Saffron, you're wrong about that. You're absolutely, one hundred percent wrong. You're...
ARE TOO.
MOUSES!
Saffy, Saffy, Saffy... If there's one thing I know, it's that I know when others are wrong.
MOUSES!
AM NOT.
No, Saffy. No, no, NO. I, Seville the Cat, am NEVER wrong. Never, ever, ever. And if I, Seville the Cat, am never, ever, ever wrong, I can't possibly be wrong right now. If there's one thing I know...
Scratch that. If there are TWO things I know, I know when others are wrong; and I know that I, Seville the Cat, never am.
Wrong, that is.
MOUSES!
Well let me ask you this then, Saffy. Have you ever heard Peepers say she was gonna go use the little girls' room - or whatever she calls the human litter box these days - and then head outside to do whatever peeps do in human litter boxes? Have you? HAVE you?
Don't bother answerin' that, Saffron. That there was a rhetorical question, for sure. Thing is, you have NEVER heard Peepers say anything 'bout her goin' to the bathroom outdoors. Never! And do you know why that is?
Again, don't bother answerin', Saffron. That there was another rhetorical question. Thing is, Peepers is a civilised peep and civilised peeps believe in the advantages of indoor plumbin'. And that would be indoor as in inside, as in INDOORS. And we civilised cats believe in the same. See what I mean?
No, Saffron. NO! That there space out there is NOT an outdoor bathroom. It's not a bathroom at all. It's not a litter box, a toilet, or anythin' else where a kitty or peep might do his or her business. That there space is what those of us in the know - like me - call a flower bed. FLOWER bed. A bed for flowers.
What? WHAT? No, it's not a bed as in where one might sleep.
Well, maybe... Maybe if you happen to be a flower.
What? What's that, Saffy? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
NO. NO! No, Saffron, you are not a flower. You're a cat. Like me.
'Cept not as famous, of course.
SAFFRON! Bottom line is this: you're not to be poopin' in Peepers' flowers. Do what the rest of us cats do and have always done, and use the litter box - INDOORS - and...
What? What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?
Well yes, of course. There are always gonna be times when a kitty can't quite make it to the litter box in time and when that happens, a shoe does usually suffice.
Just wait 'til Peepers goes out there to plant her tulips.
MOUSES!
Remember to mask up, too.
