Showing posts with label isn't that special. Show all posts
Showing posts with label isn't that special. Show all posts

Sunday, 12 August 2018

isn't that special

Well isn't that special.

MOUSES!

So the peep, bein' a peep, forgot to gas up the car on Friday.

Now normally, her doin' that wouldn't bother me one bit as in general, I'm not a big fan of the car.  The car takes you places.  Places YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO.  You know, like the doctors and such.

But I digress.  Back to the lack of gas in the car.

So as I was sayin', the peep forgettin' to get gas normally wouldn't bother me, but as I was in need of a few things at the store (things like nip, nip, and more nip), the lack of gas was VERY BOTHERSOME, indeed.

MOUSES!

Now for most peeps, not gassin' up on a Friday isn't a big problem, but for my peep - my peep who does not know how to put gas in a car - it is.

MOUSES!

So bright and early Saturday mornin', right after the peep gave me my breakkies, I reminded her how she forgot to get gas the day before.  That's when she called her gas station of choice.

"Is the full service pump open on Saturdays?" the peep asked.

"I'm afraid not."

"CUR-SED MOUSES!" I cried.

The peep, bein' a peep, went all quiet.

"But I'll pump your gas for you anyway," the gas station attendant continued.

I bet 'cause he heard me cursin' those mouses.

"Just pull up to the full service pump, and honk the horn if I don't see you right away."

I sat back on my haunches and looked up at the peep.  "Awww...  Isn't that nice of him?" I said.

Then I thought about the situation.

He could have been bein' nice.  The peep says the peeps workin' at that gas station are very nice peeps, indeed.

But on the other paw, it might have been more 'bout self-preservation.

You know, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they've got warnin' notices up on ALL the walls of the gas station.  DO NOT ALLOW THAT PEEP #1 ACCESS TO THE SELF-SERVE PUMPS, is what those notices must say.

Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me one bit.

You see, not only does Peep #1 not know how to pump her own gas, but she shouldn't be ALLOWED to pump gas, either.  Lettin' my peep loose with stuff like that is just ASKIN' for trouble, for sure.

MOUSES!

It's not that she's accident prone, or anythin' like that.

It's more because she's old and decrepit.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

You're not decrepit, you say?

Really?

Really?

Are you SURE?

MOUSES!

You'll note she's not squabblin' about bein' called old.

MOUSES!

But seriously, my friends, if Peep #1 were to attempt to pump her own gas...

The world would never again be the same.

MOUSES!

Hmmm...  I wonder if gas stations charge for the gas that incompetent old decrepit peeps accidentally spill and splash all over the ground.

I wonder if gas stations charge incompetent old decrepit peeps to CLEAN UP the gas they accidentally spill and splash all over the ground.

CLEANUP PUMP THREE!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Yeah, yeah...  You're not decrepit.

Oh so you claim...

And how are we with the word, INCOMPETENT?

Don't like that one either, huh?

Then how would you describe yourself?

No answer, huh?

Hmmm...  Would you say you were, basic-skills-that-everyone-ELSE-in-the-whole-wide-world-and-even-their-DOGS-know-how-to-do challenged?

I think I would.

MOUSES!