So she came home, yesterday...
STINKIN' OF CUTE.
MOUSES!
For the love of mouses, Peepers, what is it that I smell?
NO, I, SEVILLE THE CAT, DO NOT SMELL.
I mean...
Well...
Hmmm...
Okay, I mean, I do smell. I mean, I CAN smell. My nose is in perfect workin' order, for sure, which is why...
Which is why...
Which is why, when I fire up the ol' sniffer, the ol' sniffer is tellin' me that YOU, ol' peep of mine, smell.
Stink is more like it.
STINKIN' OF CUTE.
MOUSES!
Not that YOU'RE cute, or anythin' like that. As you know, Peepers, we've had this discussion before. It's really not your fault. The thing is, when you live in a house with Saffy and me, for cuteness, you simply cannot compare. On a scale of one to ten, if Saffy and I are ten...
Scratch that.
Okay,on a scale of one to ten, if I, Seville the Cat, am a ten, Saffy would be 'bout an eight. Maybe nine. Yeah, I'll give him a nine, for sure. But you?
You?
I've taken a poll, Peepers, and you're 'bout a good minus sixty-one.
Maybe a bit less.
MOUSES!
But it's really... Well, it's just that cuteness is a relative thing.
MOUSES!
But yesterday, Peepers. YESTERDAY! Well, yesterday, you came home STINKIN' OF CUTE.
Which is so very unlike you.
Which is why, of course, I was bound to notice.
MOUSES!
That's right, Peepers. That's right! I was out on the deck when I saw you climbin' the stairs, and immediately my sniffer started sniffin'. My sniffer - which like I said earlier, is in PERFECT workin' order - detected the aroma of cuteness permeating the air. Yup, undeniable cuteness, for sure. And the thing is...
The thing is...
The thing is, said cuteness had not rubbed off on you, from me. Not from Saffron, either. The cuteness was neither of Seville nor Saffy origin; AND I, FOR ONE, AM TOTALLY DISGUSTED BY THAT.
MOUSES!
PEEPERS, WHO THE MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSES WERE YOU HANGIN' OUT WITH THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN SO DARNED IRRESISTABLY CUTE AS TO LEAVE YOU SURROUNDED BY THICK CLOUDS OF PERTETUAL CUTENESS?
WHO?
WHO?
WHO?
MOUSES!
Peanut and Tia, you say?
Peanut and Tia, two cutie-pie cuties of the feline persuasion?
Two cutie-pie cuties who are still young kittenish kittens?
BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR KITTEN, PEEPERS. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ME.
Senior kitten, but still...
PEEPERS, WHO TOLD YOU IT WAS OKAY TO CHEAT ON SAFFY AND ME BY SPENDIN' TIME WITH OTHER CUTIE-PIE KITTENS?
I know it wasn't me.
MOUSES!
Gosh darn it, that cuteness those kitties were exudin' was so strong, even I, Seville the Cat, am gonna wanna meet 'em.
Cuteness that was not of my makin'.
A cat can't win for tryin'.
MOUSES!
Dang, did you get photographic cute proof Seville?!?!
ReplyDeleteI didn't, I'm afraid. I wasn't even there! But I could smell the cuteness they rubbed off on the peep. Pure cuteness, for sure. purrs
DeleteKittens can't help being cute.
ReplyDeleteSeems to be true. My peeps never knew either Saffron or myself as young kittens. Bet we were darned cute. purrs
DeleteWah oh, Seville!
ReplyDeleteI know! *sighs* purrs
Deletedood…well…now ya gotta ask….iz peepurrz bringin HOME….sum wee kittenz 🐾🙀‼️💚🐾
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope not! Hard to compete with that much cute, you know? Besides, I'm pretty sure those kitties already have a super duper lovin' home. PURRS
DeleteHow DARE your peep bring that cute stink into your house, Sivvers. The nerve!
ReplyDeleteSeriously. Everywhere she went, she was droppin' cute molecules all over. I breathed 'em in AND THEN I started sneezin' cute. MOUSES!
DeleteHmmm, sounds like someone is cheating on you, Seville. On the other hand - maybe you are going to get a new brofur and/or sisfur?
ReplyDeleteYup, ol' Peepers is cheatin' on me, for sure. Luckily though, I'm pretty sure those kittens have a really good lovin' home, all of their own. Good thing, too. Not sure if I could compete with the cute. MOUSES!
DeleteYou could compete with ANYONE, Sivvers!
DeleteIf these kittens are so dang cute, we want to meet them. And then, we can decide for ourselves if they could possible be as cute as you or Saffy. Is there a reason your and daffy's cuteness does not wear off or surround Peepers? Inquiring minds want to know. XOCK, angels Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid & Sawyer, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Kizmet, Audrey, Raleigh, Gibbs & Tali
ReplyDeleteNow THAT is a good question, for sure. Hmmm... Maybe it does. Maybe our cuteness DOES rub off on Peepers but we just can't smell our own cute. MOUSES!
DeleteAw, shucks, she didn't even tell you she was going there so you could snoopervise the amount of cheating she was doing to get all that cute stinkiness on her?!
ReplyDeleteSorry I am so late. You are definitely a 10. I hope the peep made it up to you with some nip. XO
ReplyDeleteOh, Seville, are you totally nipped, or is there really some stinky cuteness coming over at your place😺Double Pawkisses for a Happy Day to you and your peepers too🐾😽💞
ReplyDeleteThe great thing about cute is that it grows up pretty quick. But at least felines look nicer grown than most human babies. Have you thought about starting a 'no need to shave aftershave for cats. The scent of cuteness that will win the heart of home loving cats such as you and Saffy?
ReplyDeleteToodle pips and purrs
ERin