I've been spammed!

I've been spammed. MOUSES!

I've heard of this kind of thing before.  I remember Nissy telling me about spammers on more than one occasion.  He had this stalker, you see.  Mr. Anonymous Spam was his name and spamming was his game. MOUSES!

Actually, spamming appears to still be his game because on the suggestion of the peep, I checked out the old spam folder here on my blog and you'll never believe what I found.  I FOUND SPAM!  As the third time is the charm... MOUSES!!!

There were so many.  Dozens upon dozens upon dozens.  Four, five, SIX dozen comments all left by Nissy's stalker, Mr. Anonymous Spam.  Apparently, he is now stalking me.  MOU...  Nah, three mouses are probably enough for now.

You'll be happy to know that I deleted them all but you'll be even happier to know that prior to deleting, I took some notes.  Not on all of them.  There were too many for that!  Just on some choice ones which I will now share with all of you.  So kick back, put your paws up and grab a nip beer.  This is going to be good.

"Very good article.  I will be facing some of these issues as well."   From reading this comment, we can assume that Mr. Anonymous Spam is a time traveller, like me.  Or should that be I?  Anyway, he will be facing some of the issues that Nissy and I faced when we travelled back in time to adjust the recipe for the very first pumpkin pie made by American settlers for the very first American Thanksgiving.

"Hi I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form."  Hmmm...  If I had one of those, I'd probably use it to stop Mr. Anonymous Spam from spamming me.  Something to think about, for sure.

"I was able to find good information from your articles."  Now this comment was left on Nissy's blog post about spies being everywhere.  I guess Mr. Spam is looking out for spies, too.  MOUSES!

"Thank you a lot for sharing this with all of us.  You actually understand what you are talking about!" Oh.  OH!  Nah, this one wasn't spam.  I do know what I'm talking about.  Nice to have someone recognize that.

"I'd like to send you an e-mail.  I've got some ideas for your blog." No thank you, Mr. Spam.  I WRITE ALL MY OWN STUFF!  Just like Nissy used to do.

"Howdy, I read your blog occasionally and I own a similar one and I was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments?  I get so much lately it's driving me insane." You and me both, brother. You and me both.  Hehehe...

"Every data is quality based data."  Now this is only funny when you take into account that it was left on Nissy's post about Peep #1 going without coffee for an entire day.  Yeah, twenty-four hours. Could you believe it?  Or perhaps it's not funny at all.  I mean, a coffeeless peep is incredibly scary. I know, I've seen it first-paw.  We cats have got to get the word out that peeps should never be allowed to go without coffee.  MOUSES!

"This post reminds me of my previous room mate!  He always kept talking about this."  Apparently, Mr. Anonymous Spam once lived with some guy who teleported to Ireland with his brother in search of four-leafed clovers being grown by leprechauns on clover farms so that they could bring some back to their peep.  MOUSES!

Nice to know that Mr. Spam found Nissy's post about nosey-neighbour-cat to be "equally educative and engaging."

"Galwanizarja zdecydowanic poprawic wlaseiwosci..."  What the mouses?

"You need to check the spelling of several of your posts.  Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very bothersome to inform the reality."  Oh yeah?  Well at least I used the corrrect words!  MOUSES!

What's more, did you read the previous comment you left?  What's a zdecydowanic?  Inquiring minds want to know.

"I do not understand how you are not actually much more smartly-preferred than you may be right now.  You're very intelligent!"  Well thank you, Mr. Spam. I appreciate that very much.

"Hey there!  Would you mind if f share your blog with my myspace group?"  Myspace still exists?  Who knew?

"Many persons are searching around for this information."  Yeah, lots of peeps and anipals out there want to know a lot more about nosey-neighbour-cat, for sure.

"Your website is loading extremely slow for me."  Well, you know, maybe you clicked on some spammy link left by an anonymous commenter going by the name of Spam and caught a bug or something.  Just saying...

"I'm curious to know how you centre yourself and clear your mind before writing."  Nip.  I take lots of nip.

"I do not know who you are but definitely you're going to be a famous blogger if you are not already." Oh, sorry.  That wasn't spam.  Found that inside a fortune cookie.  MOUSES!

"You're so awesome!"  Awww..  Thanks.  So nice of you to tell me that.

"Pengin beli Mancester city, Spartacos, ajax semua ready di toko ini..."  And again, you have the nerve to complain about my spelling errors?  MOUSES!

And finally, the piece de resistance.  Hmm...   I think there are supposed to be a couple of accents or something on those French words but I'll be darned if I know how to make that happen on this keyboard.  MOUSES!

Anyway, here's what Mr. Spam wrote as his parting comment.  "When I initially commented I clicked the 'notify me when new comments are added' checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails with the same comment."  Hmm...  Let's see...  Uh...  Actually, I think there is no explanation needed for this.

I did mention that Mr. Anonymous Spam left several dozen comments on my blog, didn't I?  All within the last little while?  And he's getting four e-mails per comment?  Hmm...  Four e-mails times several dozen...  THAT'S A WHOLE LOT OF E-MAILS!  Priceless, that is.  PRICELESS.

And speaking of comments.  I have a confession to make.

I LOVE reading comments from all of you.  I know that Nissy did, too.  I also know that Nissy made a point of visiting your blogs regularly.  I, on the other paw, haven't been visiting very much at all.

It's not that I don't want to!  I DO!  It's just that even though it has been a few weeks since my brother died, at my house, we're still coming to terms with his loss.  We're just still all kind of sad.

And when you're sad, sometimes you don't feel up to writing cute little comments, you know?  But I love reading them!  It's just really hard to write them.  I feel almost as if by doing so, I'm being too happy when I shouldn't be feeling happy at all because what I really should be doing is missing my brother, Nissy, and feeling sad.

I know I'm not explaining myself very well.  Nissy would do it better.  I'm still struggling. I had hoped that I would be up to visiting blogs and doing more on Twitter and Facebook this week but I now think I might need at least one more week before I can do that.  Just a tad more time.  That's all I need.

But I want you all to know that I LOVE YOU and that I will start visiting your blogs very soon.  I know that Nissy used to love reading your posts.  I'm positive that I will love doing so, too, as soon as I'm able.  And I want you all to know that I'm not ignoring you or somehow taking advantage of the situation and not bothering to visit.  It's not that I'm not bothering.  It's just that I'm still really sad.

Best I can do right now, I think, is make sure the blog posts continue to go up.  Well that, and mock Mr. Anonymous Spam.  Nissy always said he found mocking the old spammer extremely therapeutic and to be perfectly honest, he was right. Oh yeah, he was right about that, for sure.  In fact, I'm already feeling a little bit better after writing this post.  Another one of these and I should be good to go!  MOUSES!

Mouses and PURRS.

I'm so lonely

I'm so lonely.  So very, very lonely, feelin' like I'm all by myself, all alone on this big ol' planet called Earth.

Nah, I'm really not.  I'm not lonely at all. Although I was feelin' a small twinge of loneliness, just the other day.

Perhaps you are wonderin' what the peeps did - this time - to make me feel all alone. Actually, not much. Believe it or not, my personal peeps are not to blame, this time.

Oh sure, they've been busy and whatnot and I have been missin' out on some of my cuddle time but to be honest, I've kind of been enjoyin' the break.  Sometimes I wonder 'bout the integrity of my fur when Peep #1 gets in one of her I-MUST-CUDDLE-NISSY moods.  When she gets in one of those, there's so much cuddlin' and kissin' and chin ticklin' goin' on that it makes me wonder if she'll wear my fur right out.  And off!  Truth be told, it is a wonder that my fur hasn't been worn out already.

Luckily, my fur is still intact.  But even if my fur has not yet been worn off, I know that I am sometimes worn out!  Yup, it's true.  Sometimes, I'm worn right out by the antics of the peep.

Well to be honest, what wears me out is not so much the cuddling overload, itself, but rather, my avoidance of such an overload.  I must run from the peep whenever she gets that I'M-GONNA-CUDDLE-YOU gleam in her eye.  The runnin' part is easy 'cause, as a cat, I'm far quicker on my paws than she is on her toes.  It's the seeing-her-approaching-in-order-to-escape-in-time bit that's difficult.

In order to get away from a peep cuddle overload in time, one must see the peep comin'.  One must see the aforementioned I'M-GONNA-CUDDLE-YOU gleam in her eyes.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to see a peep comin' at you with a cuddle when you're nappin'?  It's almost impossible, I tell you.  Almost impossible, for sure.  Believe me, I know.  I know from experience.  From far, far, far too much experience, if you know what I mean.

Bottom line is, the peeps are not to blame for my momentary twinge of loneliness.

Care to hazard a guess as to who is?  Bet you can't.  Bet you can't guess.  Let me give you a hint. It has somethin' to do with those pesky impersonators of canned meat.

Oh, you did guess it.  That's right, my temporary twinge of loneliness was due to those spammin' spammers who all go by the name of Mr. Anonymous Spam.

I have asked this question before but really, it bears askin' again.  Who in the mouses names their kids Anonymous?

Apparently, a whole lot of peeps do and oddly enough, they all have the same last name which would be, yes, Spam.  I'm thinkin' that their family might have taken the whole kissin' cousins idea a little too far, if you know what I mean.  MOUSES!

For three years now, I have been stalked...  Oh, you didn't hear 'bout that?  Yeah, I had my third blogoversary the other day.  Didn't make a big deal of it or anythin'.  Peep #1 sent me a card.  Had some nip.  Well actually, I had a LOT of nip but you know, it was my blogoversary!  What's a blogoversary without a little nip?  MOUSES!

Anywho...  For three years now, I have been stalked endlessly and mercilessly by those cousins named Spam.  Mr. Anonymous Spam, to be exact.  For three whole years they've been leavin' comment after comment on my blog.

Not that I don't like gettin' comments. Oh no, I LOVE GETTIN' COMMENTS. But the best comments are comments that are left by my pals like all of you. Peeps and cats and other anipals who actually read my blog.  Judgin' by the comments the ol' spammers leave, I highly doubt they read my blog at all. They just spam it.

In fact, I'm hopin' they don't read my blog 'cause to be honest, if they do, judgin' by those comments, they are some mightily confused peeps, for sure.

One day they'll be tellin' me that I need to post more pictures and videos.  Fare enough, I suppose, although not likely to happen.  The next day, Nonny - little nickname I made up for 'em - will be tellin' me I post too many videos which is odd 'cause I can count on one paw how many videos I've posted in the last three years.  If that's too many...  MOUSES!

Or Nonny will tell me how pleased he is 'bout my site loadin' really quickly and then, on the very same post, he'll say how it loads too slowly.  Just goes to show you, there are some Nonnies, out there, you simply can't please.

And speakin' of not pleasin'.  The Misters Spam are always commenting on the length of my posts. Of course, their opinions are divided there, too.  'Bout half of 'em complain that my posts are too long.  The other half?  They complain that my posts are too short!  That I don't write enough about the things about which I write.  That I need to elaborate more.  Hmmm...

You know, when spammy spam-faced spammers start tellin' me that my blog posts are too short, it really is a dead giveaway that they've never read my blog 'cause let's be honest here, short is somethin' I just don't do.  I've had a few pals comment on that fact, too.  MOUSES!

Then there's all the advice this spammin' family likes to give.  They're ALWAYS givin' me advice on how to write my blog.  Some have even offered to write it for me, claiming they can do a better job. Can you believe it?  Never gonna happen, though.  I WRITE ALL MY OWN STUFF.  Always have. Always will.  MOUSES!

However, some of the other Nonnies are quite pleased with my writin' prowess.  One of 'em even asked me if he could apprentice.  I deleted that comment lickety-split, though, 'cause I really didn't wanna have to yell at anyone shoutin', "YOU'RE FIRED!"  That's just not my style, you know?

But back to my momentary twinge of loneliness.  The thing is, for the last two weeks or so, I haven't heard a cheep from those peeps goin' by the name of Mr Anonymous Spam.  Nope, not a cheep nor a peep.  Nothin'.  Nadda.  Naddadoodle.  Okay, so naddadoodle isn't a real word but I'm really thinkin' that perhaps it should be.  Naddadoodle...  I kind of like the ring of that.

Anywho...  Blogger appears to have been EXCELLING itself with the power to block the spammers. To be honest, this really is a very good thing.  At least that's what I'm tellin' myself.  I'm tellin' myself that Blogger has really upped it's game and is consistently hittin' home runs when it comes to the despamming of the blogosphere.  Much better to believe that than to think that the family named Spam has all decided, all at once, that they just don't like me any more.  MOUSES!

But never mind the Nonnies.  I have way better pals than them.  I have real pals.  True friends.  I have all of you!  You're all my good friends, for sure.  I appreciate each and every one of you 'cause to be honest, if it were not for all of you, there would be no point to my writin' this here blog.  I WRITE IT FOR YOU!

But that reminds me...  Ummm...  Hmmm...  Well...

Well I hate to ask but I'm gonna 'cause it's kind of important to me.  Not as important as all of you, of course, but still important enough to make me wanna ask.

There's another series of bloggin' awards on the go.  It's called the MiB Awards.  Have you heard 'bout them?  They're bein' presented by the peeps over at Made in Blog.  You may have noticed their logo in my sidebar.

Anywho...  I'm up for Best Humour Blog in the 2014 MiB Awards and I'd really, really, really appreciate your vote.  Only one vote per peep, cat or other anipal is allowed from now until November 26th.  At that point, the blogs in each category with the most votes will go to a jury and from those blogs, the jury will select the ones they deem best.

If you all would be ever-so-kind to consider votin' for me for Best Humour Blog, I would be ever-so-grateful.  It's super easy to vote.  Just click here to VOTE for NERISSA'S LIFE or over there on the right, on the picture for votin', in my sidebar.  Either way, you'll be magically transported to the ballot box where you can cast your vote. Easiest votin' EVER!

Oh gosh, would I ever love for Nerissa's Life to make it to the jury.  Would you all please help me?  Help me make that happen?  Please?  Pretty please? Pretty please with nip on top?

As you can see, I am not above begging.

Again, please vote for Nerissa's Life in the MiB Awards.  I NEED EVERY VOTE I CAN GET.