A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Who. The Mouses. Cares.
SERIOUSLY. Who cares? It's actually not a question. It's more like a statement, for sure.
Well, I mean... I mean, it's like this: Roses smell okay, I guess. They smell okay if you like that kinda thing. If you like the smell of roses, that is.
But me? Well, I'm a cat. And cats like other smelly things.
Actually, that didn't come out quite right. What I meant to say was, we cats like way better smells than rose-like stinks.
Had he been smart, that Shakespeare dude would have written about catnip.
The nip by any other name would smell as sweet, for sure.
Now THAT'S a quote worth repeatin'.
But you know peeps: They NEVER makin' the effort to write about the important things in life.
Now OBVIOUSLY, nip is one of the best smellin' things in the world. It just is. But there are some other things that smell pretty good, too.
Valerian root, for one.
Oohhh... And stinky feet!
Okay, so those two smells are really one and the same. But it's a VERY GOOD smell, for sure.
Peeps, on the other paw, are all messed up when it comes to smells. They like smells like... Well...
Well like stinky ol' ROSES, I guess.
And oranges. My gosh, if there ever was a stinkier stink than that of an orange, it would be...
It would probably be a lemon.
You know, just the other day, Peep #1 complained 'bout my havin' tuna breath. Can you believe it?
Yeah, that's right. The one who thinks nothin' of stickin' her nose in a rose, complained about the smell of some tuna on my breath. Like I said, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
Never have I heard such nonsense comin' from a lemony-orange, rose-sniffin'...
Well actually, Peep #1 says stupid stuff all the time, so perhaps I have heard such nonsense before. But this incident made it onto the list of TOP TEN stupid things she has said, for sure.
Let's just say, when it comes to smells, peeps have very little taste.
It is a generally accepted fact that we cats have WAY BETTER sniffin' abilities than peeps. But the truth is, we have more than that. It's not just that we can smell stuff better. We also desire to smell better stuff. Better stuff like nip and Valerian - ie. stinky feet - and uh... Tuna. MOUSES!
And actually, we, ourselves, smell better, too. I mean, we cats smell great! If we've been rollin' around in the nip, we might smell like nip, and if we've been rubbin' up against some Valerian root, we might be so fortunate as to smell like stinky feet.
But peeps? HA! They go 'round sprayin' themselves with bottles of stink, and end up smellin' like roses.
And don't even get me started on that stinky, minty-fresh toothpaste they use.
Complainin' about my tuna breath, indeed. I'd take tuna breath over peppermint, any day, for sure.
The only part of a peep that ever smells decent is their feet, and ONLY 'cause the smell is often reminiscent of the heavenly perfume of Valerian root.
We cats, however, smell good from the tips of our ears, to the ends of our tails, and I HAVE PROOF of that, for sure.
Why, just the other day, my brother Anderson was tryin' to sniff my butt.
I, of course, gave him a good smacky-paw to the face, sending him reeling.
Okay, so MAYBE I actually fizzed a little and ran behind the couch, but it's the same thing, really.
Okay, so maybe not. But my point is, you never see peeps sniffin' each others' butts, do you?
And that, my friends, is a good thing, 'cause in all honestly, no one ever wants to go 'round sniffin' rose-scented butts.