paw pats

Yeah, fine.  Fine, I said.  FINE.

Yeah, even I have to admit it: it was pretty cute.

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But you know what would have been a whole lot cuter, Peepers?  Do you?  DO you?  'Cause I can tell you what would.  I can tell you that it would have been A WHOLE LOT CUTER, had it been me.

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*sighs*

So Peepers was standin' in the family room the other day, twiddlin' her thumbs.

Well, I'm assumin' she was twiddlin' her thumbs on account of my not seein' her doin' anythin' that could possibly be construed as bein' useful AND, bein' a peep, she HAS thumbs.  And you know peeps: THEY LIKE SHOW OFF THE FACT THEY HAVE OPPOSEABLE THUMBS.

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So anyway...

So anyway, there Peepers was, standin' in the family room showin' off the fact that she has a couple opposeable thumbs when Saffy Saffron Sassasfras came along and stood right beside her.  Then Saffy reached out with one paw and gently tapped Peepers on the leg.

Yup, that's just what he did.  He reached out a paw and without usin' claws or anythin' like that, he very softly went tap, tap, tap on her leg.  Yup, three whole soft tappity tap tap taps.

And as both peeps saw this happenin', the room was then filled with oohs and ahs and oh-isn't-that-cute kinda things.

But I still say it would have been a whole lot cuter had it been me.

Plus, I don't know if you all know this or not, but Saffy often bites Peepers on the leg.

Yup, you heard that correctly.  He BITES the peep on the leg.

Never hard, mind you.  He never breaks the skin.  But nevertheless, a bite is a bite is a bite.

And sometimes what he's really bitin' is her pant leg but nevertheless, like I said, a bite is a bite is a bite.

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And this brings me to the unfairness of the whole thing.  You see, I, Seville the Cat, have never ever EVER bitten Peepers on the...

Okay, there was that one time way back when, but that really wasn't my fault.

I don't think.

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But back to the point at paw.  You see, the peeps are probably comparin' those gentle paw pats Saffy gave Peepers to his regular ol' puttin'-on-the-bitey kinda thing.  And when you're comparin' paw pats to bites and stuff like that...

Well...

Well, just about ANYTHIN' is gonna be considered cute compared to a bite on the leg.

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It's just not fair, my friends.  It's just not fair!  If I were to gently paw pat Peepers like that, IT WOULD BE WAY CUTER, for sure.  But because the peeps wouldn't be comparin' my paw pats to a good chompin' gone awry, they wouldn't be oohin' and ahhin' and...

Wait a minute...

I know!  I know just what I should do.  I should start puttin' the bitey on Peepers, too!

That'll teach 'em to ooh and ah over Saffy and neglect oohin' and ahhin' over me.

Oh my gosh I'm one smart cat.

MOUSES!