Reasons peeps sue.
Top reasons peeps sue.
Scratch that, too.
Top reasons CATS sue.
Okay, okay... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', what have the peeps done now?
Actually.... Nothin'. Nope, nothin' at all.
At least not today.
BUT I'm still makin' a list of things they MIGHT do, that might make me wanna sue.
At the top of my list is: Providing' an insufficient supply of the nip.
Of course, that kinda goes without sayin', right? I mean, I shouldn't even have to add that to my list. It should be somethin' we all just... You know... KNOW.
But my list doesn't stop there, my friends. Oh no.
Okay, so maybe it does, but that's 'cause I've ONLY JUST STARTED my list. Give me another hour or two and I'll have more reasons, for sure. Reasons like...
I know! Reasons like publicly postin' on-line, when some kitty uses the wrong side of the box. That's gotta be a sueable reason, for sure. PEEPS OUT THERE DON'T NEED TO KNOW 'BOUT EVERY KITTY'S LITTER BOX MISTAKES.
Do we cats post 'bout PEEP bathroom issues on-line? Huh? HUH? DO we?
Okay, so maybe we do.
I'm tellin' ya, the other day I walked into the bathroom after Peep #1 had been in there, and the whole moused-up place STUNK like nothin' has EVER stunk before. My gosh, the whole room smelled like roses.
Or maybe it was peonies...
Nah, it smelled of stinky ol' roses, for sure.
BUT DID I IMMEDIATELY GO ON-LINE TELLIN' THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD 'BOUT THE ROSE-STINKING BATHROOM HABITS OF MY PEEP?
Of course not. Bein' a cat, I know better than that.
Yeah, but one of us CATS makes a stink in the litter box, the next thing you know, there are stinkin' headlines 'bout the smell on every website, worldwide.
CAT STINKS UP LITTER BOX TO HIGH HEAVEN.
CAT OUT-STINKS LOCAL STINKAROO.
CAT USES LITTER BOX AND PEEPS FLEE OUTDOORS DURING SNOWSTORM.
You know, those sorta things.
Now SURELY THOSE are reasons to sue.
You know, I don't think I even NEED a whole list of stuff over which I can sue. I think my list is already long enough. I think I've already given myself ample reasons to sue. I think...
Actually, I think I'm gonna excuse myself and go use the litter box. I'll let you know if shortly afterwards, I HAVE GOOD REASON TO SUE.