Sunday, 19 November 2017

can you hear me now?

For mousin' out loud.

I know she can hear me.  I KNOW it.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Who would ever have thought that I, Seville the Cat, would end up with a peep who is hard of hearin'.

Although in all honesty, she's more likely to have selective hearin', for sure.  MOUSES!

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Hey Peepers, thought you'd like to know, I pooped on the wrong side of the litter box.

Oh sure, now THAT she can hear.

MOUSES!

It's annoyin' as all get out when Peep #1 pretends to not hear me.  And I KNOW she can, really.  Hear me, I mean.  I know she can hear me 'cause when I'm tryin' to be extra quiet on account of my gettin' into mischief and stuff, she ALWAYS hears me doin' that, for sure.

Like I said earlier, MOUSES!

And peeps claim we cats have selective hearin'.

Okay, so maybe now and then we do.

But two wrongs do not a right, make.

MOUSES!

And so what if I've already had three helpings of treats today.  So what if she heard me the first three times I asked.  Right now, at this very moment, I'm lookin' for helpin' number four.

Plus, they were very small treats.  I barely even tasted 'em goin' down.

But the peep, apparently, is no longer hearing my pleas.  No longer hearin' my cries.  No longer hearin' my polite requests for treats.

CLEARLY, my requests have been too polite for her to hear.

HEY PEEPERS!  GET ME A TREAT AND GET IT RIGHT NOW.  MOUSES!

Oh sure, now THAT she hears.

Peepsqueak, if you had answered me the first time I asked, I wouldn't have had to resort to makin' loud and rude demands.  You know Peepers, you pretty much brought this upon yourself.  Not MY fault you weren't hearin' me when I was askin' nicely.  Not MY fault you weren't respondin' to my cries.  Not MY fault you weren't...

Okay, okay...

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, WHERE ARE MY TREATS.

I want treats.  I want treats.  I WANT TREATS.  I WANT...

OKAY, OKAY...

MOUSES!

You know Peepers, you keep this up, and what you'll be hearin' will be my droppin' to the floor, rollin' around, dying of hunger, and...

What?  What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

You say you already gave me treats?

I know that.  But that was at least ten minutes ago, and I already ate 'em right up.  Plus, there were only three.  I need a fourth treat, and I need it right now.

What?  What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

What do you MEAN you already gave me a fourth treat?  Peepsqueak, had you given me a fourth treat, I wouldn't be needin' to resortin' to beggin' and pleadin' and prancin' around the kitchen floor.  Had you given me a fourth treat, I wouldn't be lookin' for treats right now.  Had you given me a fourth treat, I wouldn't be...

What?  WHAT?

Oh.

That.

Hmmm...

Well...

Well CLEARLY, that wasn't the kinda treat for which I was askin'.

Or somethin' like that.

I'll tell you what, Peepers.  I'll just scarf down this teeny, tiny, minuscule fourth treat, right now.  You know, just to keep YOU happy and stuff.

*GULP*

And now that that's gone, I'll start beggin' for more.  For a fifth treat, I mean.  And make it a good kind, this time.

Hey Peepers!  CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?


38 comments:

  1. Goodness Seville, there's sure a lot of selective hearing going around there...and here too. We just had our dinner and we'd like a little dessert but the mom bean pay us any attention. Why no, she does not. Guess we'll resort to some hollering here too.

    Have a great week with lots of treats!

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    1. Yup, that's EXACTLY what you're gonna have to do. When it comes to dessert, peeps hearin' becomes VERY selective, for sure. MOUSES!

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  2. Like you kitties don't have selective hearing!!!All that ear twitching!! My Stella always ignores me when I talk to her unless I am near treats!!

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    1. Yeah, but that's different, 'cause it's us. PURRS

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  3. I think selective hearing is infectious, Seville. You bunch of four pawed must have infected the Peep.

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  4. There are never enough treats, Seville. We humans have never grasped that fact.

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  5. Binga is a bit hard of hearing, which makes her ask for treats twice as loud as she normally would!

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    1. Interestin'... Now answer me this: When Binga asks LOUDLY for treats, does your human hear her? purrs

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  6. With our peeps the hearing and the listening seems to be different things!

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  7. Hmmm, I don't ask for treats. Mommy gives me some when she leaves for work in the morning, she puts a couple on the top of my tree and a couple on the second self and a couple on the recliner and a couple on my white blanket. Then when she gets home, she gives ma a couple of stinky treats on the bed upstairs.
    If I ask, could I get more? And would my Mommy get selective hearing if I did.
    Purrs
    Marv

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    1. It must be like a fun-filled Easter Egg Hunt, every day, at your house. MOUSES!

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  8. Hmm sound like your fourth treat is a half treat. Which means you really should be getting another to make up for it. OR double the ration. Maybe even treble the ration to make up for the trauma of not getting a full ration... Alternatively you could get one of those counter bells that hotels and shops use....
    Toodle pip and purrs
    Erin

    ReplyDelete
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    1. How 'bout QUADRUPLE! After all, I burn up a lot of calories havin' to ask for treats so many times. MOUSES!

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  9. The Peep sure makes you work hard for those treats.

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    1. She's like a slave driver, for sure. MOUSES!

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  10. Selective hearing is a very cat thing but just so you know ... dogs do it too ... well not all dogs but this dog does! :) And I think you got jibbed on that 4th treat... better check.

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  11. Oh my goodness, you're kind of demanding! I see why the Peep has developed selective hearing. But then again, you're right. I bet you were starving after that 10 minutes between your third and fourth treat. I hope the fifth one doesn't take that long!

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    1. And you bet right! I WAS starving durin' those ten minutes. MOUSES!

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  12. So selective hearing happens in other houses, too? What's up with humans doing that to kitties? It should be outlawed.

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    1. Absolutely! We've gotta outlaw this practice of human selective hearin', for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. Oh Seville! You are one hungry kitty. I'm sure your human has selective hearing but you practice it too right? LOL You may want to slow down on those treats because imagine if your human runs out of treats! MOUSES!

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  14. Desperate times call for desperate measures and LOUD REQUESTS FOR FOOD AND TREATS. Plus, fifth time's a charm - come to think of it sixth, seventh, eighth ...are all charms, too. Cheers to more treats!

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    1. Fifth time is the charm? Eighth time, too? CLEARLY, I haven't been askin' for treats enough times. MOUSES!

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  15. Seville and what about when your peep eats a forth, fifth, or SIXTH potato chip!? Huh? I bet you would say MOUSES to that right?
    Not fair and you are right those cat treats ARE very tiny!
    Why is that?
    Dog treats can be so huge!
    Cat's have as much of an appetite as dogs right?

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    1. My cat treats are WAY SMALLER than peep-sized potato chips. CLEARLY, I need to have extras. MOUSES!

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  16. Hmmm, I think rattling some things and being very loud are in order to make sure those treats keep coming!

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    1. I've gotta start rattlin' some chains. MOUSES!

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  17. Rainy here! My people have selective hearing too. They hear me very well when I surf counters but not so well when I want food, playtime, attention....

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    1. Yeah, what's with that? We know they CAN hear, 'cause they hear us all the time when we wish that they wouldn't. MOUSES!

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  18. You sure keep your person on her toes! Hopefully, that fifth treat was the good kind!

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    1. Somebody has gotta do it. What can I say? I drew the short straw. MOUSES!

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  19. Buffy never gets enough treats either, although she's not as demanding as Chipper used to be. He used to sit in front of the treat cabinet until I gave hims something!

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    1. You know somethin'? I've never done that. I should plunk my tail down right in front of the treat cabinet, too. purrs

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.