Sunday 24 February 2019

Oh Peeeee-PeRRRsss

What. The mouses. Is this.

MOUSES!

Oh Peeeee-PeRRRsss...

Hey Peepers!  You've got some weeds growin' here in the sunroom.  They've taken over these little trays, or pots, or whatever they are.

I said, YOU'VE GOT SOME WEEDS GROWIN' HERE IN THE SUNROOM.

No, not weed.  WEEDS.  You know, weeds.  Stupid little green things that don't belong.

MOUSES!

But don't worry, Peepers.  Have no fear.  I, bein' the helpful kitty I am, took care of 'em for you.

What's that?  No, I didn't eat your weeds.  What kinda cat do you take me for?  But I did dig 'em out of those little trays, or pots, or whatever they are.

MOUSES!

And by the way, you can thank me later.

And you know somethin', Peepers?  I'm not even gonna charge you for my labour.

Isn't that nice of me?  Am I not the sweetest, most helpful kitty there ever was?

Don't bother answerin' that, Peepers.  It was what one calls a rhetorical question.

Rhetorical.  It means...

Oh, so you know what it means.

Then why were you askin'?

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, now that those little trays, or pots, or whatever they are are all empty, I was thinkin' you could plant me up some cat grass or somethin'.  You know, somethin' useful.  Somethin' a cat like me might enjoy eating.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

 Peepers, why are you freakin' out like that?

And just so you know, freakin' out is somewhat, how shall I say it, unbecoming for a peep.  Oh, I know it's not unusual for you to do, but it's still very unbecoming.  You really ought to learn how to control your emotions a bit better, Peepers, and...

Don't fret there, Peepers.  Fretting gives peeps wrinkles, don't you know.  I didn't eat your stupid weeds.  I chucked 'em under that there chair.  Yeah, that one.  That one over there.  The one at the back of the sunroom.

Your weeds?  Oh yeah, they're dead.  Dead as a...

PEEPERS!  Stop freaking out.  What did I tell you 'bout wrinkles?  Those stupid little green shoots of things were nothin' more than weeds.  WEEDS, I tell you.  Weeds.  And seriously, they were taking up space that would be far better used for a good crop of grass, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

They were micro-greens, you say?  Micro-greens, huh?  Micro-green pea shoots?

Hmmm...

Interestin'...

Well what kinda weeds are those?

Really?

Huh.  Who knew?  So they weren't weeds at all, you say.

Well...

Well micro-greens or not, they're now dead.  Yup, what you've got now is a crop of DEAD micro-green pea shoots, I'm afraid.

So since you've got a couple of now empty trays, or pots, or whatever they are there in the sunroom, Peepers, how 'bout putting them to use and planting me up some grass.

MOUSES!

6 comments:

  1. Well last I heard pee shoots isn't a good thing. Oops, maybe pea shoots are!

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  2. I think cat grass is a great idea!

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  3. Seville, I was concerned for a second there, that you'd...um...given those 'weeds' a golden shower, if you know what I mean!

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  4. Great job there, Saville, I mean who really wants micro peas? I think you've saved your peep no end of hassle trying to chase them around the plate.
    best get the nip or grass planted, instead....
    Purrs
    ERin

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  5. That was so thoughtful of you. I sure hope she plants some nip in those pots now. XO

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  6. Micro peas?! Was your momma planning on feeding tiny insects, Severs? I'm glad you cleaned out the pots, so she doesn't continue to waste her time with micro peas when she should be concentrating her time on Mega nip and Mega cat grass! Winks.

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