Wednesday 19 April 2023

what have you done?


Good grief, Peepers, what have you doneWhat have you done?


I said, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?


MOUSES!


You've done some pretty stupid stuff in your life, Peepers, and I've witnessed it all.  But this time...  Well this time takes the cake, to be sure.  Are you aware we now have the stinkiest garden in the whole, entire neighbourhood?   Are you aware?


I said, ARE YOU AWARE?


MOUSES!


Well let me tell you somethin', ol' peep of mine.  I went outside yesterday mornin' only to find a bevy of deer havin' a meetin', and they were none too pleased, to be sure.


Bevy?  What in tarnation is a bevy, you ask?


I think it's a bunch.


MOUSES!


But anyway, as I was sayin', this bevy of deer were mighty upset and at first I wasn't sure why.  Oh sure, I knew it was about you.  I knew YOU were the one who had upset 'em.  I mean, who else would do somethin' like that.  But I didn't know exactly WHAT you had done to upset 'em so much.


This time.


MOUSES!


But then I detected a faint whiff of somethin' in the air.  Somethin' stinky, to be exact.  IN FACT, somethin' so stinky I almost ran inside to get a clothespin to cover my nose.  AND I WOULD HAVE done exactly that until I thought better of it, 'cause you know...


It's mighty hard to breath with a clothespin stuck on your nose.


MOUSES!


So I sat there for a mo, ponderin' what to do next.  Should I investigate this assault on my nose?  Or should I just ask that bunch or bevy of deer why they were so darned upset.


That was 'bout when one of the deer stuck a petition in my face.  They wanted me to sign, you see, and figured I would on account of my facial expression as I held my breath and was about to collapse from lack of breathable air.


PEE-EW.


MOUSES!


And that's when I saw it.


Or smelled it.


Whatever.


APPARENTLY, ol' peep of mine, those bars of soap you cut up and scattered all over, have not gone unnoticed.  Not gone unnoticed by the deer.  And just how many of 'em did you use, anyway?  From the stink of it, I'd say at least a couple dozen.


MOUSES!


And why did you do somethin' so stupid?  WHY?  Are you insinuatin' the deer need to bathe?


'Cause that's what they're thinkin', Peepers, and like I said earlier: they're really not pleased.


Although to tell you the truth, there were a couple who could do with a good bath, to be sure.  I didn't say anythin', however, on account of my not wantin' to insult 'em any more than YOU had insulted 'em, already.


Plus, those long legs of theirs look like they might be mighty good at kickin'.


MOUSES!


And speakin' of bein' insultin'...


Speakin' of bein' insultin', the deer are upset not only 'bout the bathin' thing, but also 'bout your havin' stunk up their mornin' meal.


You know, the tulips.


What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?


Stinkin' up the bed of tulips was what you were tryin' to do?


Hmmm....


Nope, I think you're gonna have to elaborate a little, ol' peep of mine.  Why would you WANT to stink up their food?


'Cause the tulips were never meant to be food.


Hmmm....


Well to tell you the truth, I think that ship already sailed.


SO WOULD YOU PLEASE GO OUT THERE AND GATHER UP ALL YOUR BITS OF STINKY SOAP SO I WON'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO RESORT TO STICKIN' A CLOTHESPIN ON MY NOSE.


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!



8 comments:

  1. I bet the deer were offended. We hang tin pie pans on posts and the banging scares them better than Irish Spring soap ever did.

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  2. Really? How are the deer supposed to use that soap to get clean?!?!

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  3. Oh deer ... er, um ... we mean oh dear. Sounds like the pull of your Peep's tulips was greater than any supposed repellent properties of that soap. MOUSES!

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  4. Neville, its the annual tulips vs deer challenge that humans love to play ;) They try to foil the deer's attempt to eat the tulips. MOL!
    Let the games begin!
    Purrs, Julie

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  5. My, that is a most intriging method to fend off the dear ol' deer. But how in tarnations did the peep expect them tulips to bath themselves???
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

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  6. Are tulips a tasty snack? Toulouse want to know......

    Marjorie at Dash Kitten

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  7. We had mice getting under the cabinets in our bathrooms. My wife read Irish Spring would repel them. It not only did not repel them, they actually gnawed on the soap.

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  8. We had no idea that deer eat tulips. We always learn such a lot from you, Seville.

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.