Wednesday 16 January 2019
Peepers, don't make me say it again.
Stop. STOP! Stop that right now. Don't make me come over there and give you a piece of my mind.
STOP, I tell you. STOP!!!
Peepers... You're EMBARRASSING me.
For mousin' out loud. I'm tellin' ya, a kitty in this house gets no privacy whatsoever. No privacy at all! A kitty can't even use the litter box without peeps lurkin' about.
Okay, so there was no actual note takin', but still...
What IS up with the watchin' of kitties while kitties are doin' their bathroom activities?
You'll never find us cats watchin' peeps while they're doin' their...
Okay, so maybe you will.
But in all fairness, what I've seen peeps doin' in bathrooms is somethin' no self-respectin' kitty has ever wanted to see.
Well first of all, peeps have no fur.
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
Well nothin' really matters after that.
But back to this business 'bout peeps watchin' us cats doin' our... You know... Business.
CAN A KITTY HAVE NO PRIVACY AT ALL?
And then, AFTER they invade our privacy by watchin' us... You know... Poop. Well after watchin' us do that, what do they do?
I'LL TELL YOU what they do.
They say, "Good boy there, Sivvers. Good boy."
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
First of all, I ALREADY KNOW I'm a good boy. I don't need peeps tellin' me that.
And secondly, when they say it, WHY DO THEY SOUND SO SURPRISED?
And are they surprised that I'm good? Or surprised that I've pooped? Or surprised that I've pooped IN the box?
WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA DO IT?
You know, I once heard tell of a kitty who did it in a shoe.
Yup, TOTALLY true.
But that kitty was definitely not me.
So, as you can see, I DON'T NEED supervision while I'm... Doin' my... Pee.
I don't need supervision while usin' the litter box. I don't need affirmation after I've used it. And I MOST CERTAINLY DON'T need anyone watchin' me while I wash up.
No, what I DO NEED is a little privacy while usin' the bathroom. Privacy, peeps. PRIVACY! It's this thing where you let us cats do our business in peace.
Peepers! I thought I told you to leave me alone.
Oh for the love of mouses. If you're gonna be lurkin' about there, Peepers, why don't you make yourself useful and clean out the box.