I'm so lonely. So very, very lonely, feelin' like I'm all by myself, all alone on this big ol' planet called Earth.Nah, I'm really not. I'm not lonely at all. Although I was feelin' a small twinge of loneliness, just the other day.
Perhaps you are wonderin' what the peeps did - this time - to make me feel all alone. Actually, not much. Believe it or not, my personal peeps are not to blame, this time.
Oh sure, they've been busy and whatnot and I have been missin' out on some of my cuddle time but to be honest, I've kind of been enjoyin' the break. Sometimes I wonder 'bout the integrity of my fur when Peep #1 gets in one of her I-MUST-CUDDLE-NISSY moods. When she gets in one of those, there's so much cuddlin' and kissin' and chin ticklin' goin' on that it makes me wonder if she'll wear my fur right out. And off! Truth be told, it is a wonder that my fur hasn't been worn out already.
Luckily, my fur is still intact. But even if my fur has not yet been worn off, I know that I am sometimes worn out! Yup, it's true. Sometimes, I'm worn right out by the antics of the peep.
Well to be honest, what wears me out is not so much the cuddling overload, itself, but rather, my avoidance of such an overload. I must run from the peep whenever she gets that I'M-GONNA-CUDDLE-YOU gleam in her eye. The runnin' part is easy 'cause, as a cat, I'm far quicker on my paws than she is on her toes. It's the seeing-her-approaching-in-order-to-escape-in-time bit that's difficult.
In order to get away from a peep cuddle overload in time, one must see the peep comin'. One must see the aforementioned I'M-GONNA-CUDDLE-YOU gleam in her eyes. Do you have any idea how hard it is to see a peep comin' at you with a cuddle when you're nappin'? It's almost impossible, I tell you. Almost impossible, for sure. Believe me, I know. I know from experience. From far, far, far too much experience, if you know what I mean.
Bottom line is, the peeps are not to blame for my momentary twinge of loneliness.
Care to hazard a guess as to who is? Bet you can't. Bet you can't guess. Let me give you a hint. It has somethin' to do with those pesky impersonators of canned meat.
Oh, you did guess it. That's right, my temporary twinge of loneliness was due to those spammin' spammers who all go by the name of Mr. Anonymous Spam.
I have asked this question before but really, it bears askin' again. Who in the mouses names their kids Anonymous?
Apparently, a whole lot of peeps do and oddly enough, they all have the same last name which would be, yes, Spam. I'm thinkin' that their family might have taken the whole kissin' cousins idea a little too far, if you know what I mean. MOUSES!
For three years now, I have been stalked... Oh, you didn't hear 'bout that? Yeah, I had my third blogoversary the other day. Didn't make a big deal of it or anythin'. Peep #1 sent me a card. Had some nip. Well actually, I had a LOT of nip but you know, it was my blogoversary! What's a blogoversary without a little nip? MOUSES!
Anywho... For three years now, I have been stalked endlessly and mercilessly by those cousins named Spam. Mr. Anonymous Spam, to be exact. For three whole years they've been leavin' comment after comment on my blog.Not that I don't like gettin' comments. Oh no, I LOVE GETTIN' COMMENTS. But the best comments are comments that are left by my pals like all of you. Peeps and cats and other anipals who actually read my blog. Judgin' by the comments the ol' spammers leave, I highly doubt they read my blog at all. They just spam it.
In fact, I'm hopin' they don't read my blog 'cause to be honest, if they do, judgin' by those comments, they are some mightily confused peeps, for sure.
One day they'll be tellin' me that I need to post more pictures and videos. Fare enough, I suppose, although not likely to happen. The next day, Nonny - little nickname I made up for 'em - will be tellin' me I post too many videos which is odd 'cause I can count on one paw how many videos I've posted in the last three years. If that's too many... MOUSES!
Or Nonny will tell me how pleased he is 'bout my site loadin' really quickly and then, on the very same post, he'll say how it loads too slowly. Just goes to show you, there are some Nonnies, out there, you simply can't please.
And speakin' of not pleasin'. The Misters Spam are always commenting on the length of my posts. Of course, their opinions are divided there, too. 'Bout half of 'em complain that my posts are too long. The other half? They complain that my posts are too short! That I don't write enough about the things about which I write. That I need to elaborate more. Hmmm...
You know, when spammy spam-faced spammers start tellin' me that my blog posts are too short, it really is a dead giveaway that they've never read my blog 'cause let's be honest here, short is somethin' I just don't do. I've had a few pals comment on that fact, too. MOUSES!
Then there's all the advice this spammin' family likes to give. They're ALWAYS givin' me advice on how to write my blog. Some have even offered to write it for me, claiming they can do a better job. Can you believe it? Never gonna happen, though. I WRITE ALL MY OWN STUFF. Always have. Always will. MOUSES!
However, some of the other Nonnies are quite pleased with my writin' prowess. One of 'em even asked me if he could apprentice. I deleted that comment lickety-split, though, 'cause I really didn't wanna have to yell at anyone shoutin', "YOU'RE FIRED!" That's just not my style, you know?
But back to my momentary twinge of loneliness. The thing is, for the last two weeks or so, I haven't heard a cheep from those peeps goin' by the name of Mr Anonymous Spam. Nope, not a cheep nor a peep. Nothin'. Nadda. Naddadoodle. Okay, so naddadoodle isn't a real word but I'm really thinkin' that perhaps it should be. Naddadoodle... I kind of like the ring of that.
Anywho... Blogger appears to have been EXCELLING itself with the power to block the spammers. To be honest, this really is a very good thing. At least that's what I'm tellin' myself. I'm tellin' myself that Blogger has really upped it's game and is consistently hittin' home runs when it comes to the despamming of the blogosphere. Much better to believe that than to think that the family named Spam has all decided, all at once, that they just don't like me any more. MOUSES!
But never mind the Nonnies. I have way better pals than them. I have real pals. True friends. I have all of you! You're all my good friends, for sure. I appreciate each and every one of you 'cause to be honest, if it were not for all of you, there would be no point to my writin' this here blog. I WRITE IT FOR YOU!
But that reminds me... Ummm... Hmmm... Well...
Well I hate to ask but I'm gonna 'cause it's kind of important to me. Not as important as all of you, of course, but still important enough to make me wanna ask.
There's another series of bloggin' awards on the go. It's called the MiB Awards. Have you heard 'bout them? They're bein' presented by the peeps over at Made in Blog. You may have noticed their logo in my sidebar.
Anywho... I'm up for Best Humour Blog in the 2014 MiB Awards and I'd really, really, really appreciate your vote. Only one vote per peep, cat or other anipal is allowed from now until November 26th. At that point, the blogs in each category with the most votes will go to a jury and from those blogs, the jury will select the ones they deem best.
If you all would be ever-so-kind to consider votin' for me for Best Humour Blog, I would be ever-so-grateful. It's super easy to vote. Just click here to VOTE for NERISSA'S LIFE or over there on the right, on the picture for votin', in my sidebar. Either way, you'll be magically transported to the ballot box where you can cast your vote. Easiest votin' EVER!Oh gosh, would I ever love for Nerissa's Life to make it to the jury. Would you all please help me? Help me make that happen? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with nip on top?
As you can see, I am not above begging.
Again, please vote for Nerissa's Life in the MiB Awards. I NEED EVERY VOTE I CAN GET.
