Sunday, 10 June 2018

pass me a nip mouse

Hey Peepers, pass me a nip mouse, would ya?

Hey, if you had my life, you'd be nippin' at nine in the mornin', too.

MOUSES!

Peepers, you don't understand...

No seriously, you don't understand.  You don't understand at all.  My problems are with my nip plants, you see, and when it comes to the growin' of the nip, it's a well-known fact that YOU understand pretty much nothin'.  Your nip-growin' skills are...  Well...  Well they're pretty much non-existent, for sure.

MOUSES!

Nip-killin' skills, on the other paw...

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TRYIN' TO DO.

MOUSES!

Okay, so here's the thing.  My baby nip plants are growin', but they're gettin' crowded in those wee little pots I started 'em in.  Too crowded to grow any bigger, for sure.  And I'm thinkin' I need to transplant 'em or somethin'.

But THAT is my problem, you see.  The transplantin' part, I mean.

Two words:  Opposable thumbs.

WELL I KNOW I DON'T HAVE 'EM.  THAT'S MY PROBLEM.  SEE?

Yeah, I tried transplantin' them myself, but...

But transplantin' is really hard to do without opposable thumbs.

MOUSES!

Peeps: Good for Pretty much NOTHIN', until you need a Pair of oPPosable Thumbs.

MOUSES!

So uh, Peepers...

Peepers, do you have any plans for this afternoon?

You do, huh?

Hmmm....

Well do your opposable thumbs have any plans for this afternoon?

They do, huh?

HMMM...

Come on, Peepers, please don't make this any harder for me than it already is.  PLEASE don't make me beg.  PLEASE...

Okay, so the I'm-not-gonna-beg ship just set sail.

MOUSES!

Here's the thing, Peepers:  If I can't get my baby nip plants into bigger pots or somethin', they're gonna die in those little wee ones.  And if my baby nip plants die in those wee little pots, it's gonna be all your fault.

'CAUSE YOU WON'T LEND ME YOUR THUMBS IS WHY.

Do you not understand anythin'?

MOUSES!

*sighs*

*SIGHS MORE LOUDLY*

*SIGHS LOUDLY ENOUGH FOR THE ENTIRE NEIGHBOURHOOD TO HEAR*

Peepers, maybe I could make you a deal.  Maybe...

I know!  What if I were to promise not to mock you anymore on my blog in return for your usin' those opposable thumbs of yours to transplant my nip plants?

Scratch that.  I shouldn't make promises I can't keep.

Peepers, how 'bout if I were to promise not to mock you on my blog, for a whole week, in return for your usin' those opposable thumbs of yours to transplant my nip plants?

Scratch that.  Same issue with the keepin' of promises thing.

How 'bout if I were to promise not to mock you, at all, FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR, in return for your usin' those opposable thumbs of yours to transplant my nip plants?

I can do that.  I know I can.  I know I can go a whole hour without peep mockin', for sure.

Just have to take an hour long nap, is all.

I can probably do that in my sleep.

MOUSES!

14 comments:

  1. Seville, I think you’ve convinced her!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Seville, many years ago the Dad was growning some fresh nip in a basket hanging from the deck. Some humans came by in the middle of the night and cut down the hanging basket and ran off with it. They thought it was a plant that humans like to smoke. I'm sure they got a surprise! Dad quit growing any nip after that. MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dude you need to get those plants moved STAT OK? or they will be ex-plants!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. We bet she will help you, Sivvers. How could she not???

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my, Seville, can you book the peep's hand and thumbs in advance? If not maybe try bribery. You give extra cuddles and receive extra treats in exchange for nip duties...... or promise not to bring any chippies in for a while? OR why not write the peep into a co-star part in your new adventure!
    Toodlepips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wish I could get my own thumbs too!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I hope your human gets those nip plants transplanted, Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope your peep doesn't let those baby nip plants die! Surely she doesn't want that on her conscience!
    One year I planted baby nip plants in one end of the summer bedding border and they went crazy. They grew up like a hedge but then Flynn had the nerve to tell me they were the wrong sort of nip and they didn't do anything for him. Mouses! The butterflies loved them though, and Flynn enjoyed chasing the butterflies, so I suppose it worked out okay in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sweet Seville. I do hope you were successful in getting the peep to transplant your Nip. Though I don't like your chances of going a whole hour without mocking them. Specially if napping and unguarded comments from dreams.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Seville, I could here you sighing on this side of the Pond.
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie (in Scotland).

    ReplyDelete
  11. Seville wouldn't be Seville without the mocking! And might I add that he's really good at it, too?!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Severs, at least you have multiple baby nip plants. I only have one and it is teeny. I don't know if it will ever grow up to be a plant of real nip distinction. I don't thinks those opposable thumbs the humans have are all they're cracked up to be. You might want to leave the planting to Mother Nature.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.