I have a question for all you cats out there. Do you, or do you not, sometimes wonder 'bout your peeps? I mean, do you sometimes look at 'em and say to yourself, "How the mouses do they even take care of themselves?" DO you?
Now I bet some of you are thinkin' I'm bein' a little cheeky with that there question, but...
But first of all, I, Seville the Cat have extremely cute cheeks, so if I were bein' cheeky, it'd be okay, for sure.
I AM ASKING A SERIOUS QUESTION.
So I was lookin' up at Peep #1 the other day, and my first thought was, Oh, there's my peep! My second thought was, I wonder if I can convince her I'm starving to death and in desperate need of a snack. And my third thought was, What the mouses is wrong with her hair?
Well things went downhill from there. FAST. They went downhill very, very fast, indeed. It was a super steep slope, you see, and with every passing moment, we were pickin' up speed.
But back to the issue at paw.
I'm sure some of you cats have been known to bring home a dead mouse or something for your peeps, right? I know I've done it myself.
Okay, so it was actually a dead mole or vole or whatever and not a mouse, but it's the thought that counts, right? Right. MOUSES!
The thing is, we cats do this gifting-of-the-dead-mouse thing not because we're bringing home prezzies. Oh sure, peeps THINK the dead rodents and whatnot are prezzies, but what they really are, are...
Well what they really are, are examples of what the peeps could be doing for themselves if they were any good at mousing and stuff. That, and offers of giving said peeps, lessons.
Which brings me back to the peep's hair.
Scratch that. We'll get to her hair in a bit.
Now back to the inability of peeps to fend for themselves. Their inability to catch a good mouse for dinner when a mouse is what is surely needed.
Now you're probably all wondering why-oh-why I have mouse suppers on the brain, along with the age old question of whether or not mice really taste like chicken.
Thing is, spring will soon be here right across this great nation of ours, and with the spring weather, snow is melting, ground is thawing, and mice are making themselves known.
Not at my house, of course, on account of my fur-sibs and I having pretty much moused the place out in previous seasons, which is why we've had to improvise with moles and voles and...
Which reminds me, anyone know the difference between a mole and a vole? Other than the letters 'm' and 'v', of course.
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, with the onset of spring, I'm gonna be offering my EDUCATIONAL SERVICES - AGAIN - for teaching the peeps how to be mousers, but I'm kinda thinking they're probably still too stupid and lazy to ever learn how.
And this brings me back to what I asked right at the beginnin' of this here blog post. HOW THE MOUSES DO THEY EVEN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES?
I mean, my first peep can't even get a comb through her hair.
At least that's what it looks like to me.
And anyone else who might be lookin'.
Which is why I AGAIN have to ask, "WHAT THE MOUSES IS WRONG WITH HER HAIR?"
I'm tellin' ya, it's looking like a rat's nest, for sure.
Oohhh... I wonder is she's trying to LURE little mousies into that updo of hers like a mousetrap loaded with cheese.
Hey Peepers! You happen to have any cheese in that rat's nest of a hairstyle of yours? 'Cause if you do, were you aware I was in need of a snack?