testing

"Check.  Check.   Testing...

Er-hm...

"Test.  Testing.  This is a test.  The following is a test;  do not be alarmed."

ER-HM...

"MEOW!  Meow meow meow...  meow meow...  meow meow meow meow meow meow.   MEOW!"

How was that, Peepers?  How did I sound? Did you hear all my words?  Did you hear every meow?  Was I too loud?  Was I not loud enough?  Was my acting over the top?  Little overly dramatic?  Not dramatic enough?  Be honest with me, Peepers. What did you think?  Enquiring minds wanna know.

You thought what?  MOUSES!

Of all the nerve.  Hmmph.  MOUSES!

Okay.  I'll start all over again.

"Test.  Testing..."

Stop interrupting me, Peepers.  I'm trying to test out this microphone gadget thingy.  The problem is, I think, that this microphone is designed for peep ears and not cat ears.  My ears aren't able to hold it up properly so that I can speak into it the way one is supposed to.  That's why...

Again with the interruptions?  MOUSES!

No Peepers, THAT'S. NOT. IT.  That's not it at all.

I know!  Do you know what I need?  I need a different microphone.  I need one that will stand on the desk all by itself.  One that doesn't require peep ears to hold it up.  Peepers, you wanna run out and get me one of those?

Look Peepers, I already told you that that wasn't my problem.

Maybe my problem is my director slash stage manager slash tech support.  What do think about that, Peepers?   Huh?  You think my problem might be you?

NO.  Look Peepers, you're totally off base with this.  Like I said before, that is not my problem at all.  MOUSES!

You're interrupting me again?  Gosh you're persistent, Peepers.  Is persistence your middle name or something?  If I told you once, I've told you a million times.  That's not my problem.  My problem is not that I'm speaking cat.  MOUSES!

But of course my readers are able to understand me.  They read my blog, don't they?

What do you MEAN I have an accent?  MOUSES!

Look, there's nothing wrong my accent, Peepers. You have an accent, too, you know.  Everyone does.  It's all relative, you see.  And by relative I don't mean relatives like in family.  Different kind of relative, for sure.

Besides, my accent is absolutely adorable, if I do say so myself.

Oh.  Oh yeah...  Ooohh...  Hmmm...  I'm beginning to see your point, Peepers.  MOUSES!

It has been brought to my attention that when I write my blog posts in Peepified English, my feline accent doesn't come through in the writing.  Reading my words on the computer screen is one thing but hearing them is another.  Basically, when you hear me, what you hear are a whole lot of meows. Basically, what you hear are all meows.  MOUSES!

What to do...  What to do...

You think I should take some elocution classes or something, Peepers?  You wanna sign me up for some of those?

But what should I do in the meantime?  I mean...

I know!  I know exactly what I'll do and it's gonna be perfect, for sure.  MOUSES!

Peepers, I'm going to hire you to read my blog posts for me.  You think you can handle that?  You think that won't tax your brain too much?  What?  What's that, Peepers?  WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANNA BE PAID?  MOUSES!

As the peep and I work through the contractual details, why don't I leave you with this.  If you click right here on "cowabunga!"  - yeah, right there on the word cowabunga highlighted in red - you'll be magically transported to where the sounds are held in the clouds and you can hear Peep #1 reading my blog post with the same name.  She'll be reading it in Peepified English without any feline accent, she says.

And providing that my incredibly poor technical support team - otherwise known as Peep #1 - is able to remember how to make these audio posts, there will be more to follow.  MOUSES!