I'm sorry, but I...
Actually, I'm not sorry at all. It had to be done, you see.
So anyway, yesterday, I was out and about in the garden, inspectin' this and that, and that and this, not to mention a number of other things, when...
When all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, that long-haired freak of a brother of mine appeared before me.
Well we stood there, he and I, sizing each other up. We stood there for a good long time. He was lookin' at me. I was lookin' at him. Basically we were just lookin' at each another.
But then Rushton took a step back, and kinda struck a pose, so to speak.
No, not a dance pose. Although truth be told, with these modern-type dances these days, I suppose it could have been a dance pose, with Rushy pretendin' to be twinkle toes.
But with this particular pose came a low growl so I, OF COURSE, replied with a pose of my own.
Blah, blah, blah... Blah, blah, blah... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...
Yup, that's just what I heard. That's when Peepers arrived on the scene, blatherin' on 'bout something 'bout nothin', like she always does.
Be good you two. Love another. And if you can't love one another, leave each other alone.
Yeah, yeah, Peepers. Can't you see I'm busy over here? Rushy and I are havin' a discussion.
Yeah, that's what we'll call it: A discussion.
Well next thing I knew, the fur was flyin' like only my fur can do.
Okay, so Rushy's was, too.
Then Peepers flew in like a bat outta hell, screechin' like a crazy ol' banshee.
Suddenly I was up in her arms, while Rushy sat there on the driveway glaring at me. So I stuck my tongue out at him and gave him a hiss. Of course, there was nothin' he could do 'bout that as Peepers was right there watchin' us.
And that, my friends, was that.
Until yesterday evenin'...
Picture it: Me in my nightcap...
Sorry, wrong story. MOUSES!
Picture it: There I was lyin' on the family room floor under the pink chair - which to tell you the truth, kinda clashes with my orange fur, but so far, no matter how much I scratch that chair to death, the peeps haven't splurged on a better colour of upholstery.
But I digress.
So there I was, lyin' under the pink chair, when into the room waltzed Rushy. Yup, Mr. Twinkle Toes himself. Waltzin' and struttin', and struttin' and waltzin', and basically makin' a FOOL of himself. I watched him closely, keepin' an eye on my foe, as he trotted toward Peepers as if he were in the know. Then after gettin' some scritches from ol' Peepers, he dared to waltz over to me.
Okay, so he wasn't so much waltzin' over to me as he was attempting to waltz right past. But it annoyed me, 'cause EVEN THOUGH I WAS RIGHT THERE, he was gonna waltz right past me like I didn't exist!
So I watched, and I waited, and I waited and watched, and then...
Just as he passed me...
I SMACKY-PAWED HIM IN THE REAR
Next thing I knew, the flyin' cryin' screamin' banshee was back.
Yeah, Peepers got up of the couch.
Then came the talk of apologies owed. And I do admit, it WOULD be nice for Rushy to apologise, but for some strange reason, the peep appeared to be directin' her apology talk to me.
But you know somethin', my friends? Even though Peepers is a tad upset - goodness knows why - 'bout my smacky-pawin' Rushy as I did, I'm not the least bit sorry, at all. Nope. No sirree. 'Cause after the fur flying incident of the mornin', my smacky-pawin' had to be done. Some cats like to get the last word in. I, however, prefer to get the last smack in. Besides, with all that long freaky fur of his, I bet Rushy never even felt a thing.