I'M BACK!!! Did you miss me? Did you even notice I was gone? Awww... MOUSES!
Well I know that at least some of you missed me and let me tell you, I MISSED YOU ALL TOO. I missed you all so much... I missed you all so much that... I missed you all so much that I'm simply at a loss for words to describe how very much I missed you.
Bet you never saw that comin', huh? Nerissa the Cat at a loss for words. MOUSES!
Anywho... Let me tell you all what happened. It all began last Thursday mornin'....
My post the day before had gone up a little late and I hadn't had a lot of time for visitin' so I knew that Thursday would be a busy day, for sure. I knew I needed to visit a lot of my pals' blogs to see what they were up to so I hurried Peep #1 into my office to turn on the computer and whatnot.
Now I know what you're thinkin'. You thinkin',
but I thought you wrote all your own stuff? Well I do. Yes Mr. Anonymous Spam, try as you might, I will never be hirin' you to write posts on my blog. Doesn't matter how many times you offer, it's never gonna happen. Like I said, I WRITE ALL MY OWN STUFF.
MOUSES!
But even though I, Nerissa the Cat, do write all my own blog posts, I can't actually get the computer and modem plugged in so for those things, I have to rely upon the peep. Again I must say, MOUSES!
So Peep #1 headed into my office and turned everythin' on for me. I went straight to my e-mail but where my e-mail should have been, there was nothin'. Nothin' at all. Darned moused-up POP thingy, I thought to myself. It's gone and popped its dinger again. Too much soda will do that, you see. I then headed over to the
in box from the telephone/Internet company but alas, all I could find was a message sayin', "Server not found." Server not found? MOUSES!
Next on my list was my blog but when I tried to access Google, I again got the message 'bout the missin' server. What was goin' on? There were missin' servers all over the place and cats' dinners were gettin' cold and... Oh yeah, different kind of server. MOUSES!
If you've noticed that I've been usin' the expression
MOUSES! a lot, you'd be right 'cause last Thursday was a moused-up kind of day, for sure.
I called the first peep over, tellin' her she was gonna have to phone the phone company to tell them that the Internet was all moused-up. I would have called myself but I remembered from prior experience that the peeps workin' for the phone company don't seem to understand me over the telephone. MOUSES!
Peep #1 picked up the phone to call in the problem only to find that the problem was bigger than originally thought. The phone line was dead. Duh duh duh duhhhhh,,,,, MOUSES!
And when I say dead, I mean dead. There's wasn't a sound. Not a peep nor a cheep nor even a squeak.
I thought to myself, I bet this has somethin' to do with those squirrels. Those squirrels have easy access to the telephone wires on account of their hangin' out in that big ol' oak tree by the telephone pole. And with all the snow we've been havin', the squirrels might be gettin' a little squirrelly. Squirrelly squirrels can get into a lot of mischief, for sure.
The first peep said she would head over to the phone store at the mall to let 'em know what was goin' on and that repairs were needed. I said, "Hop to it, woman. I've got bloggin' to do!" Peep just rolled her eyes and grumbled somethin' about patience. What a peep. MOUSES!
I hunkered down on the couch in the family room, preparin' to watch a little
cable TV. Good thing the peeps didn't decide to bundle up this winter, to keep warm. Good thing the television wasn't all bundled up with the telephone company 'cause
had it been, the cable would have been out, too. MOUSES!
Eventually, Peep #1 headed off to the mall but on her way there, a phone company truck passed her on the main road, headin' in the direction of our subdivision. The peep pulled a u-ey... Scratch that. Ol' Peepers pulled into a
church parkin' lot, turned around, hung a left and headed back towards home. She drove around the subdivision for a bit before spottin' the phone company truck, pulled over and trotted over to talk.
The two men were super nice. They were hookin' up phone service to a recently sold house and said that as soon as they were done, they would head on over to our house to see what was up. Watchin' from my office window, I saw their trucks arrive and saw one man climb into the bucket thingy so that he could check out what was happenin' at the squirrel hotel, otherwise known as the big ol' oak tree at the end of our driveway.
I pawed at my office window, tryin' to get the peep's attention. I wanted her to give the men some acorns to offer to the squirrels for their nut pies. Never interrupt a nest of squirrelly squirrels when they're makin' nut pies unless you have a peace offerin' of some sort. Believe me, I know this from personal experience. MOUSES!
The man up in the bucket thingy came down from the Squirrel Penthouse, sayin' that the problem was somewhere down the line. They didn't have the necessary equipment to find it but would call it in. He said the cold weather was to blame and truth be told, we had had an awful lot of cold weather. His story was plausible, for sure. Apparently, the squirrels were innocent. Who knew?
That evenin', I sent Peep #1 to the phone store in the mall to see if there were any updates 'bout repairs to our phone and Internet. She had to phone the repair service from the phone store and after bein' put on hold, she was finally given an answer. No updates were available. I sent her back the next day. Again she had to phone someone from the phone store. After bein' put on hold - TWICE - she was told that the repair guy didn't appear to be answerin' his phone. MOUSES!
And by the way, the phone service peeps she was phonin' from the phone store were half-way around the world in the Philippines. They, in turn, were then phonin' the repair guy here in Nova Scotia who wasn't answerin' his phone. It seems to me that part of the problem was all this phonin' back and forth around the world. Stupid out-sourcin'. MOUSES!
Alexander Graham Bell must have been tossin' and turnin' in his grave.
Again I must say... MOUSES!
Finally, Peep #1 spoke to another person from the other side of the planet and was told that repairs were underway. They were lookin' for the problem but it could take a couple of hours so if it wasn't fixed by Friday evenin', it would be by sometime on Saturday. The peep had some doubts 'bout that. Did they do repairs on the weekend? And what about the massive storm that was headin' our way?
So Saturday came and went and the phone line was still dead. Sunday was the same and Monday, too. Then yesterday mornin', around ten o'clock - ALMOST SIX DAYS LATER - the peep picked up the phone and... MOUSES! We had phone!!! Internet, too. I was as happy as happy could be. I danced and I pranced and then I had a nap. Way too much dancin' and prancin', for sure.
So there you have it, my friends. The reason for my absence from the Blogosphere for SIX DAYS was a cold snap causin' a phone and Internet outage here in Nova Scotia and a service department outsourced to the other side of the planet and no one workin' on Alexander Graham Bell's legacy with access to eggbeater teleporation technology which, of course, would have allowed for easy transport back and forth.
Peep #1 managed to get some of her own writin' done durin' our Internet outage so she put the extra time to good use. But I missed all the Valentine's Day blogosphere celebrations. And postin' my Sunday blog post. I never miss a blog post! And what if there had been an emergency or somethin' and the peeps couldn't call out? There was a major storm here on Sunday. Anythin' could have happened.
I'm not happy 'bout this and let me tell you, someone from that phone company is gonna hear 'bout it. Never irritate a bloggin' kitty. Never a good thing to do. Never wise, for sure. MOUSES!
