Wednesday, 7 September 2022

gotta look the part


Hey Peepers!


PEEPERS!


PEEPERS!!!


Yeah, I was callin' ya, Peepers.  Thanks for answerin' so quickly.


Please note the sarcastic tone in my voice.


MOUSES!


So anyway...


So anyway, I need you to order me some stuff on account of my not havin' enough moolah in the ol' froggy bank.


Yeah, yeah...  I know I usually order my own stuff but for some strange reason, I can't find your credit card anywhere in the house.  You wouldn't have any idea why that is, would ya, Peepers?  Huh?


Don't bother answerin'.  I think I already know why.  You probably accidentally - I repeat, ACCIDENTALLY - put it somewhere out of my reach.


Stupid peep.


MOUSES!


But anyway...


But anyway, here's the list of all the stuff I'm gonna need.


Peepers, you look pale.  You feelin' okay?


But I DO NEED all of this stuff.  I need every single bit.  If I'm gonna pull off this GentleCat Farmer act, I need more than just a crop of catnip, you see.  I need a hat, custom made.  I need a pipe.  Yeah, yeah, I know I don't smoke.  Don't even like the smell of it, to be honest.  But I'll just hold onto the pipe, unlit, and it'll make me look very GentleCat Farmerish, indeed.  And yes, the custom made tweed jacket goes without sayin'.


The gold cuff links?  Yeah, you might have a point.  I don't actually wear a shirt to attach 'em to.


Hmmm...


Better add a custom-made shirt to that list.


WELL OF COURSE the shirt has to be custom made, just like the jacket.  When was the last time you saw cat-sized quality shirts and jackets bein' sold on the rack?


MOUSES!


And boots.  Really, really good boots.  Puss-in-Boots had 'em so obviously I, Seville the Cat, GentleCat Farmer Extraordinaire must have 'em as well.


Just the one pair of boots, mind you, on account of my usin' a cane instead of walkin' on four paws.  Just the one pair of boots should save you some money, for sure.


Cane?  Yeah, that's next on the list.  Make it a really nice hardwood one, please.  Carved, I think.  Somethin' not too "out there" but stylish in a royal kinda way.  And remember, I'm savin' you money by not needin' that second pair of boots so you might wanna tuck a jewel or two into the cane.  Black and yellow diamonds would suit my gorgeous marmalade furs to a tee, and...


'Cause like a told you, Peepers: I NEED TO LOOK THE PART.  GentleCat Farmin' is about far more than farmin', you see.  It's about style and grace and...  Um...  Panache!


Note to self: double-check the meanin' of panache.  Make sure it's not some kinda weird cheese.


Cheese...


Hmmm...


Mmmm...


Better add some cheese to that list, Peepers.  GentleCat Farmers are known to get a bit peckish 'round mid-afternoon.


Yeah, you heard me: peckish.  It's a word we GentleCat Farmers use.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

5 comments:

  1. And good luck with all that, Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ooh la la! You are gonna be one seriously decked out GentleCat Farmer, Sivvers!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those all sound like reasonable requests. I can't wait to see you all dressed up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Christmas is a long ways off, yet, Seville!! MOL!

    We want to see you in all of that garb, OK?!
    Aroo! And mouses for good measure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We look forward to seeing you all decked out in your new togs, Seville!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.