Sunday 6 January 2019

the nip mouse

Okay, okay...  Don't get your knickers in a twister there, Peepers.  Just Calm. The Mouses. Down.

Now let me get this straight.  So Peepers, are you saying you're upset about my leavin' a nip mouse on your pillow, OR are you upset 'bout the fact that the nip mouse in question was covered in slobber?  I need some clarification here.  You know, to make sure we're both on the same page.

'Cause in all honesty, Peepers, I think my sharin' my nip mouse with you is really very generous of me.  Generous enough that I should probably have heard a thank you or somethin' by now.  At least a nod of appreciation.

Wait!  Before you give me your answer, I just wanna point somethin' out.  If it's the slobber that's botherin' you....


You can thank Andy for that.

Actually, if we're bein' REALLY honest with one another...

Well, had it not been for all that icky ol' slobber, I probably wouldn't have given you the nip mouse in the first place.  So maybe you should be thankin' Andy for the nip mouse, too.


Uh...  Did I use the word, icky?

Hm...  I MEANT to use the word...

Nah, icky was what I meant, for sure.

And I know that because...


Well because icky is the word I used when I discovered that my nip mouse was all covered with Andy's slobber.


What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now, Peepers?

Oh, I see.

So you're sayin', what upset you 'bout the nip mouse was that you rolled over in your sleep, and got the slobbered upon nip mouse right in your face, huh?

Huh.  Well I can understand your not bein' happy 'bout that.  I know I don't like gettin' a face full of slobber.  I don't even like gettin' my own slobber on my face, so I certainly wouldn't enjoy a face full of someone else's.


Wait a minute, Peepers.  I need some further clarification.  Okay, so I'm down with your not likin' the face full of slobber bit, but did you also have a problem with there bein' slobber in the first place?  Was the fact that the nip mouse was covered in slobber also a problem for you?

'Cause I think I alluded to the fact before, had there been no slobber on the nip mouse, there would have been no nip mouse at all.  At least not one I'd be willin' to share.

Well don't just stand there like a mute stupidy-dupe, Peepers.  Spit it out.  Is your problem the fact that the aforementioned slobber ended up on your face, OR is your problem the actual existence of said slobber?  Come on, Peepers.  Inquirin' minds wanna know.

Whose inquirin' mind?

Well MY inquirin' mind, of course.


YES, I want to know.

Actually, it's more like a need.  I NEED to know, Peepers.  I need...



Well 'cause maybe - just maybe - I might have another slobbered upon nip mouse to give you.  And maybe - just maybe - I'm wonderin' where I should leave this second mouse.  'Cause if the only problem is the fact that you ended up with slobber all over your face...  Well...  Well then, I could leave this second slobbered upon nip mouse down by your feet or somethin', couldn't I?  But if you're havin' a problem with the existence of the slobber in general, that's a totally different thing.  In that case, maybe you wouldn't appreciate my givin' you another nip mouse at all.  MAYBE...

No Peepers.  NO.

'Cause like I already told you...

Well, it's more like I implied, I suppose.   Insinuated might be more like it.  But surely by now, you should have been able to infer...


'Cause those ones, I still like.  'Cause those ones, I'm still usin'.  'Cause those ones, I need.

Peepers, Peepers, Peepers...  It's just the nip mice Andy slobbered all over that I'm tryin' to get rid...


I mean, dispose of...



What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

So you're sayin' you don't want ANY nip mice, at all, if they've been slobbered upon?  You don't want the slobber near your face?  Or by your feet?  Or anywhere near your person?



Well in that case...

Well in THAT case, I'll see if I can sell the slobber covered nip mice on EBay.  I bet I can.  Peeps will buy anythin' from anyone over there.  All I need do is play up their description and stuff.  You know, change well used to lovedOld and slightly damaged to antique.  Slimy to moisturisedSlobber to...  To uh...  Well...  Well, maybe I had best leave the slobbered upon bit out.



  1. Slobber or no slobber, your Peep should be glad that it was a nip mouse and not a half chewed real mouse on her pillow. Yes, Flynn did leave partly eaten mice on the bed for me on more than one occasion!

  2. I will be watching the bids on eBay MOL!

  3. Hee! Hee! My Mom got a little purr-terbed when I left a slobbery nip nanner on hers. She was so purr-terbed she threw the pillow at me before she put a new pillowcase on it!
    Does your peep throw pillows at you too?

  4. I don't think humans are much into nip mice, with or without slobber.

  5. Hmm, I do think your staff should be grateful of any nip mice at all. Count her blessings in fact. Around here it is real mice, minus the slobber (a lady doesn't slobber, I should add). Come to think of it, it would be part of a real mouse only and the staff would be grateful to have that too!
    Peep's these days, really they just don't know they were born!

  6. I woke up to a real dead mouse sharing my bed one morning, so the Peep should feel lucky that it was only a slobbered on catnip mouse. Seville, you could change slobbered to "marinated". ;)

  7. Seville, it's quite obvious that your peep has no idea just how precious your gifts are. So, next time, just drop it right on her FACE while she's sleeping!

  8. You are celebrity kitties. I am sure your slobbered mice would fetch a good price on ebay :)


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