So Peepers went and got herself a la-dee-dah "pizza stone" the other day. She SAYS that with it, she'll be able to make a decent pizza. I say, she wants to make decent pizzas, she needs to start puttin' tuna on 'em.
Ba-dum bum. Tsss...
But tuna aside, I seriously cannot fathom how poundin' some pizza dough with some kinda rock is gonna make said pizza taste better.
So anyway, I've been faced with a dilemma, my friends. Faced with a dilemma, I say. I have a problem of preposterous proportions, for sure. And this dilemma of mine affects everyone around me, I'm afraid. My dilemma is...
My dilemma is...
My dilemma is: catnip or valerian. Which is better? What do you think?
Okay, so that's not really my dilemma on account OF EVERYONE KNOWIN' nothin' can ever beat the nip.
Plus, that ol' valerian smells like stinky feet.
Okay, so seriously. Seriously, I do have a dilemma at paw; and said dilemma is that that nosy neighbour who was sneakin' around, hidin' in the bushes, was back again, my friends.
Now I'm tellin' ya, NORMALLY I wouldn't be too concerned on account of my normally not carin' what peeps get up to as long as whatever they're gettin' up to doesn't affect me. But the thing is, near some of those bushes where he has been lurkin', I have my catnip growin'. AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS, catnip is always of great concern to me.
I mean, it's bad enough that my nip plants got all soaked and smushed by that rain we had a little while ago. That was a disaster, for sure. But the plants were finally dryin' out and reviving and I was thinkin' I might still get a small crop, even if it's not the best. But if nosy neighbourin' peeps are sneakin' about, possibly imbibin' in the nip and whatnot, what are the chances I'll get any nip crop at all?
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', peeps don't imbibe in the nip.
BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG?
I mean, most peeps don't wander around cats' driveways, lurkin' in the shadows. Right? RIGHT?
JUST TELL ME I'M WRONG.
So the plan is...
The plan is....
Okay, so truth be told, I don't have a plan.
As of yet.
But when I do...
And nosy neighbourin' peeps are gonna regret even contemplatin' messin' with my nip.
Remember to mask up, too.