the face

Hey Saffy, what's with the face?

What face?  That face.  YOUR face, to be exact.

MOUSES!

Yeah, yeah...  Yeah, I know Peepers is always talkin' about how good-lookin' you are, and sayin' stuff about how you're such a beautiful and handsome kitty.  And I can understand how you'd think that would mean you have a lovely face, but...

Well...

Well normally you do, to tell you the truth.  Normally you do have a very lovely face, indeed.  After all, you are related to ME, and handsomeness does kinda run in our family, but...

Well...

Well right now...  Right at this moment...

Right at this moment, your face is lookin' kinda pained.

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN', ol' brother of mine: you keep makin' that pained-lookin' face and it's gonna stick that way for eternity.  And you most certainly don't want that, on account of a pained-lookin' face not bein' up to snuff when it comes to the expectations I have for family resemblances and stuff, when it comes to MY fur-sibs.

MOUSES!

Oh Saffy, you're not IN pain, are you?  'Cause if you're in pain, havin' a pained face is perfectly reasonable, I suppose.  So if you are in pain, I must apologise for makin' fun of...

Well...

Your face.

MOUSES!

What's that?

You WHAT?

Oh for mousin' out loud, Saffron.  Saffy, you don't have to give Peepers a bath.  She's perfectly capable of bathin' herself.  There's no need for either one of us to start lickin' her hands or anythin' like that.

That's just gross, that is.  Gross.

MOUSES!

Why?  Because you never know what Peepers' hands have been doin' prior to your licking 'em, that's why.  You never know just how dirty they are.

Now, had she been diggin' in the garden, that wouldn't be so bad, I suppose.  I mean, dirt is dirt, right?  And we kitties do like rollin' around in the dirt.

And had she been preparin' a nice steak or somethin', I guess that wouldn't be too bad, either.  As cats, we like things like steak.  But need I remind you that Peepers is a veggie and as a vegetarian she never prepares things like steak?  Odds of her hands bein' dirty with the juices of steak are pretty slim, to be sure.

No, it's far more likely that if you lick the peep's hands, you'll end up lickin' hand cream or perfume or somethin' really, REALLY gross like...  SOAP.  No kitty ever wants to end up with a mouth full of soap.  Bleh.  BLEH!  Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, BLEH.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that?  What's that, Saffron, my man?

You say you thought the hand cream she had put on her hands might taste like actual cream, but instead it tasted like flowers?

Ewww...   GROSS.

Well then it's no wonder you're makin' that face.

Saffy you need to go rinse your mouth out in the water bowl, straight away, and then go upchuck in the peep's best pair of shoes.

'CAUSE UPCHUCKIN' IN SHOES IS FUN, that's why.  There's no need to wait until you actually have somethin' to upchuck.

Do I have to explain everythin' to you?

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.