Okay, so truthfully, I ran out of claws a while back. Well, it just was last week. Yeah, last week I ran outta claws on my front paws, so now I'm havin' to count with the claws on my back paws, too.
And reachin' those back paws is LIKE DOIN' SIT-UPS, for sure.
I'm thinkin' I should instead start makin' a scratch on a wall, every week. You know, like prisoners do.
Not that I'm not a prisoner or anythin' like that. No, I'm just doin' my bit, stayin' at home as much as I can, keepin' safe, that sorta thing. I keep myself safe, I keep my peeps safe, too.
Of course, as a cat, stayin' home is super easy to do.
It's not like peeps can throw a kitty in jail for knockin' over a plant.
Excuse me one mo.
IT WAS NOT VANDALISM, PEEPERS! I MERELY ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OVER A STUPID PLANT. BY ACCIDENT!!! MOUSES!
Excuse me once more.
I SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, PEEPERS! AND BESIDES, IT WAS ALL THE PLANT'S FAULT. THE STUPID PLANT WAS IN MY SPOT. MOUSES!
So like I was sayin'....
Like I was sayin', for the past eleven weeks - that's fifty-nine million, eight hundred and seventy-five thousand, two hundred cat seconds, you know - I've been doin' my bit, stayin' safe at home, helpin' to slow the spread of that nasty ol' virus.
And I've been makin' sure the peeps stay home, too.
You know, 'cause I'm helpful like that.
Even though my bein' the ever-so-helpful kitty I am has meant my havin' to have those Pesky PeePs on my Paws for fifty-nine million, eight hundred and seventy-five thousand, two hundred cat seconds in all.
I'm tellin' ya, it's been an eternity, for sure.
But now that Nova Scotia is at the end of wave one and it's safe for the province to open back up, I'm hopin' Peepers might spend an afternoon or two somewhere ELSE, AWAY FROM ME, every once in a while.
I know! Maybe she could go jump in a lake.
Excuse me again.
I SAID MAYBE, PEEPERS. DON'T TAKE STUFF SO PERSONALLY. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA PUSH YOU OFF THE END OF A DOCK OR ANYTHIN' LIKE THAT. YOU KNOW, PUSH YOU OFF THE END OF A DOCK INTO A LAKE 'CAUSE YOU'RE BEIN' A NUISANCE WITH YOUR BEIN' HOME ALL DAY EVERY DAY, GETTIN' IN MY FACE, NOT TO MENTION MY SPACE, AND GENERALLY BEIN' A PAIN IN THE TAIL. I'M NOT GONNA PERSONALLY PUSH YOU INTO THAT LAKE!
Or am I?
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.