Wednesday, 27 March 2024

interlopin' antelope


Gosh darn it, Peepers, we've got some interlopers, for sure.


And FYI, you're gonna have to do somethin' about that.


MOUSES!


What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?


Interlopers.  You know, interlopers.  Someone or somethin' who worms their way into somethin' or somewhere where they're not wanted.  Interlopers.  Do I have to explain everythin' to you?


MOUSES!


Wait a minute.  Now that I think about it...


Now that I think about it, they weren't actually interlopers.  They were antelope.  Yeah, it was antelope that I meant.


Silly me.


MOUSES!


But now that we've cleared all that up, it would be best for you to start dealin' with those antelope right now.  If they start playin' around here, they'll wreck havoc with my nip plants, come spring.


And then they'll be interlopin' antelope, for sure.


MOUSES!


What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?


We don't have antelope here?


Hmmm...


Nope, I'm pretty sure you're wrong 'bout that, there, ol' peep of mine.  Which, when you think about it, is somethin' you're probably used to by now.


Bein' wrong, I mean.


MOUSES!


But like I was sayin', you're gonna have to deal with those antelope.  Let 'em know they should play ELSEWHERE.


MOUSES!


And while you're at it, you could...


Oh what the mouses are you gripin' about now?


Like I said, Peepers, there were antelope.  Right out there in our yard.  Well technically, they weren't in the yard.  YET.  They were still out on the road when I saw 'em, but chances are they were on their way into our yard.  Which would be fine if they would confine their munchin' to YOUR plants and stuff, but I'm worried 'bout my nip plants, you see, and...


WHAT THE MOUSES ARE YOU GRIPIN' ABOUT NOW?


Hmmm...


Hmmm....


Well...


Well yeah, I suppose they COULD have been deer.  A big ol' horde of antelope-impostering, hungry ol' deer.


IMPOSTERING IS TOO AN ACTUAL WORD.


I used it in a sentence and everythin'.


MOUSES!


FINE.  What I saw out there early this mornin' MIGHT have been three or four deer, and not an actual horde.


BUT THEY STILL COULD GET INTO MY NIP PLANTS, COME SPRING.


So best you do somethin' about them now.


Like what?  Well, I don't know.  Offer 'em up an alternative menu of tulips and roses like you did last year.  I'm sure if you feed 'em enough of your silly ol' flowers, they'll leave my precious catnip alone.


Seriously, I really do have to explain everythin' to you, Peepers, don't I.


Not a question.  It's a statement of fact.


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.




15 comments:

  1. Seville, she obviously hasn't considered the havoc those deer could cause if they got high on your catnip!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my mouses! I never even thought about that. Then they'd get the munchies and go after all her stupid flowers, for sure.

      Although on the other paw... If they were to eat the stupid flowers, there would be way more room for growin' the nip.

      MOUSES!

      Delete
    2. Goos luck, keeping the interlopers out is hard work for a little cat but I know you can do it.

      Delete
    3. Too true. We cats can do ANYTHIN'. purrs

      Delete
  2. That really is home on the range...for the antelope that is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, as long as they know it's MY home. I'm already sharin' it with Saffron and a couple of peeps. MOUSES!

      Delete
    2. YOU tell it, Seville! Punch 'em in the eyes and cross their T's!!!

      Delete
  3. I hope they stay away from your nip. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, my friend. Me too. Last thing we need is a horde of nipped up deer with the munchies. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Anything to save the nip plants!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously! My nip plants are the most precious crop a kitty can have. MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. Hmm. Maybe they were "antelopers," Sivvers! And we think maybe you need some directional signage to steer them away from your nip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Directional signage... That's a WONDERFUL idea! Signs directing 'em to PEEPERS' plants and away from mine. MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. A big, Antelope/deer/moose sign that says nothing edible here - try next door, might just sway them pesky hooved beasties away from your plants?
    Failing that, maybe play really bad music and wailing.... Or a sound track of their natural predators.
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
  7. Fox urine scares rabbits away....not sure what would scare off deer....or antelope as you called them, teehee!
    Maybe a very TALL fence! No deer have tried to jump over our 5 foot tall fence here.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.