doornail kinda dead

Yup, it's dead, alright.  Dead, deaddums, doornail kinda dead.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

NO, I was NOT talking 'bout a bird.

*runs to front door to double-check*

NOPE, there are no dead birds 'round here.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' either Saffy or I caught some poor critter and deadded it.  A bird or a mouse or...  Or perhaps a wayward bug.

But the truth is, we didn't.  We didn't catch anythin'.  Not anythin' at all!

What?  What's that, Saffy, my man?

Oh yeah, Saffy DID catch the butterfly toy Santa gave us for Christmas.  He caught it last night.  And then again, this mornin'.  He catches it a lot, actually, but he does NOT deadums it.  Nope, he doesn't deadums it, at all.  Once he lets go, the butterfly always comes right back to life.

MOUSES!

What, Saffy?  What are you on about now?

Oh yeah, and Saffy also caught his tail.

Although I'm pretty sure that catch was purely accidental.

MOUSES!

Truth is, it's the car battery that's dead.

AND IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN ALL THAT COLD!

But not-all-that-cold or not, the car battery is dead as a doornail, the peep says.

AND THE BATTERY ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT OLD.

Seems we went through all this not all that long ago.  Maybe two or three years.

But the battery won't start up the car, nonetheless.

But don't you worry, my friends.  Don't you worry, at all.  The car has a doctor's appointment - if that's what you wanna call it - on Tuesday afternoon.  Our pals at the garage will fix 'er right up and she'll be runnin' again, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

I AM NOT WORRIED.  There's no need for you to console Saffy and me.  YOU might be skimpin' on milk and bread to make sure there's enough to get you thru 'til Tuesday, but that's of no concern to me.

I already checked, you see, and there's plenty of kibble and tins of the fanciest of the feasts.  Plenty of treats, as well.  There are even bottles of spring water.

To which Saffy has takin' a likin', as of late.

SAFFY AND ME ARE GONNA BE JUST FINE.

Good thing, too, Peepers.  'Cause if we were runnin' low on any of OUR stuff, you'd be walk, walk, WALKIN' to the store.

And that is for sure.

Not OUR fault the store is a couple kilometres away and the roads are a tad icy.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.