Sunday 13 September 2020

twenty-six weeks

Are you nuts, woman?  Are you absolutely bloomin' NUTS?

Of course you are.

Silly question.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, bein' pretty much cooped up here in the house for the last one hundred and forty-one MILLION, five hundred and twenty-three thousand, two hundred seconds in cat time, has really taken its toll on your mental state, hasn't it, Peepers?

Don't answer that.  It was a RHETORICAL question.

But can you imagine what MY bein' cooped up with YOU has done to ME?

MOUSES!

Peepers, Peepers, Peepers...

*sighs*

Peepers, you do realise that most people...

Hmmm...

Peepers, you do realise that NORMAL people...

Yeah, that's better.

You do realise that normal people, especially ones with gardens, try to get RID of gigantic green caterpillars, don't you?  I mean, NORMAL people recognise that large green caterpillars are wantin' to eat your plants and things, and so the first thing they do when they see one is dispose of it.  You know that, don't you?

But you...

*sighs again, this time more loudly*

You are a different kinda peep, for sure.  You, my dear Peepers, see a big green caterpillar makin' its way across the street, and what do you do?

You go and rescue the darned thing.

MOUSES!

Bet you rescue worms on the driveway, too.

Of course you do.  Come to think of it, I've actually seen you doin' so.

MOUSES!

Peepers, what if that big ol' green caterpillar was a tomato hornworm or somethin' like that?  What if you rescued some kinda creepy crawlie that's gonna repay you by eatin' your tomatoes?

Well actually, it would be after the tomatoes belongin' to the neighbours down the street, I guess, on account of that's where you rescued it.

Neighbours are sure gonna love you.

NOT.

MOUSES!

But my point is, Peepers, it's fine to go 'round rescuing stray kitties and puppies and things.  In fact, rescuing kitties and puppies is a REALLY GOOD THING.  It's one of those things that gets peeps to Heaven and stuff.

And Peepers, feel free to rescue mice, too.  I must admit, I'm partial to a rescued mouse served with a creamy catnip sauce on the side, myself, but uh...


Um...

Never mind.

MOUSES!

BUT...

BUT NORMAL PEEPS DRAW THE LINE AT RESCUIN' CATERPILLARS.

Of course, you're not all that normal, are you?

Again, don't bother answerin'.  That's another rhetorical question, you see.

MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.



4 comments:

  1. Those big green crawly things are really kind of creepy!

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  2. Sorry, Seville, but I'm on your peeps side; I too rescue worms and any bug that I find that needs help being turned over, or picked up from the road and placed in the garden.

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  3. That sure is nice of your peep. We definitely draw the line at horn worms- they are creepy.

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  4. My human rescued a MILLIPEDE! It was in the shower this morning, and I found it for her. She actually got the bug catcher (an old plastic container), caught it and set it outside.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.