the changin' of the clocks

Don't make me smacky-paw you, Peepers.  Don't make me smacky-paw you!  Don't you dare make me.

Oh come on, Peepers.  Come on...  I don't WANT to smacky-paw you, you know, but if I have to...

If I have to...

If I have to, I will.

MOUSES!

Peepers.  PEEPERS.  PEEPERS!!!

Lookie here, Peepers, the clock may very well say it's only seven in the mornin', BUT MY TUMMY is sayin' somethin' totally different.  MY TUMMY is sayin' it's already eight.

AND MY TUMMY IS ALSO sayin', it's time for my brekkies, for sure.

MOUSES!

Yeah, yeah...  Daylight Saving Time came to an end, overnight, and we're back on the ol' Standard Time thing-a-ma-jiggy.  I know all about that.  This isn't my first rodeo, you know.

But the thing is...

The thing is, even though I know all 'bout the clocks fallin' back overnight, I guess no one told my tummy.

Which is why...

Which is why, my tummy is rumblin' and grumblin' and wonderin' where-oh-where is its breakfast.

MOUSES!

Don't you just roll over in bed and ignore me, Peepers.  Don't you dare.

What?  What's that?  What's that your mumblin' on about now?

You say you're TRYIN' to ignore me but with all my rantin' and ravin', I'm really kinda difficult to ignore?

Hmmm...

Good.

MOUSES!

So hop to it, Peepers.  Get up off your lazy ol' tail and get me my brekkies.

Please.

Never hurts to be polite.

MOUSES!

And while you're at it, there, Peepers, why not throw in a few extra treats on account of my brekkies bein' a full hour late.

Watch your language, there, Peepers.  I have very sensitive ears.

MOUSES!

And also, while you're at it, perhaps you could...

Again with the inappropriate language.

MOUSES!

WHAT DOES A KITTY HAVE TO DO 'ROUND HERE FOR SAID KITTY TO BE SERVED HIS BREAKFAST?

MOUSES!

Yeah, yeah...  Don't worry your pretty little head off.  I know, I know...  I'm addin' the disclaimer, right now.

Disclaimer: Even though I, Seville the Cat, WAS pretty annoyed to have my brekkies served late this mornin', due to the return of Standard Time, that is where my annoyance ended.  I'll be more than happy to have an extra hour of daily evenin' cuddle time on the chesterfield startin' tonight.  After all, there's no point in stayin' out after dark, especially in late fall and winter when it's all cold and whatnot.  And I'm also pleased that startin' tomorrow, I won't be havin' to beg and plead to go outside for my first pee before the sun is up in the mornin'.  I mean, Daylight Saving Time (aka Summer Time) was great when the sun was up at 5:30 in the mornin', 'CAUSE THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO NEED for it to be light at 4:30!  But last week, with the days growin' shorter, the sun was sleepin' in 'til eight in the mornin' and Peepers was makin' me wait 'til it got up and dressed before lettin' me out.  There's nothin' worse than havin' to wait for the sun to come out before bein' allowed to go outside for a pee.  Nothin' worse, at all!  But now that...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're mumblin' on about now?

My disclaimer is somewhat longwinded?

Hmmm...

She and I must have different definitions of somewhat.

Peepers, love me, love my longwindedness.

You'd best love my adorable cheekiness, too.

MOUSES!

and he's off!

"Hey Peepers!  Rushy's at the front door, wantin' in.  Oh, and by the way?  Andy is lookin' to get out.  MOUSES!"

Then I sat back on my haunches and got ready to enjoy the show.

And THEN I chided myself for not bringin' popcorn.

MOUSES!

I looked about before singin' to the peep, "Andy's to the left of me, Rushy's to the right.  Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.  MOUSES!"

The peep just looked at me like I was crazy or somethin'.

Yeah, like I'M the one who's crazy.  Right.  Look who's talkin'.

MOUSES!

"Oh PEE-pers..." I sang.  "You're gonna have to be quick if you wanna get Rushy in without Andy gettin' out.  I know it's already dark out there, but Andy thinks he can still go outside.  Says it's only six-thirty.  He SAYS, six-thirty isn't nighttime yet.  I think he's forgotten 'bout that ol' time change thingy, and..."

And that, my friends, was the moment Andy dashed outside.  He dashed out - Right between the peep's legs! - and trotted down the front path.

And THAT, my friends, was the moment both the jokers AND the clowns were over to my right.

MOUSES!

Pointin' to Andy's rear end headin' off into the night, I asked, "Whatcha gonna do 'bout that?"

Peep #1 answered my question by dartin' out after Andy, scoopin' him up, and bringin' him back inside.

But RUSHY was still out on the veranda, and makin' no attempt to come indoors.  Oh sure, he wanted to come in, but he does this thing now where he walks toward the door, and then stops a few paw steps away, makin' the peep go outside to get him.

FYI, this does NOT go over well in the dead of winter.

MOUSES!

So with Andy back inside, I was once again stuck betwixt and between a joker and a clown.  Yup, stuck right there in the middle, with the peep.

MOUSES!

"You know," and I tugged on the peep's pant leg, "the moment you open the door again for Rushy, Andy's gonna be dartin' right past..."

AND HE'S OFF!

Yup, off to the races, for sure.  But THIS time, at a run, not merely a trot.

MOUSES!

But the peep, bein' a peep, persevered, and she, too, was off like a dart.

A slow-movin' dart, of course, on account of her bein' just a peep.

MOUSES!

Moments later, Peep #1 returned with one very annoyed clown...  I mean, Andy, under one arm.  Next thing I knew, she was bendin' down to pick up the other clown...   I mean, joker.  No, what I REALLY mean is, Rushton.

MOUSES!

"DON'T DO IT!" I cried.  "NO, PEEPERS.  NO!!!  That's too much weight.  No mere peep can pick up two long-haired freakishly large - most likely Maine Coon - marmies at one time.  IT SIMPLY CANNOT BE DONE."

But the peep, bein' a peep, ignored my warnings and with one freak...  I mean, brother, under each arm, she toddled inside like a drunken sailor carrying her stash of liquid nip.

And what do you do with THAT?

No, SERIOUSLY.  What do you do with a drunken sailor?  I mean, there are plenty of suggestions 'bout dealin' with them in the early mornin', but after the sun has set?  Not a single one.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, with both long-haired marmie freaks indoors for the night, and a peep who was no longer strugglin' to carry said freaks, I picked myself up off the floor and made my way into the kitchen.  Clearly, Act I of the evening's Marmie Freak Show was over, and durin' intermission, a cat needs his snacks.

MOUSES!