Wednesday 17 May 2023

of all the...


Of all the...


MOUSES!


Of all the mousin', moused-up, stupid things...


MOUSES!



Peepers, just what the mouses do you think you are doin'?


Did I hear correctly?  Are you seriously puttin' perfume on us cats?  Perfume?  PERFUME?  Are you seriously puttin' perfume on Saffy and me?


'Cause if you are...


'Cause if you are tryin' to put perfume on Saffy and me, I want you to know in no uncertain terms that as cats, WE DO NOT WEAR STINKY OL' PERFUME.  Stinky ol' perfume is reserved for stinky ol' peeps, who probably need to wear it in order to cover up their general...


Well, you know...


Stink.


Yes Peepers, I am well aware you wear perfume all the time.


I rest my case.


MOUSES!


But let me remind you: as a cat, I DO NOT WEAR STINKY PERFUME.


Okay, so there was that one time.  But in my defence, I was pretty nipped up when it happened.  AND HOW WAS I TO KNOW those clothes I was nappin' on had the remnants of perfumery stink?


Took me ages to wash off that rose-smellin' smell.


MOUSES!


But back to the topic at paw.  Saffron has told me you caught him and held him and applied stinky perfume to the back of his neck.  AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN', ol' peep of mine: Saffy was none-to-pleased 'bout the experience, to be sure.


Plus...  Now...  He stinks.


Or so I've been told.


MOUSES!


You were what?


Oh.


Well that's not too bad, I suppose.  I had noticed Saffy was scratchin' and stuff and yeah, I DID FIGURE it could be on account of his encounterin' fleas.  Or ticks.  Or ticks with fleas.


Do ticks even get fleas?


No matter.  Yeah, I had noticed all that.  So I guess one might say it's a good thing you dabbed him with the flea stuff on the back of his neck.  After all, if Saffy were to get fleas, he might give 'em to me and I don't want anyone givin' me fleas.


Not even my brother.


MOUSES!


Peepers, why are you lookin' at me like that?


Peepers, why is there a gleam in your eyes?


PEEPERS, WHAT ARE YOU...


WHY ARE YOU...


Gosh darn it, now I've been dabbed on the back of the neck.


Now I'M gonna stink, too!


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!



6 comments:

  1. A little stink is worth it to not have fleas. :)

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  2. Dude, so sorry to read that you'd been dabbed!!!

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  3. Perfume?!?! That is something to raise a stink over!!!

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  4. MOUSES! In this case, we suppose stinking is the better option, Sivvers. Just say no to fleas and ticks!

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  5. She got you in the end then, did she, Seville. We have a rule in these parts that ONLY my consultant dabs me, and even then there is a risk of blood. Of course, for a small fee, I'm willing be dabbed with all manner of tasty things. BUT, do they ever offer me cash for flea treatment? NOPE!
    No wonder I'm broke most of the time. At least I'm flea free!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.