So she came home, yesterday...
STINKIN' OF CUTE.
MOUSES!
For the love of mouses, Peepers, what is it that I smell?
NO, I, SEVILLE THE CAT, DO NOT SMELL.
I mean...
Well...
Hmmm...
Okay, I mean, I do smell. I mean, I CAN smell. My nose is in perfect workin' order, for sure, which is why...
Which is why...
Which is why, when I fire up the ol' sniffer, the ol' sniffer is tellin' me that YOU, ol' peep of mine, smell.
Stink is more like it.
STINKIN' OF CUTE.
MOUSES!
Not that YOU'RE cute, or anythin' like that. As you know, Peepers, we've had this discussion before. It's really not your fault. The thing is, when you live in a house with Saffy and me, for cuteness, you simply cannot compare. On a scale of one to ten, if Saffy and I are ten...
Scratch that.
Okay,on a scale of one to ten, if I, Seville the Cat, am a ten, Saffy would be 'bout an eight. Maybe nine. Yeah, I'll give him a nine, for sure. But you?
You?
I've taken a poll, Peepers, and you're 'bout a good minus sixty-one.
Maybe a bit less.
MOUSES!
But it's really... Well, it's just that cuteness is a relative thing.
MOUSES!
But yesterday, Peepers. YESTERDAY! Well, yesterday, you came home STINKIN' OF CUTE.
Which is so very unlike you.
Which is why, of course, I was bound to notice.
MOUSES!
That's right, Peepers. That's right! I was out on the deck when I saw you climbin' the stairs, and immediately my sniffer started sniffin'. My sniffer - which like I said earlier, is in PERFECT workin' order - detected the aroma of cuteness permeating the air. Yup, undeniable cuteness, for sure. And the thing is...
The thing is...
The thing is, said cuteness had not rubbed off on you, from me. Not from Saffron, either. The cuteness was neither of Seville nor Saffy origin; AND I, FOR ONE, AM TOTALLY DISGUSTED BY THAT.
MOUSES!
PEEPERS, WHO THE MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSES WERE YOU HANGIN' OUT WITH THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN SO DARNED IRRESISTABLY CUTE AS TO LEAVE YOU SURROUNDED BY THICK CLOUDS OF PERTETUAL CUTENESS?
WHO?
WHO?
WHO?
MOUSES!
Peanut and Tia, you say?
Peanut and Tia, two cutie-pie cuties of the feline persuasion?
Two cutie-pie cuties who are still young kittenish kittens?
BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR KITTEN, PEEPERS. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ME.
Senior kitten, but still...
PEEPERS, WHO TOLD YOU IT WAS OKAY TO CHEAT ON SAFFY AND ME BY SPENDIN' TIME WITH OTHER CUTIE-PIE KITTENS?
I know it wasn't me.
MOUSES!
Gosh darn it, that cuteness those kitties were exudin' was so strong, even I, Seville the Cat, am gonna wanna meet 'em.
Cuteness that was not of my makin'.
A cat can't win for tryin'.
MOUSES!
