Sorry 'bout that Peepers, but it had to be done.
Well I'll tell you why.
Because is too an answer, Peepers. Case in point: You asked me a question, and I answered it with because.
If you insist, I shall elaborate.
Picture it, Nova Scotia, 2019...
I'M SETTIN' THE SCENE, Peepers. I'M SETTIN' THE SCENE! Now shush up, would ya? MOUSES!
Picture it, Nova Scotia, 2019. It was shortly after lunchtime one late August afternoon, and havin' already enjoyed a lunch of the fanciest of the feasts with a little kibble on the side, I was lyin' under the pink chair in the family room, when...
When some big ol' clodhoppering peep...
Clodhoppering is too a word, Peepers. Case in point: I used a sentence with clodhoppering in it, makin' it a word.
Now where was I before bein' so rudely interrupted?
Oh yeah, I was lyin' under the pink chair in the family room when some big ol' clodhoppering peep came along and stepped on my tail, and...
Yeah, yeah... You're sorry. You said you were sorry before like a million and twenty-nine times, but you know somethin' Peepers? You STILL stepped on my tail. MOUSES!
Yeah, yeah... You didn't mean to do it. You said you didn't mean to do it like a million and twenty-nine times, but you know somethin' Peepers? You STILL did it. MOUSES!
What's more Peepers, after steppin' on my tail, you didn't even bother to immediately get off it.
Yeah, yeah... You didn't realize you were actually on my tail at the time. You said you didn't realize you were actually on my tail at the time like a million and twenty-nine times, but you know somethin' Peepers? You WERE. MOUSES!
Fine, so you were actually only on one wee little hair from the very tip of my tail. A wee little hair I was already in the process of sheddin' and therefore not even attached to my purrson at the time, but...
BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO STEP ON IT.
No Peepers, NO. I, Seville the Cat, have no intention of apologizing for meowin' loudly at you and givin' your ankle a bit of a scratch like I did. I, Seville the Cat, was well within my rights as ruler of this here household to issue a loud warning and make a preemptive strike.
Strike... Scratch... Whatever.
I WAS WITHIN MY RIGHTS, I tell you. I WAS WITHIN MY RIGHTS!
But speakin' of apologies, I think you'll find you owe me ANOTHER apology for questioning my rights.