could be better

The service is okay, I guess.

I suppose.

But it could certainly be better.

WAY better.

Yup, the service could be WAY BETTER, for sure.

SO DON'T GET ALL COCKY THERE, PEEPERS, AND THINK YOU'RE DOIN' AN OKAY JOB.  YOU COULD DO WAY BETTER, YOU KNOW.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, my brekkies were late yesteray mornin'.  Saffy's were, too.  They were late, late, late.  LATE!  As in late.

MOUSES!

NO, it wasn't on account of the clock time change thingy.  That happened last weekend...  No, it happened the weekend before!  There's been plenty of time for everyone to adjust.

Plus, I don't believe brekkies were late the day the clocks actually changed.  Or the day after, either.  They were late yesterday.  As in the day before today.  Late.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, get this: Peepers is blamin' us cats.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

Now truth be told, it MIGHT have had somethin' to do with Saffy knockin' the alarm clock off the nightstand, causin' said alarm clock to no longer work.  At least not properly, anyway.

Work, that is.

But still...

But still, I'm thinkin' peeps should be prepared for that sorta thing.  I mean, it's not like cats are unknown to knock stuff off surfaces.  It's kinda what we do.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S UNKNOWN for things that have been knocked off surfaces to break and or no longer work.

So peeps should have a backup plan in place.

Havin' a backup plan would be the LOGICAL thing to do.

Of course, peeps aren't always all that logical.

Unlike us cats.

But if they were...

IF PEEPS WERE as logical as cats, they'd definitely have a backup plan in place SO THAT WHEN THE INEVITABLE HAPPENS and an alarm clock or two get knocked off a nightstand...

OUR BREKKIES DON'T END UP BEIN' LATE.

Know what I mean?

Of course you do.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

but one job

You had but one job, Saffy.  ONE job.

And you totally messed it up, for sure.

MOUSES!

Oh don't go complainin' to me 'bout havin' too much work to do 'round here.  You only have ONE job.  One as in one.  Not two.  Not three.  Just the one.

MOUSES!

Saffron, you're up at dawn every mornin'.  LITERALLY.  You're literally awake and up at dawn.

And I'm pretty sure you're sometimes up before then, too, but at least you have the decency to wait 'til the sun is up before startin' to make a lotta noise.  SOMETIMES.  Other times, you're up and about makin' enough noise to wake up the dead.

Or Peepers.

Or worse, ME.

MOUSES!

But my point is, Saffron, you're up with the sun most mornings, and with the sun risin' so early these days, you're up before Peepers.  Up before Peepers wants to be up, too.  Up before that darned alarm clock of hers starts ringin' and ringin' and ringin'.  AND RINGIN'.

Did I mention it rings?

MOUSES!

And that, Saffy Saffron Sassifras, brings me to the point of this here little talk we're havin' right now.  It brings me to the point.  The point which would be about...

That's right Saffy, my man...

Your job.

THE ONE AND ONLY JOB THAT YOU HAVE.

Your job which is to wait until Peepers' alarm clock goes off and then get right in there and start meowin' up a storm 'til she gets up and outta bed.

Allowin' us kitties to have brekkies at a reasonable hour.

So that we don't get too hungry, you see.

MOUSES!

But what did you do this mornin', ol' brother of mine?

Well I'll tell you what you DIDN'T do.  You didn't make sure Peepers got up after her alarm clock went off its dinger.  Instead, you allowed her to knock it off its block, roll over, and go back to sleep.

And as a result...

As a result, I, Seville the Cat, didn't get my brekkies 'til sometime past eight.  Way past eight, as a matter of fact.  Way, way, WAY past eight, to be sure.

Think it was 'bout ten minutes past, in fact.  Maybe even eleven.

I'm tellin' ya, I nearly starved.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.