Wednesday 8 April 2020

potty mouth

And it's another BEAUTIFUL day here in Nova Scotia.  The sun is shinin' and the air is fresh, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Well no, I wasn't talking 'bout the air in the immediate vicinity of the litter box bein' fresh.  I was talking 'bout the air outside, but...

BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE LITTER BOX IS A TAD STINKY.

Seriously, Peepers, it's not my fault.  I didn't...

Okay, so maybe I did, but it's still not my fault.  You should be right there standin' over me whilst I do my business, scoop in hand, anxiously waitin' to scoop da poop outta there.

MOUSES!

Now where was I before bein' so RUDELY interrupted?

Oh yeah, it's ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY here in Nova Scotia.

And because it's a beautiful day, I've been super duper busy.  I've been out in the garden multiple times, already.  Had to do my mornin' patrol, of course, sniffin' everythin' in sight.  Checked up on my nip plants, OF COURSE, and the little nippers are doin' just fine.  Oh, and I had a little snooze out in the sunshine.  All in all, my mornin' was pretty darned good.

But alas, the time for me to come indoors to have a little lunch and write up today's blog post came, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

Well OF COURSE I used the litter box when I came inside.  YOU STILL GOIN' ON ABOUT LITTER BOXES AND STUFF?

NO...  No, I could NOT have used the facilities outdoors.

Well for starters, you usually complain 'bout my doin' such things.  But more to the poinr, I'M NOT SOME KINDA SAVAGE ANIMAL, YOU KNOW.  I, Seville the Cat, am a dignified cat.  A gentleman cat, for sure.  I don't go 'bout Peein' and PooPin' outdoors.  I prefer to use the Little Boys'  room, you see, and...

STOP TALKING 'BOUT MY LITTER BOX HAVIN' A STINK!

The bathroom doesn't smell like a bed of roses after you've done YOUR business, you know.

Okay, so scratch that.  Maybe it does.  Maybe it DOES smell like a bed of roses.  A bed of roses recently fertilised with manure.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

My gosh I crack myself up.

MOUSES!

Yeah, that's right, Peepers.  You can dish it out but you can't take it, can you.

MOUSES!

WELL IF THE LITTER BOX SMELLS, QUIT YOUR GRIPING WOMAN, AND GO CLEAN THE DARNED THING OUT!

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, this stayin' at home all day, every day, business really is for the birds.  It's drivin' me birdy...  I mean, batty, for sure.  Instead of writin' a dignified blog post fit for the writings of a dignified kitty such as myself, I've lowered the calibre of my writing to the level of litter box humour, and...

CLEAN IT OUT WITH SOAP, WOMAN!

Do I have to explain EVERYTHIN' to her?

MOUSES!

No, not my MOUTH.  The litter box!  Clean THE LITTER BOX out with soap and water.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

9 comments:

  1. I can understand your peeps feeling Sevile, but I know the damned if you do and if you don’t applies, as well!
    Guess next time you should fertilize the roses and ask which is preferred!
    Keep posting and bringing smiles!
    Chin up, Seville!

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  2. The peeps sure do raise a stink over funny things Seville!

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  3. It's true, Sivvers. Peepers go on and on about the litterbox stinking, but they stink up the joint when THEY use the loo. Just saying.

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  4. Humans - they need to take action and stop complaining. Not necessarily in that order.

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  5. What is the point of having your humans home all the time if they aren't even up to a simple task such as regular cleaning out of litter boxes, right, Seville?

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  6. Seville, even though I'm working from home, I still scoop the litter boxes first thing!
    Well, except when I sleep in on the weekends, and I scoop after breakfast...
    Or...when I sleep in, then go out to the grocery store, then I scoop after that...

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  7. You poor kitty, the things you have to put up with. Maybe when the peep uses her litter box you should heckle her. :)

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  8. Don't worry, Seville, it will all be over in another month, maybe three at the outside. Till then, could I suggest the peep fits one of those extractor fans? Apparantly they have them over cookers to take away the smell of boiled cabbage and Brussel's sprouts!
    Of course that would mean either lowering the cooker to your height of moving the litter tray up.....
    I'll leave that one to you and the peep to sort out ;) MOL
    Purrs
    ERin

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  9. Oh wow, may I suggest an air freshener? Or as our humans do (rush to open the door).

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.