Wednesday, 5 June 2013

just call me Houdini

There was an incident, last week.  A bad one.  I wasn't bad.  It was the incident that was bad.  Just gettin' that straight, up front.

Anywho...  ol' Peep #1 thought she'd pot up her tomatoes.  I know...  you're probably wondering why they're her tomatoes and not mine.  Most of the things in the garden are mine but I leave the tomatoes to the peep 'cause, quite frankly, I don't like 'em.  The leaves smell funny and aren't much good for munching.  In fact, if you try to munch 'em, you get even more of that funny smell.  Gosh...  you get the smell just by brushing up against them.  My dad, on the other paw, kind of likes tomato sauce but I've come to the conclusion that that's weird.  Tomato sauce is not for cats.  Neither are tomatoes.  Icky.

I told the peep that if she was going to be outside in the sun for a whole afternoon, so was I.  I was sick and tired of bein' cooped up in the livin' room and I wanted a little fresh air.  This house arrest business sucks, I tell you.  It simply sucks.

So the peep got out my harness and put it on me.  I'm getting used to the harness, now.  I still won't walk around the garden with it.  The peep has to carry me for garden inspections but I'll now wear it without a whole lot of complaints.  I don't like it but I'll wear it.  I'm not happy about wearin' it but I'm getting used to it.  Also, you can play with the leash end.  That part is kind of fun.

Ol' peepers figured she could secure the leash to a fence post by my primrose garden.  There, I would be in dappled sun so I wouldn't get too hot.  I could sprawl out on the driveway if I wanted or snuggle in among the primroses.  Whatever tickled my fancy at the moment.  We were at the bottom end of the driveway, near the road, but I wasn't on the road or anything.  No, the road was on the other side of the primroses and some trees.  We were pretty safe.  Or so I thought...

Peep #1 hauled over the recycling bin to use as a make-shift potting table and gathered all the other stuff necessary to pot up those tomatoes.  She had a whole whack of stuff there.  Of course there were tomato plants but I also saw potting mix, manure, a watering can and some organic fertilisers.  I must admit, she was pretty prepared for her afternoon of playing in the dirt. 

Everything went smoothly for a while.  The peep was on her third or fourth tomato plant and things were lookin' good.  I watched the peep walk over to the house to fill the watering can with some water and, from what I could see, she was doing it correctly.  The tomato plants may be hers but she still requires guidance, you know.

Peepers was still filling up the watering can when I heard the noise.  It was a horrible noise.  I heard the rumbling of an engine coming close and closer and closer to where I sat.  The noise got louder and louder and I just knew it was approaching.  The peep called out to me, saying it was okay and that I was safe but I didn't believe her.  She came over to me, still saying everything was fine and that I needn't be scared.  I looked at her in disbelief.  Did she not hear what I was hearing?  Was she nuts?  A monster was approaching.  A monster of all monsters.  Of course I should be afraid.

Through the trees, I could see the movement of the humongous yellow beast.  It roared with life and I just knew it was coming to get me.  I had the terrifying beast on my left, my crazy peep on my right and there I was...  stuck in the middle of the two.  What to do...  what to do...

I decided to make a run for it.  I bolted for the house.  WHAM!  That darned harness had me in its grip.  It stopped me dead in my tracks.  I leaped into the air, doin' a mid-air ninety-degree spin, landed on all four paws and made a run for other other side of house.  WHAM!  BAM!  That darned harness again.  The peep was frantic, tryin' to catch me.  I was even more frantic, trying to escape.

I squirmed and I wormed.  I rolled this way and that and...  and...  and miracle of all miracles...   I WAS FREE!

I was out of that harness and runnin' for the backyard as fast as my little paws would take me.  The peep was left behind, amidst a cloud of dust.

Then I saw some grass.  Grass...  Fresh, tender, green grass.  I love grass and as I hadn't munched on any since the start of my involuntary confinement, I had to stop and have a little nibble.  The big yellow monster had left.  Turned out it was just the school bus droppin' off nosey neighbour cat's brother.  Who knew?

I was chowing down on my greens when the peep arrived out of nowhere and scooped me up into her arms.  In between the cuddling and kissing and chin tickles, she comforted me, sayin' I was safe and that the big noisy monster was gone.  "Yeah, I saw it leave, peepers.  I'm over it," I told her.

Once I began to purr, the peep had the nerve to scold me.  She said I could have hurt my knee again, or something like that.  Blah, blah, blah...  Heard it all before, I tell you.

Then she looked at me, quizzically, and asked, "How did you get out of your harness?"

Sure enough, I had managed to do that.  The harness was left behind, still over by the fence post and still fastened together.  Yup, both parts were still securely fastened. That's right...  I had squirmed and wormed and wriggled my way out of that harness like no other cat has ever done before.  I looked at the peep and narrowed my eyes before tellin' her, "Just call me Houdini," and I left it at that.


33 comments:

  1. LOL, our Sadie knows how to get out of harnesses too. Hope you enjoyed your taste of freedom!

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  2. LMFTO!!!...bwwaahhahahaha...WHODEEKNEE Indeed!! High Paws bro'...come on...paws up and give me a high 4!! Luv ya, Savannah

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  3. Loved this post! You are a great writer. I thought only dogs knew how to get out of harnesses.

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  4. HEY NISSY PAL!! Felix & Jasper here !! Wow! that amazing! We have a big yellow monster go past here, not a school bus but a road clearer ! It be slow and creepy! So can calls you HARRY now. Hehe! What will be your next amazing trick pal? We can't wait. Hope you is feelin a lot better pal. Take care HUGS XXX

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  5. I guess you have be picking up some lessons from me...hehehe,xx Speedy

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  6. Whew - thank cat you are safe. You never know when those noisy monsters are going to come around either. Does mom know about the Kritter Kondo thingy? I have one at I'm safe there when M or D want to work in the yard and I want to be out there with them. They are expensive, but well worth it for our safety. Just google KritterKondo and you'll find it.

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  7. Concats on getting out of your harness - we would have loved to have seen your peeps face when she realised you'd escaped from its shackles.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  8. Well Houdini, I'm proud of you for figuring out how to squirm out of the harness (I can do that too in a pinch but don't tell my Mom) but most of all I'm glad you didn't hurt that knee! The fact you ran like crazy means it's healed up but I just KNOW you don't want to go through all that again so take it easy my friend! PULEEEZE????

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

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  9. Yes those harnesses are yucky and I refuse to wear one. Brofur Rumpy figured out how to escape the second time he tried it so Dad got a Kitty Holster. No more escapes. If #1 goes to that web site make sure you yowl and get her attention.
    Purrs
    Timmy T

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  10. That's what Binga did the last time she was allowed outside on a harness. that was in 2001! She has not been allowed outside ever since.

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  11. dood houdini....ewe bee fame mouse now ya noe...tho frank lee we iz like yur peepz N hopin yur knee iz knot outta whack ore whick coz then that wood meen even MOR houz arrest; noe pizza dee liver ree N whooz gonna be at de command post when ya shoot off ta marz....dont fogetz NASA has de flight scheduled for august ~~~~~~~

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  12. Wow Nerissa ! We don't know what a harness is, but we're sure that you have achieved a feat ! We're glad to see that you didn't hurt your knee. Loupi and Zorro

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  13. We hate those noisy machines too. If we're out at the catio when one drives by, we'll all be back indoors in a sec!
    Tutu asks if she can get lessons from you on how to escape the harness....

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  14. We hatez da loud noizez too! dat'z why da mom doesn't efen bother tryin to take us owt ^..^ dat could be a disaster fur sure! we jus worried you might hurt your knee ....., glad you didn't! sure wouldn't want to see you in confinement any longer den you've been ^..^ you are Houdini fur sure! ^.,^

    Headbuttz dude~ ^..^ x3

    ♥♥xoxo from da girlz ^.,^ x2

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  15. Your peeps must have been scared when you got out of your harness and ran. Lucky that nice tasty grass was there.

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  16. That's why when I used to take Angel Bobo out he actually had a leather DOG COLLAR and a HEAVY chain dog leash...yep, the kind for small dogs. Cat harnesses do not work, thank goodness you are ok.

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  17. Nerissa, I don't blame you for being afraid BUT if your mom was there with you, you could believe her when she said it was alright but I DO understand being afraid of the noise. Still running like that, you could have badly injured yourself! PLEASE be CAREFUL!

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  18. Just gettin out of da harness is a feat and you having had da opershion not too long ago. Me an Juliet don't like even da smell of tomato's either but we had a fur-sister (half-fur-sister) a puppy dog dat loved tomato's our hooman grandpa would peel dem fur her to eat. Hoomom say her finks he is doing dat for her at Rainbow Bridge now dat thems both their. We watch da big bus fink drops noisy little hoomans off too and we understand you being scared. Love another blog from you we expected no less! *Purrs*

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  19. Hey, those yellow noisy monsters can make the best harness disappear! I am sure glad it didn't chase after you pal.

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  20. What a super scary adventure. We are so glad you didn't re-injure yourself. We are sure hoping you will not be re-grounded after this fiasco. Astrid is our little Houdini. We're working on a post about it now. Stay safe and well, buddy. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

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  21. I could see the whole thing, just how you described...twisting n whirling in the air to get out of that harness. I think if it had been me, I wudda chewed my way through the ground to Center Earth. Harnesses I don't mind, cuz I get to travel. But I don't think I'd like a big yellow busmonster. Hugs, Niss. So glad you're safe.

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  22. We are all very glad you are safe.

    I considered getting a walking jacket for my cats when they got out of their harness, but I just decided to keep them in instead.

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  23. I don't like loud noises either. Plz stay wif ur Mom, though. :)

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  24. Nissy, I managed to get out of my harness too. It took a little work, but I managed to do it. BTW, I love tomatoes! Well, not the plants...but that round red veggie...it's really fun to play with!

    Wally

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  25. That harness thingy doesn't work for us either, glad you came to no great harm - looks like you had an adventure!

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  26. I am so pleased that it ended well!! What a neat trick, what will you do for your next act?

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  27. Wow Nissy you sure are a Houdini. Who can blame you with the big yellow monster roaring down the road? Glad you enforced confinement now includes a little R&R in the garden. Have a terrific Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  28. You go girlfriend! But don't run too far.... wanna be home in time for supper!

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  29. it's a scary world outside. that's why we kitties stay indoors. our mama wants to know how long it took you to wear the harness. our humans bought one for buster, because emma will not have anything to do with a harness and has no inclination to go outside even when the humans forget to shut the glass door. buster is giving them all kinds of problems when they attempt to put the harness on him. need advise.

    emma and buste

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  30. What's a silly little harness to a Master Escape Artist such as yourself?
    That sounds a really scary adventure. No wonder you were frantic to escape such a terrible Monster!

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  31. Oh Nerissa! Be still my heart! That is the Most Terrifying Story Ever! It's a good thing I knew you made it out alive (since you were writing it and all) because otherwise I mighta gotten too scared to even read it! But heh heh--you ESCAPED!
    The hideous two weeks at the Human's work are over so I hope she'll be helping me visit more now!

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  32. Oh Nissy, you will be able to milk that for what it's worth for the forseeable. Scritches treats and belly rubs on demand I should say for at least 5 years!!!

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  33. Wow Nerissa dat iz sum storey n me wuud hab dun da same!!! Me nott like dem sudden noisez....altho me doez like Thunder? Weerd huh?
    Nylablue n Sherriellen Mum too xoxo

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