at the computer, when I hear a bunch of stompin' and door slammin'.  Peep #1 comes storming into my office, grumbling about something.  Grumble this...  grumble that...  At first, I thought she might have been workin' on an audition piece for Grumpy Cat but quickly realised, she doesn't have the necessary tail for that role.  Doesn't have the whiskers, either.

The first peep was in a right ol' mood.  I had to make a decision.  Do I hop up onto her lap and provide a little comfort or do I cover my ears with my paws and hope for the best?  I chose the latter, of course.  But she went on and on and on.  What a pain in the tail that peep can be.  Finally, I decided to hop up onto her lap after all and let her tell me what ailed her.

Apparently, the second peep had been let loose with the secateurs.  Let loose in the garden.  History tells us that this could not possibly be good news.  The second peep knows nothing 'bout nothing when it comes to the garden.  Why peep #1 left the secateurs in plain sight of the second peep is beyond me.  Just askin' for trouble, that was.  MOUSES!

Well ol' peepers had this plant out by the back door.  Please note the word had

She didn't plant it there.  It grew all on its own.  Yes, this pretty little British wildflower called agrimony had taken root all by itself.  The peep was super happy about this because where she had planted agrimony, agrimony hadn't grown.  She had planted some in the front yard but of all the ones she planted, only one had survived and it was lookin' kind of on the straggly side.  Lookin' pretty sad, if I say so myself.  Still is, in fact.

But out of nowhere appeared this little guy by the back door.  Peep thinks a seed must have dropped or something when she was starting the plants 'cause it quite literally, appeared out of nowhere.  It appeared just like magic which is weird cause the peep is not a magician.  She doesn't have a black hat or a cloak or a bunny or anything.  Not even a magic wand.

Anywho... this plant by the back door grew to be big and strong and healthy and started to bloom.  Ol' peepers checked on it every day.  She was so happy 'bout this plant growing there.  She was gonna collect the seed from it when it was ready so that she could plant up some more for the front yard since the only one growin' there was all sad and straggly lookin'.

Well you know what they say 'bout best laid plans.  They say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.  Actually, they say, "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley."  Well, when I say they I really mean Robert Burns but what did this Burns character know, anyway?  I mean...  the guy wrote a poem to a mouse.  MOUSES! 

On the other paw, he practically wrote the book on what was gonna happen with this plan of the first peep and the lettin' loose with the secateurs of the second.  So I guess Mr. Burns must have known something!  Actually, it was kind of like he was seeing into the future.  Wow.  Hope he wasn't makin' any plans 'cause...  well...  you know.

Anywho...  long story short...  the plant is no more.  Well, it's still there but it has no flowers.  Peep #2 cut the flower stalks right down to the ground.  Again I say, MOUSES!

So I let peep #1 tell me all about her little plant and then I asked her about the important stuff.  The important stuff like, has peep #2 been anywhere near my nip?  Then I remembered, oh yeah...  peep #1 totally screwed up the growin' of my nip, this year.  Seriously, I have got to get myself some new peeps.

I said to the peep, "Calm down.  First things first...  HIDE THE SECATEURS."  Then I watched as she tucked them safely away in a drawer in my office.  Peep #2 will never find them there.  They're in a secret spot that only the first peep and I know.  Then I said, "Go get my brother Rushton.  I have to tell him something.  It's important."  The peep obediently, obeyed.

"Rushton, my man," I said.  "Don't let peep #2 anywhere near that mat of yours on your tummy.  You know the one.  The one you haven't allowed peep #1 to remove?  The one that you won't let ol' peepers near with the comb?  Yeah...  that would be it.  Well you had better let her remove it now 'cause if that second peep of ours sees it, more than the mat might get removed, if you know what I mean.  Peep #2 has been accused, tried and convicted of snippin' without thinkin' and you don't want a peep like that anywhere near you.  At least not when you're sportin' a mat."

35 comments:

  1. That gave me a much-needed chuckle. Thank you! :)

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  2. Yikes! Sister Sascha knows all about what happens when you don't run fast enough!

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  3. Wow, our human mom can sure relate to that story. She's in charges of our gardens. The male human is in charges of the lawns. Just a couple of weeks ago, Mom noticed that a gladiola had been whacked right off at the roots before it had even bloomed. When she confronted the male, he said it had been lying on the ground. That's cause mom hadn't stacked it yet. Ya know those gladioli can get pretty top heavy. Then he whacked a whole patch of weeds down to the ground after Mom told him to leave them alone so she could pull them. His reply, "Don't worry, they'll grow back." Well, duh, that's why she wanted to pull them. Some humans cannot be allowed to have sharp objects. PERIOD! We get all kinds of what our mom calls "volunteer" plants in our yard…some good and some bad. Mom says that it happens 'cause the birdies eat the seeds from the plants, do not digest them and then poop them out in the yard all nicely fertiiized. And then, just like magic, new plants. So…with another book-length comment complete, we mourn your loss and hope your plant grows back. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

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    1. "Don't worry, they'll grow back?" MOUSES! Hear that peepers? Some peeps out there have it worse than you. Could you believe it?

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    2. Hi I come over from my blog life with Ragdolls and I love your blog! Hope you can come by mine!!:-)

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    3. Hi it's me again.And I would love for you to come over to my blog on August 14!! It well be something very important!!! So tell all your Furrfriends to come on over to life with Ragdolls!!! It would mean the WOURLD to me and my Ragdolls and cats!!!:-) have a nice day

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  4. Oh Rushton, we sure Peep #2 doesn't see your matt. Then there would be serious clipping. Too bad about that plant. We understand why Peep #1 was upset. Try to have a good rest of the day.

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  5. Mummy say's the same thing about daddy when it comes to gardening the only thing he's allowed to cut is the grass when mummy tells him...hehehe,xx Speedy

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  6. Hahaha! What a funny post! We think it's probably a good idea to hide the scissors too, for Rushton's sake. ;)

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  7. MOUSES indeed! We have very wild gardens and let nature take its course cuz the hooman is too lazy to do much weeding.

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  8. Funny post! I think I agree with you about your warning for Rushton, though. That prolly would not end well if peeps #2 decided to hack away at it.

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  9. We hope no one was cut in the writing of this blog post. Teehee! Too bad about the plant.

    Lee and Phod

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  10. Eeek! Somebody needs to keep Human #2 from all sorts of sharp objects! AND mats on kitties!!

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  11. Anytime I have a mat, I know I have to keep one eye open and a constant look over my shoulder.

    Thank you so much for your kind words of comfort for Tom. They mean a lot to us. We're trying to get back to normal, but we're finding it's going to be really hard to find normal again, we miss him so much.

    Tinker, Anastasia and the mom xx

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  12. Daddy does all of our gardening..She is banned as she pulled up little plants thinking they were weeds..DOH xxxx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  13. Your peep #2 sounds awfully like our Mommy...florally inept!

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  14. Ah the Dad remembers when he did the roundy round with that loud mow machine. We had nice round river rock borders where not to go. He went there and his manly machine was not happy.
    He says we may have a garden again Meow-Wow

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  15. My Dad says they had a round river stone border on the flowery type stuff. If he uses his manly machine too close it is unhappy.
    We may have a new garden soon.
    Meow-Wow

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  16. Mummy Janey is from the 'no prisoners' school of pruning..you should have seen what she did to Madelaine's mattiness!!!
    Rushton,hide ...wherever you can.. NOW!!!!
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxxx

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  17. Oh. Dear. Peep NO. 2 had better keep their head down - right??

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  18. BOL you crack us up...snippin without thinking. We have a peeps that does that. Lucky you didn't get the secateurs on that mat of yours. Yikes we shudder at the thought. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  19. Mystery plants planted by mystery magic!! WE love that!!! But Rushton! Does the drawer have a key? Find it, lock the drawer and throw the key away. Ahem. Take care
    x

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  20. Hilarious! Keep an eye on those snip!

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  21. Wise advice for Brother Rushton.....back AWAAAAAAAAAY from Peep #2 when he's wielding a weapon!

    Kitty hugs, Sammy

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  22. ohhhhh that is some excellent advice! You never know WHAT would happen!

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  23. Oh dear, yes be mindful when snipping! Me-Ommmmm

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  24. OH NOES! Let your mom get to that MAT Rushton..for pity sakes. THINK what could happen!

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  25. Holy CAT! Was that a Snip and Run? If we were Rushton we'd hide TOO!

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  26. Uh, just exactly what is left there to snip, Rushton? Oh, well, right--of course there's THAT. . . but anything else?? Be careful, my good mancat.

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    1. Nope, 'that' has already been ummm... uhhh... snipped. I was worried peep #2 might mangle my brother's mane. Make him look silly or somethin'. purrs

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    2. Well, I was thinking of the *cucumber*, not the tomatoes. I figured those were a lost cause already. Ha ha ha! Uh-oh, is this too x-rated for your bloggy?

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  27. Hey, this story has all the makings of a Hollywood epic. You could call it "The Agrimony and the Echinacea". Maybe Rex Harrison and Charlton Heston could play cameo roles; you know, in the ash trays and on top of the cupboards.

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  28. Oh wow, plants! They must be fun to sniff. :)

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