Wednesday, 19 August 2020

dinner is served


HEY PEEPERS!  Got you somethin'.

And FYI, you don't have to go shoppin' this week.

MOUSES!

Well SQUIRREL, actually.  It's not a mouse.

SQUIRRELSIES?

Doesn't really have the same ring to it, if you know what I mean.  Methinks I'll stick to the original.

MOUSES!

What do you MEAN you don't eat squirrel?  You worried this here squirrel might be a relative or somethin'?  I know you're a bit squirrelly, but I didn't think it was...

Well...

Genetic.

MOUSES!

For mousin' out loud.  A kitty brings home a nice squirrel roast and what does a kitty get?

Nothin' but grief.

MOUSES!

Peepers, I was doin' you a favour.  I was bringin' home the bacon...  I mean, squirrel.  I THOUGHT you'd appreciate my hard work.  I THOUGHT...

Oh yeah...  You're a VEGGIEtarian.

Hmph.

Shoulda brought home some lettuce instead.

Be right back.

HEY PEEPERS!  IS STINGIN' NETTLE THE SAME AS LETTUCE?

Just kiddin'...

MOUSES!

So anyway, since you didn't appreciate the effort I made regardin' tonight's dinner, I'll take my squirrel back now.

What do you MEAN you put it away?

No, seriously, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

You wrapped it up in a paper towel, took it outside, and said a little prayer while laying it to rest?

YOU WHAT?

Mouses, woman, I caught that squirrel with my own four paws, and you...

Stupid, good for nothin', unappreciative, dimwitted peeps...

MOUSES!

And what are you doin' now?

Who are you callin', Peepers?  WHO ARE YOU CALLIN'?

You're not callin' the squirrel police, are you?  'Cause there's no need to do anythin' so rash as that.  There's no need to...

YOU'RE WHAT?

DON'T YOU DARE CALL THE VET.  DON'T YOU DARE!

I DO NOT NEED A DEWORMIN' PILL JUST 'CAUSE I CAUGHT A SQUIRREL.  I DO NOT!  I DIDN'T EVEN EAT IT!

Oh sure, I would have eaten it had I been given the chance, but you took it away before I got to, and...

Peepers, I promise never to catch a squirrel again.  If I promise to never, ever, ever catch another squirrel, will you promise not to call the vet?  Please?  PLEASE?  PLEASE?

I have the meanest, nastiest peep in the world wide world.

FACT.

MOUSES!

Well that's the last time I ever go grocery shoppin' for Peepers again.  The last time, I tell you.  The LAST TIME!

A kitty goes grocery shoppin' for their peep and what does a kitty get?

Nothin' but grief.

Not to mention a stupid dewormin' pill.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to MASK UP, too.


8 comments:

  1. That was some serious lack of appreciation Seville!

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  2. Ugh. She is really, really unappreciative, Sivvers. It was nice of you to get her a squirrel.

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  3. You are certainly a Mighty Hunter, Seville - but We can't help feeling sorry for that poor squirrel!

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  4. My human's heart cat was an expert squirrel hunter. But my human wouldn't eat her catch either.

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  5. dood.....squirrel iz vizshuz; may bee thatz why peeperz thinkz ya knead a de wermer.....may bee de squirrel haz skin coo teez ore sum thin....N may bee peeperz saw de coo teez..... maybee thatz why peeperz thinkz ya knead ta go two de vet....

    may bee thiz two shall pazz N de vet will knot bee menshuned !!!

    pawz crossed ~~~~ :) ♥♥

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  6. Wow, I'm impressed, Seville!
    Once, Chuck got close enough to swat the tailio of a squirrel, but your hunting prowess is amazing.
    As if a trip to the vet would phase you; you've got nerves of steel!

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  7. I bet you found a way to dispose of that pill (maybe spit it out and flushed it down the potty) without your peep even knowing.

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.