Wednesday 8 May 2019

the peep and her caffeine

You have your caffeine, Peepers, and I have my nip.

No Peepers.  No!  No, I am not willin' to give up my nip.

Nope, not for any price.  Not even if you were to give up your caffeine.

AS IF YOU COULD.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

No Peepers, like I said earlier, I am NOT willin' to make any such agreement.  You can give up your caffeine if you like, but I'm STILL not givin' up catnip.

On the other paw...

On the other paw, Peepers, PLEASE DON'T give up your caffeine.  PLEASE...  Please don't, 'cause I've seen you in the mornin' before you've had a cup of coffee, and let me just say...

IT'S A SIGHT A KITTY CAN NEVER UNSEE.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

No Peepers, that was not an insult on my part.  I was not insulting you at all.  I was definitely not bein' insulting by mentioning your pre-caffeine appearance and demeanour.

I WAS SIMPLY STATING A FACT.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, it's like this, you have your caffeine, and I have my nip.  Let's just leave it at that.

But uh...

But Peepers, why were you even making the suggestion that I might consider givin' up catnip in the first place?  I mean, why would you suggest a thing like that?  What possessed you to even THINK that I, Seville the Cat, could, or should, go without the nip?  WHY?

Because I was up at three in the mornin' racing about the house with a nip mouse in my mouth last night, you say?

Hmmm...

Well it's not like I asked you to join me, or anything like that.

LIKE YOU COULD.

MOUSES!

No Peepers, I'm not actually INVITING you to join me in a three-in-the-mornin'-race-about-the-house marathon.  I'm sayin', even if you wanted to, you're not really up to the task.

What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Because uh...

Because Peepers, when it comes to my racin' about the house with a nip mouse in my mouth at three o'clock in the mornin'...  Well if you were to try it, you'd never keep up.  Never in a million years would you be able to keep up with me.

How do I know that, you ask?

Well for starters, I saw you out in the hallway this mornin', goin' on about it bein' the wee hours of the mornin'.  Or rather, the middle of the night.

AS IF I CARED.

AND, while you were doin' all that complainin', you were still half-asleep.  You were all dreary eyed and stuff.  Plus, your hair was all mussed up.

WELL MORE SO THAN USUAL, ANYWAY.

Peepers, you did not look like you were in any state to be racing 'round the house with me, at all.   IN FACT, you looked like you should have been in bed.  Gettin' some rest.  Gettin' some sleep.  Gettin' in some shuteye to face the day ahead.  You did NOT look like you had the energy to keep up with the likes of me.

MOUSES!

By the way, Peepers, why were you out in the hallway last night?

I mean...

I mean, it was like three o'clock in the mornin', you know?  You're not usually up at that hour.  That's a time when normally, you're asleep.  Maybe YOU SHOULD cut down on your caffeine intake a bit.  Seems to me, the stuff is keeping you awake at night, and preventing you from gettin' a good night's sleep.

MOUSES!

8 comments:

  1. Maybe some nip coffee would fix her right up Seville!

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  2. Humans! You can't live with them and you can't open cat food tins without them! Comparing Cat Nip to Caffeine...Blasphemy

    Purrs
    Marv

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  3. MOL!

    I'd never give up my nip - EVER!

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  4. Yup, that caffeine will get them every time. What your peep needs is sherry—good ol' fashioned mature sherry. And sherry is made from fruit and they say that fruit is good for humans, so what better reason to have a sip? Helps sleep too, in fact quite the reverse of coffee. Alas only downside is it does not aid frizzy mussed up bed-hair. Not even nip can hep that!
    Purrs
    ERin

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  5. They dont have a bit of understanding about our nocturnal needs to hunt and chase the odd nip mousie and why would they? They havent had their caffeine!

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  6. dood....round her de food service gurl couldna race round at 3 aye em ore pea em....lezz her waz drivin her car N if itz in de houz......we got trubull !!! N joy sum nip for uz pleez & thanx ☺☺♥♥

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  7. I love my coffee, but it never has me awake at 3 AM. Emmy meowing with the munchies at 3 AM, that wakes me up.

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.