we need to talk

Peepers, we need to talk.

MOUSES!

'Bout what, you ask?  Nothin' in particular, really.  Whatever you like.  I just find the sound of your voice to be dull and borin' enough that it puts me to sleep.  And I was havin' a hard time gettin' to sleep, you see.  So I thought hearin' your dull and borin' voice might be of help.

MOUSES!

Soothing?  Soothing?  CALMING?  What about what is supposed to be calming and soothing?

NO, I said the sound of your voice is dull and boring.  Not once did I mention soothin' or calmin' or anythin' like that.  Dull.  Boring.  Those are the words that were said.  

AGAIN, PEEPERS, the sound of your voice is dull and boring.  BORING.  Dull and boring, I said.  Nothing 'bout nothin' was said about soothing.  Nothing 'bout calming, either.

And speakin' of calmin' and soothin'...

And speakin' of calmin' and soothin', Peepers, this conversation is neither of those.  Why, the more you talk 'bout those things, MAKIN' FALSE CLAIMS 'bout what I have said, the more I am findin' myself LESS calmed and LESS soothed and LESS LIKELY to fall fast asleep.

MOUSES!

PUT THAT THESAURUS DOWN, PEEPERS.  It's not gonna help you, anyway.  Dull and borin' do not soothing mean.

AND THEY DON'T MEAN CALMING, EITHER.

MOUSES!

Good grief, Peepers, here I am, a weary little kitty in dire need of an afternoon nap.  All I wanted was to hear the sound of your dull and borin' voice, thinkin' that might help me sleep.  All I wanted was for us to have a little chat with the majority of the talkin' bein' done by you in that dull and borin' voice of yours, hopin' it would lull me to sleep!

But the longer this conversation goes on...

THE HARDER AND HARDER IT IS FOR ME TO FALL FAST ASLEEP.

MOUSES!

I thought I told you to put that stupid thesaurus down.

MOUSES!

Okay.  Fine.  Let's just look up the words dull and borin' in that book in your hand.  But word of warnin', Peepers, it's not gonna give the the results you have in mind.

Boring.  Here it is.  Tedious, monotonous, and stupid.  Not to mention humdrum.

And now for the synonyms of dull.  Tiresome, wearisome, and dry as dust.  Dry as dust...  Mouses, I kinda like that one.

SO ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW, PEEPERS?  SATISFIED NOW?

There I was, thinkin' the sound of your stupid ol' humdrum and monotonous, wearisome, dry as dust voice would lull me to sleep.

Boy-oh-boy was I ever wrong.

Any more of this conversation AND I'LL NEVER be able to get any sleep.

Pfft, the peep thinks the sound of her voice has a calmin' affect.

DO I LOOK LIKE A CALM KITTY TO YOU?

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.