That's right, my friends, I have now been stuck here with these two good-for-nothin' peeps of mine for a total of four hundred and ninety-five million, three hundred and thirty-one thousand, two hundred cat seconds, and let me tell you somethin', my friends...
IT'S DRIVIN' ME MAD, for sure.
Now I might say bein' stuck here with me for just shy of half a billion cat seconds is drivin' the peeps mad, too, but...
But that, my friends, WOULD SURELY BE A LIE.
No, Saffron isn't in yet, and it IS kinda drivin' Peepers mad tryin' to get him in, what with his insistin' on not bein' willin' to do so and all, but...
Well let's face it, my friends, Peepers WAS ALREADY mad, long before Saffron ever appeared on the scene, so his unwillingness to come inside might make her... Um... Well. MadDER, one could say, but it can't actually make her mad in the first place.
She already had that covered.
All by herself.
Now the weather...
Now the weather, on the other paw, would make ANYBODY mad, madder, or maddest, for sure. It was like -15C Wednesday or Thursday mornin', but around midnight last night, it was that much above! Yup, +15C in the middle of the night in December.
But I digress 'bout this weather stuff. Thing is, it was super cold the other day and Peepers thought she'd just pick ol' Saffron up and carry him inside.
So anyway, rubbin' alcohol and bandages are kept under the sink, in the downstairs half bath.
And now we know.
So after Peepers cleaned up the two scratches and noticed a bruise formin' below her left shoulder where Saffron had given her one mighty kick, Peepers has once again decided to allow Saffron to come inside in his own good time.
But then yesterday...
Yesterday, when Peepers had Saffron up in her arms - she's a slow learner, you see - instead of kickin' and scratchin' her, he...
HE GAVE HER A KISS!
That's right, Saffron touched noses with the peep.
Methinks it's actually SAFFRON who has gone mad these past ninety-one weeks.
Has the cat never heard of peep germs?
Remember to mask up, too.